Tag Archives: illegal aliens

  pure poetry

Gaze In Awe Upon Fox News’s Six Perfect Words: ‘Crack-Smoking Illegal Alien Registered To Vote’

Future generations of scholars and historians* will need look only to six perfect words (or seven if you count the hyphenation) to understand perfectly the first week of November, the year of our lord 2012: “Crack-Smoking Illegal Alien Registered To Vote.” It is a headline made for literature, and poetry. It may even surpass the wild beauty of Assume Deer Dead. Read more on Gaze In Awe Upon Fox News’s Six Perfect Words: ‘Crack-Smoking Illegal Alien Registered To Vote’…
  stealing volunteer jobs that could be outsourced

Illegal Alien Army Mobilizes For Cash-Strapped Commie Democrats

Some of you sheeple are probably voting for the candidates with the best “ideas” in November, which is embarrassing and ignorant. Real Americans vote for the political hack with the most money to spend on slanderous teevee ads and racist billboards. This is how proper Democracy works, so please stop with the sniveling. But if you are bored: Google “November 2010 Elections” and the first ten thousand results will be “Illuminati spends $100 trillion dollars on attack ads against Democrats, DNC sobs quietly in a corner.” (And then if you click on the Google Images button, you will see pictures of Karl Rove and the US Chamber of Commerce spanking each other wildly.) The Democrats know there is no way they will ever match all this probably illegal money, so what is the only other option? Inspire an army of illegal immigrants to do manual campaign labor! Yes. Democrats like Senator Patty Murray (WA) have brainwashed dozens of illegal immigrants, and now these illegals are going door-to-door, scaring the good people of Washington State. Read more on Illegal Alien Army Mobilizes For Cash-Strapped Commie Democrats…
  the meg whitman of new jersey

Mexican-Hating Lou Dobbs Employs Illegal Mexicans

Orange-headed Space.com founder and fired cable-news host Lou Dobbs was known for one thing during his long last years of anchoring a CNN show even dumber than Rick’s List: Lou Dobbs HATED the Mexicans. Oh man they drove him NUTS! And once CNN management decided Lou Dobbs was too awful even for CNN, Lou Dobbs decided that Evil Ghost Mexicans were attacking his house, with weaponry, and also he fantasized about being president or New Jersey’s anti-Mexican commissioner. What could possibly bring this swollen-faced grumblepuss back to the pages of Wonkette? He got caught hiring illegal aliens! Read more on Mexican-Hating Lou Dobbs Employs Illegal Mexicans…
  rumors on the internets

Fox News Loves Chortling About Witty Halloween Costumes

There’s the Hollywood Harvey Milk that we all know and love, but then there’s the real Harvey Milk, the Harvey Milk who was an asshole and a fraud and it’s just mind-boggling that a jerk like Harvey Milk would get his own Harvey Milk State Holiday. [The Corner] Read more on Fox News Loves Chortling About Witty Halloween Costumes…
  he pays brown people to clean his toilets

Michael Chertoff Latest Innocent Victim Of Nation’s Unfair Immigration Enforcement Laws

Ha ha, it’s funny because the mutant overlord Michael Chertoff is the Secretary of Homeland Security, which includes Immigration and Customs Enforcement, and unbeknownst to him some ILLEGAL ALIENS snuck in and cleaned his house! Have you ever heard of such an outrageous thing in your life, that illegal immigrants might work for large housecleaning services? Read more on Michael Chertoff Latest Innocent Victim Of Nation’s Unfair Immigration Enforcement Laws…
 

Outraged Nativists Reclaim Mexico From Absolut Vodka

The rampant, raging Absolut vodka controversy took on new dimensions this weekend when a pack of insane nativists vowed to boycott Absolut and demanded the firing of the employee who approved an ad that encourages the Mexicans to take over the Northern Hemisphere. To be fair, it is well known that The Illegals and their cohort take most of their political marching orders from liquor ads. Read more on Outraged Nativists Reclaim Mexico From Absolut Vodka…
 

But Does He Have Any Black Babies?

Do you live in South Carolina, and do you have United States Postal Service mail delivery? Then you probably got this, and surely some other Republican fish-wrappery involving racism, fringe groups, God in the constitution, xenophobia, mini-fetus dolls, etc etc etc, and I’m glad to not have been one of you the last few weeks, months, years or lives. [via Jonathan Martin] Read more on But Does He Have Any Black Babies?…