Wonkette

Idaho Congressman Bill Sali has been participating in the current GOP Cuddle Party For Oil. But no one will listen to him even though he knows everything! In fact, he could solve the entire energy crisis in one hot minute if people paid any damn attention, because he knows that there “could be up to 40 barrels of oil” in a single tree. Ha ha, look at what you’ve really been hugging all these years, you filthy liberal hippies: a filthy casket of crude oil. Unless somehow Sali doesn’t know what he’s talking about? MORE »

So there is this Democratic paraphernalia vendor called Tigerye Design, and they sell buttons and other crap. One such button, briefly available for purchase on their site, showed Barack Obama and Idaho Bathroom Goblin Larry Craig instead of Obama and Idaho Senatorial candidate Larry LaRocco. So until the vendor pulled it, a button was available that showed the guy who even straight dudes want to do and the straight guy who wants to do dudes. Prediction: this button will retail on eBay for fifteen thousand whore diamonds. [AP]

Here’s Idaho Senior Senator Larry Craig describing a handjob he gave Hugo Chavez gayly saying we can’t let foreign dictators “jerk us around by the gas nozzle” doing both of the things we’ve crossed out. Note the flailing hands. [TPM]

A Wonkette Senate operative has informed us that Idaho Sen. Larry Craig is on the Senate floor now, and “he’s talking about the ‘Craig Does Act,’ and said ‘we adjusted ourselves a little bit’ referencing ‘the no zone’ as well.” Yes folks, it’s true: Larry Craig is a major player in Congressional efforts to end the ban on domestic drilling (for oil), with his very special “Craig D.O.E.S. Act,” which seeks to alleviate “Pain at the Pump.” Craig reasons that once America gets used to being drilled, the pumps won’t be as painful. [Sen. Larry Craig]

This old coot is Walt Bayes, a 70-year-old retired Bitter who is running for Idaho’s House of Representatives. Two years ago, Bayes went on a comical 59-day hunger strike because of abortion. Quitter! That’s OK, because Bayes has lots of good ideas for Larry Craig’s state. In his “campaign literature,” there are all sorts of innovative ideas for public education, such as this: “It is absolutely wrong to force any student to share the same bathrooms and showers with homosexual teachers or students.” He explains. MORE »

Hillary’s election strategy is legendarily flawed, what with it making her lose and all. Look at the classic fable of New Jersey and Idaho on Super Tuesday: Hillary puts all her time into winning the big state, ignores Idaho, while Obama holds one mega-rally in Boise. She wins New Jersey’s delegates 59-48 (+11, for those of you who hate Elite Math) while Obama win’s Idaho’s delegates 15-3 (+12). Was it just stubbornness, or did she think she would win New Jersey by a larger amount? A new Time article reveals that this poor strategy stemmed from the simplest possible explanation: Chief Strategist Mark “Bowser” Penn had no idea what “apportioned delegates” were. He literally did not know the rules of the Democratic party’s nominating process. MORE »

Back in, uh, JULY, a 60-foot penis etching appeared on a hillside of the Idaho’s governor’s mansion after some scurrilous teenagers (teenagers!) “applied extra-strength weed killer” to the grass. Things move slowly in Idaho, and “officials said at the time it was too late in the growing season to attempt to remove the image.” Oh what the hell, let’s just keep quoting: “Snow hid the oversized phallus over the winter, but when it emerged again in the spring some neighbors had had enough.” So here’s what they did: “The area was recently replanted with grass seedlings and covered with straw. A previous attempt by landscapers to obliterate the image only enhanced it with a dark green outline, after which it was covered with a bright blue tarpaulin for several weeks.” [AP/Idaho Statesman]

Disgraced “singing senator” Larry Craig will soon have a new career after he leaves the Senate in January after bringing us all a million laughs: The Idaho homosexual will write a book about energy policy! Craig visited some little county somewhere in Idaho last week to push a great new pollution method called a “coal-gassification plant.” MORE »