idiots
Leading San Diego Judge Candidate Gary Kreep Busy Vacuuming Pockets Of Birther Rubes
This is so interesting! Birther/Obama-suer/Taitz-feuder-wither Gary Kreep, currently ahead in a race for a San Diego judgeship by like 1000 votes over the even more unfortunately named Garland Peed, is outspoken in the belief that President Barack Obama is a moon alien (duh), abortion must be prosecuted, and icky homosexuals do not deserve the same [...]
What We Learned From The Nice Libertarian Fellows At 1:30 In The Morning In A Detroit Hotel Bar
We tricked you! The nice Libertarian fellows in the Detroit hotel bar at 1:30 in the morning were not nice at all! They were stupid fucking idiots! But we learned a lot from them anyway, like so: * Al Gore invented the Internet. * Al Gore lied about being the basis for the main character [...]
Gallup: Record High Number Of Pro-Life Americans Want To Kill Your Children
Fun news for chart nerds! Gallup has once again released its annual poll illustrating how much Americans hate abortion by saying it should be legal in all or certain cases. That’s right, “pro-choicers” are at a “record low” of only 41 percent of respondents who want to kill children. Except for the 77 percent of [...]
Let’s Make Fun Of Rep. Daniel Webster, For Being Bad At Congress
Last week we wrote about the latest program that House Republicans drew from their box of Valuable Programs That Benefit Any Number Of People And Aren’t That Expensive But Should Be Destroyed Solely Because A Democrat Likes Them, the American Community Survey — a form of several dozens questions sent to random households each month, [...]
Obama May Not Make The Arizona Ballot For Usual Stupid Arizona Reasons
Your Wonkette is going to write a fun sentence and it is going to be true. Arizona’s Secretary of State has threatened not to put President of the United States of America Barack Obama on the ballot this fall because (a) he had a persuasive chit-chat with World Net Daily arch-grifter Jerome Corsi and (b) [...]
Louisiana Foster Kids Saved From Horror of Loving Homes
BATON ROUGE, LA – A local House Committee in Baton Rouge saved the last little pocket of American innocence on Tuesday. A proposal that would have allowed gay couples and straight unmarried couples and other ungodless folk (Wiccans?) to adopt children together in Louisiana has been defeated, with the House Civil Law and Procedure Committee [...]
Boston Sports Monsters Allegedly Boo President’s Recorded Video Message
At Red Sox game, President Obama comes on big screen to recognize Fenway’s 100th anniversary, followed by loud chorus of boos. — Eric Fehrnstrom (@EricFehrn) April 20, 2012 Via email, from the Red Sox game: “[Pres Obama] just came on the Jumbotron with a birthday message for Fenway and was booed. Loudly” — Jeff Emanuel [...]
Whom Will Rick Santorum Blame For Tonight’s Loss In DC?
That’s right fuckers, we said whom. Also, it was a trick question, because sneery pouty whiny smegma-lipped box o’ outrage Rick Santorum has already blamed his loss in DC on the fact that DC won’t vote for an out-of-the-box insurgent kinda guy like him. But who is really to blame for Rick Santorum’s loss in [...]
Thanks to Hilarious Florida Gun Law, Tampa Cannot Restrict Firearms at GOP Convention
Ooops. Yet another casualty of ALEC’s constant hard-on for making sure you can sodomize yourself with your semi-automatic weapon is Tampa, Florida’s effort to ban guns from the site of the GOP convention in August. NO NOT ALLOWED. DON’T TREAD ON ME, & CETERA.
Snot-Nosed South Carolina State Rep. Proves You Must Stop Electing These Whippersnappers
Millennials! First they shit all over your dress code and then when you call them on it they huff off in a snit and then they make up a bunch of unbelievable nonsense about why they didn’t show up to work for two months and then when you’re all “Hi, Republican state Rep. Eric Bikas, [...]
NOPD Suspends Racist Cop for Proving It With Invite to ‘Join Trayvon Martin in Hell’
Hi, racist New Orleans cop? The Fifth Amendment called and wanted to remind you of your right to not incriminate yourself by posting comments, on Facebook, under your name, while on desk duty for your role in another shooting, about Trayvon Martin being “in Hell,” YOU STUPID FUCKING RACIST CRACKER.
The Longest Apocalypse: Liveblogging Yet Another GOP Debate
Hello from your Wonkette liveblogging team, taking part once again in America’s “national pastime,” which is trying to get web video streams to function for long enough to hear whatever racist crazy talk the GOP candidates offer tonight. Are you ready? Does a recently converted-to-Catholicism serial adulterer/divorcer shit in the woods? No, because the Newt [...]
Jerkoff To Retire From Congress
Indefensible lifelong asshole Jerry Lewis, Republican crook from California’s “Inland Empire,” will finally retire from the House because his district is no longer a geometric abomination carved out by his GOP cronies. Lewis, a hateful clown in a white fright wig, has spent his career being a complete asshole while lavishing pork projects on his [...]
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