Tag: idiots

Whaddayamean, an F?

Yeehaw! Texas Colleges Open To Pistol Packin’, What Could Possibly Go Wrong?

Thank heavens, the Texas Lege has finally done something about the defenseless students on Texas college campuses! A law allowing concealed handgun carry on campuses went into effect today to allow students and faculty to defend themselves from Comanchero...
Carpe abyssium

Gaze Long Into The Trump Foreign Policy And It Gazes Back Into You: A Wonksplainer!

Reading Donald Trump's Wednesday interview with the New York Times, we were struck by the thought that he actually hates America. Holds it in contempt, at least, and thinks it's a pathetic thing that might be just salvageable by the super-genius...
Wipers of other people's bottoms!

Philippines Wins World Court Case Over South China Sea Islands, China Responds, ‘Sez Who?’

So, what are the Foreigns up to this morning, aside from getting exercise outside by catching all the Pokémons? Oh, just defying international court decisions like a common George W. Bush, OK, fine, wait, what? Turns out that earlier today...

Disney Is Trying To Turn Your Daughters So Lezzy

Achtung! Attention! One Million Moms and Todd Starnes and all the other usual idiots have a new tizzy! It seems the Disney program "Once Upon A Time" is gaying up Red Riding Hood and Dorothy Gale (from Kansas) and...
To The Management: Please correct this image. I would never use Courier. On second thought, never mind. You people would just replace it with Comic Sans.

Deleted Comments Of The Week: New Year’s Moron Nuggets

It's a brand new year, and a brand new iteration of the same old bunch of angerbears in the Wonkette Comments. Our featured comments are a little out of the ordinary this week, in that the howls of rightwing...
America, Fuck Yeah!

How Many Mosques Did You Burn For Jesus’s Birthday? (Updated)

Updated: See end of post You know what makes America a great country? We're so exceptional that when we decide it's time to save the world from Radical Muslim Extremists, we save the world from Radical Muslim Extremists, and...

Dudes Who Shot Up Black Lives Matter Crowd Not Quite Racist Enough For Hate Crimes Charge

We are learning ever so many charming things about the four dudebros arrested for the shooting attack on five people attending a Black Lives Matter protest in Minneapolis last week. For one thing, we have learned alleged shooter Allen...
Any questions?

Gentleman Discharges Gun In Pants, Goes To Emergency Room Half-Cocked

A Second Amendment Hero in Sioux Falls, South Dakota, accidentally shot himself in the peen earlier this month, then lied to police about the negligent discharge, initially claiming that he had been injured in the aforementioned naughtybits by "a...
No problem, man, we got too many dang ol' illegals here already, man.

Butthurt Crackers Butthurt Over Slavery Monument Since They Can’t Have Treason Flag

Taking the concept of false equivalence to its illogical conclusion, some morons have started a petition to remove the African-American Monument from the South Carolina statehouse grounds, because it's offensive to white people. As Great Statesman Lindsey Graham observed,...
Daily Caller newsroom

Daily Caller Very Worried Gays Being Treated Poorly At Oklahoma University

Never underestimate wingnuts when it comes to concern trolling, and also being dumber than you possibly could imagine. Here's your basic story: They're building an LGBT study lounge at the University of Oklahoma. Queer advocates were pulling for a...
Fact: The Intenet has as many anime gun girls as Texas has open carry advocates

Texas ‘Open Carry’ Loon Ready To Start Executing Lawmakers, Because Freedom Is Why

The bill to allow licensed open carry of handguns in Texas wasn't slowed down a bit by the shootout in Waco, but it has hit a bit of a roadblock in the state legislature -- police groups are lobbying...
Yes, this really exists

Gay-Hatin’ Alabama Chief Justice Roy Moore Ready To Be Martyred At The Straight-People Alamo

Ten Commandments Hero Chief Justice Roy Moore came from Alabama with a Brawndo on his knee t'other day, visiting the Lone Star State Monday to address a very important "Defense of Texas Marriage Amendment Rally,” where he said that...
God hates logic

Westboro Baptists Beam Down To Wrong Coordinates, Miss Spock’s Funeral

While Vulcans would never stoop to the human emotional response of laughter, we know that Spock would wryly raise an eyebrow in appreciation of the absurdity (no, not irony, don't you dare say it was ironic) of the Westboro...
It's your right to make everyone around you sick

CA Dad Would Like Anti-Vaxxers To Stop Trying To Kill His Son

Not only is refusing to get your kids vaccinated aggressively stupid, it's also exceedingly selfish, a fact anti-vaxxers will have a hard time dismissing now that 6-year-old leukemia patient Rhett Krawitt has come to national attention. His father is...
Is the guy on the right also the guy in the middle, or do all gun-humpers look the same to Yr Wonket?

Florida Makes It Even Easier To Live Out Your Family-Friendly Gun-Humping Fantasies

Orlando has long been a destination for theme-park enthusiasts, so if you're planning to bring the kids to see Mickey and Minnie, be sure to swing by Machine Gun America, a brand-spankin'-new theme park that opens Saturday, Dec. 20. If...
Dear Sir or Madame: I am outraged by the lack of variety in the .gifs on this blog!

Deleted Comments Of The Week: Why Don’t You People Cover The Important Stories?

It's the weekend, and time to catch up on some vital maintenance -- refill the poison rat dick stockpiles, top off the Pony cache, and slop out the comments queue, that sort of thing. And we have some real...