We sent Gawker videographer and resident evil genius Richard Blakeley to cover Sen. Hillary Clinton’s 60th birthday bash at New York’s Beacon Theater last night. Security goons wouldn’t allow video cameras inside, so Blakeley was forced to use words to explain the bovine press process, his Larry Craig moment and his own personal and deeply wrong lust for Chelsea Clinton. To give your peeps something to feast on, we’ve included a nice gallery of photos. After the jump, the story. MORE »

For sure. It’s a major happening on the Hill, man. You know? It just feels like the 1970s with all this ‘No Nukes!’ stuff. MORE »

Sen. Hillary Clinton’s dream of using $1 million tax dollars for an upstate New York museum dedicated to Woodstock, the 1969 three-day event of bad acid, shitty sound systems and foul weather, was busted yesterday by evil white guys who never ever smoked pot. Clinton, along Sen. Chuck Schumer, couched the request for funds in a bill for labor and health programs. Obviously, that didn’t work so well. Republicans rejoice! MORE »

There’s growing evidence that American Idol sensation Sanjaya Malakar and Decision 2008 sensation Barry Hussein Obama are the same person. If it’s not obvious that “Sanjaya” (right) is the same dude as Obama (left), here are some other striking similarities: MORE »

Irish pop star “Bono” is sad because the new Democratic leadership had better things to do this month than kiss the fat old ass of an impossibly vain washed-up entertainer. MORE »

Sandia National Laboratory, which once produced fantastic death ray weapons and nuclear bombs to keep America strong, had to fire a gal for using the government’s supercomputers to access the cell phone account of some rap-metal idiot. MORE »

If you’re the type of 18-35-year-old who leaves comments wondering why we didn’t include tonight’s Middle Distance Runner show at DC9 in the To Do list, you’ll flip over newest Gawker Media property Idolator. It’s a music blog, but, like, a Gawker Media music blog. The blurb: “When the internet came, we overthrew the pasty white tastemakers, the duplicitious music marketers and the manufactured pop idols. And then they all came back. This is Idolator. We’re so disappointed.” MORE »