Tag: idiots

Other than *that* it's a pretty compelling argument

Facebook Gun Hero Explains Assassinatin’ Beats Voting Every Time

From the Coalition to Stop Gun Violence Facebook page comes the above screenshot of a cheerful Election Day message from a pro-gun, pro-insurrection Facebook thing. The Facebook group is still up, though they've removed the image and the accompanying...
Thank goodness you can't get Ebola from spittle

Chris Christie Wants To Play Doctor With Nurse Lady, Mostly By Yelling At Her

With no teachers immediately available to yell at, New Jersey Gov. Chris Christie has taken up yelling at nurses, we guess. In the latest twist on Chris Christie's War On Health Care Workers Who Volunteer To Fight Deadly Diseases,...
If it keeps the terrorists from winning, it's still civic-minded.

Fox News: Young Women Should Go Find Sexxytimes Online And Leave Democracy To Grownups

Fox News hostroid Kimberly Guilfoyle said Tuesday that America would be a far better place if young women would just please stay home and go do their Twittergrams and Tindermatches instead of cluttering up our elections with all their...
No self-respecting gay person would be caught dead driving one of these

Don’t Feed The Gays After Midnight

Anthony Culler, the Republican running against James Clyburn for South Carolina's 6th Congressional District, has a few problems as a candidate, according to The Hill. Culler "is not well-liked by the GOP establishment in South Carolina, and has no...
Just as Darwin Demanded

Duggars Did A Pretty Good Job Edumacatin’ Their Womb-Fruits, All Right

Reality Teevee show person Jessa Duggar went to the United States Holocaust Memorial Museum in Washington DC, and came away believing that Charles Darwin led directly to the Nazis' attempted extermination of European Jewry, which suggests that the museum's...
S-M-R-T

Idiot Idaho Teen Rolls SUV When Idiot Friend Lights Armpit Hair On Fire

In what we fear could be the start of a trend, a Boise teenager who is definitely not Kid Zoom or any of his friends crashed a Ford Bronco Sunday after his 16-year-old front seat passenger reached over and...
Wingnuts raised hell in 1968 about this Black Jesus, too.

‘Black Jesus’ About As Popular With Pharisees As The Original

Hey, did you kidz watch that new show Thursday night, "Black Jesus," on the Adult Swim Cartoons For Stoned Grownups Teevee Channel? We did not, because we are traveling and without TiVo, and we haven't watched television in...
And there go a quarter of the comments...

Utah Language School Fires Blogger For Promoting Homophone Agenda

No matter how much we wish this was a case of a paper overselling its headline, it is absolutely true: A social-media specialist for a private language school in Provo, Utah, has been fired because he wrote a blog...
British Ben Shapiro doppleganger

British Right-Wing Nutjob Quite Displeased With His Gay Homosexual Dog

The not-at-all racist members of the British National Party are big believers in the "self-deportation" policies championed by one Mittens J. Romneyford, Esq. They also have some interesting views on the gheys, and they do not appreciate it when those...

Figures: Stupidest Man On Internet Disgusted That Obama Would Abandon Bergdahl, Rescue Bergdahl

Hats off to Josh Marshall (and his tipster, "TT") at Talking Points Memo for this one: Back in October, Stupidest Man on the Internet Jim Hoft was shocked and horrified at the prospect that Barack Obama might abandon POW...

Don’t Blame Breitbart When Al Qaeda Murders The NYPD!

So, everybody was all Happy and Nice Timey about the New York Police Department ditching its "Demographics Unit," a.k.a. Muslim surveillance unit, right? All it did was anger New York and New Jersey's Muslim communities and screw with civil...

South Carolina State Senator Has Had Enough Of This State University Turning Gals Into Lesbians

South Carolina's Legislature appears to be in the grip of a full-fledged Gay Panic, and not the good kind. First, there were budget cuts to punish two universities that had assigned LGBT-themed reading: $17,142 from the University of South...

Sarah Palin Literally Scourges And Crucifies Paul Ryan For Not Hating Poors Hard Enough

Professional Eddie Munster imitator Wisconsin Republican Rep. Paul Ryan had to be feeling pretty pleased with himself yesterday, raining all over B. Barry Bamz's football-spikin' party with a new 10-year budget proposal. Ryan's lil' April Fool's Day prank would...

Louie Gohmert Wins All Foreign Policy By Debunking Comedy Routine

Hiya, Wonketeers! Do you know what Vladimir Putin's annexation of the Crimea means for the New Russian Century? We do not, we are a peen-joke blog, so we rely on experts to expertlain it to us. Whaddaya got, Maureen Dowd?...

Vegas ‘Investment’ Guy Rolls Dice On Any White Person Liking Obama, Comes Up Snakeyes

Another day, another nail in the coffin of the Worst Presidency Ever. Trustworthy snake oil salesman "investment" guru Wayne Allyn Root has pulled out his figurin' stick and dropped math all over Barack Obama (sp?) and his record-low poll numbers. You...

Thought Experiment: Do These Two States Exist In The Same Country?

Today, students, I would like you to begin work on an essay titled, "Why Is The United States Not Engaged In A Great Civil War?" You will need to cite the following examples of disparate U.S. American cultural values,...