Tag Archives: idaho

  Pass To The Left

Idaho Transportation Dept. Has Had It With You Stoners Stealing ‘420’ Mileposts

Huhhh... Huhh-huhh. 420, Man. Huhh.
Huhhh. Huhh-huhh. 420, Man. Huhh. In general, Yr Wonkette is quite open and loving and tolerant toward potheads, who (we hear) tend to be gentle souls who natter on endlessly about how industrial hemp will save the world through Fiber Magic, and then start giggling like idiots whenever they see the number “420.” It’s about as automatic as any male over the age of 12 seeing the whole number that falls between 68 and 70. But in the Great State of Idaho, where officialdom is not friendly to lovers of the gentle bud, the state Transportation Department is sick and tired of stoners stealing the “Mile 420” marker on US Highway 95, just south of Coeur d’Alene, a town name that is hard to spell even when you’re not all potted up on weed. And so they’ve replaced the sign with a marker reading “Mile 419.9.” Read more on Idaho Transportation Dept. Has Had It With You Stoners Stealing ‘420’ Mileposts…
  Go Ahead And Film A Cow Man

Horrible Bad Factory Farmers Can’t Put You In Jail For Exposing Them No More!

Trust us, you'd rather see these cows than the real ones
For all of the whining about Free Speech being destroyed by TV networks that fire bigots or by mean blog moderators who don’t let jerk-babies ruin their comments sections, sometimes governments pass terrible laws that are actual violations of the real First Amendment. So wave your ACLU Pocket Constitution in the air, folks — we’re happy to report that Idaho’s incredibly dumb “Ag Gag” law was found unconstitutional by a federal court Monday. Read more on Horrible Bad Factory Farmers Can’t Put You In Jail For Exposing Them No More!…
  Burning Sensation

Wonkette Camping Corner: Don’t Set Your Poo Wipes On Fire, Dumbass

Poop has consequences, people.
Important reminder for you outdoorsy types: It’s a really bad idea to set fire to your toilet paper during a drought, as a Boise mountain bicyclist learned after his attempt to dispose of the remnants of an outdoors poo break resulted in a 73-acre wildfire. We thought you should know before making a Burnt Offering to the Great Cornholio. Read more on Wonkette Camping Corner: Don’t Set Your Poo Wipes On Fire, Dumbass…
  The Price Of Liberty Is Eternal Dipshittery

Military Recruiters Not Thrilled With Militia ‘Protecting’ Them, By Accidentally Shooting Stuff

Not feeling a lot safer, nope
After the Chattanooga shootings, a whole bunch of armed militia loons took it upon themselves to do for the military what the Pentagon was too pussy to do for itself: dress up like they’re ready for World War Z and stand around outside recruiting centers, just in case any more 24-year-old Muslim guys with depression and drug problems decide to go on a murder spree. But is the military grateful? No, the ingrates at the U.S. Army and other branches of the military have asked them to please just go away, and advised recruiters to treat armed people milling around outside their offices as a security threat. Read more on Military Recruiters Not Thrilled With Militia ‘Protecting’ Them, By Accidentally Shooting Stuff…
  You're fucked too Portland

Seattle To Be Destroyed By Biggest Earthquake Ever, Bye Seattle!

The comments section at Gawker?
OK, Portland and Seattle Wonkers, this is a public service announcement. We are going to need you to find buddies in the comments section (which does not exist), and beg them to let you crash on their couch, because you guys are going to have a REALLY BIG EARTHQUAKE. Yeah, maybe you already knew that, but the rest of America is finding out now, thanks to a fascinating long-read in The New Yorker on what may end up being the biggest natural disaster in U.S. American history. This isn’t some wussy San Andreas Fault 7-point whatever business, this is more along the lines of the 2011 quake in Tōhoku, Japan, which registered 9.0 on the Richter scale and triggered the tsunami that triggered the Fukushima nuclear reactor meltdowns. This is big shit. Read more on Seattle To Be Destroyed By Biggest Earthquake Ever, Bye Seattle!…
  50 Shades Of Grad

Families Face Jail For Cheering Mississippi High School Grads, Lucky Not To Be Tased

The 'broken windows' theory of graduation policing
Four people were ejected from a high school commencement ceremony in Senatobia, Mississippi, after breaking the rules and cheering for their graduating teens, because the school superintendent had said quite clearly that everyone should hold their applause until all the graduates’ names had been announced. He said it right at the beginning and everyone knew the rules, but SOME PEOPLE just can’t follow simple rules, now CAN THEY? And then, to emphasize the point, a week later, Senatobia Municipal School District Superintendent Jay Foster somehow managed to get a judge to issue warrants for the offenders’ arrest on charges of Disturbing the Peace, because you Have To Set An Example. At least nobody prayed. Read more on Families Face Jail For Cheering Mississippi High School Grads, Lucky Not To Be Tased…
  Readin' Ritin' And Rifles

Idaho School Staff Packing Heat, What Could Possibly Go Wrong?

Garden Valley School (machine gun nests not shown)
A plucky rural Idaho school is ready to protect its students from All The Bad Guys, yay! The Garden Valley School district, about 50 miles northeast of Boise, bought itself four rifles and 2,000 rounds of ammunition, to prepare for whatever horrific mayhem might descend on the town’s single K-12 school, which has a total of 239 students. KBOI TV reports that the school is also “considering spending up to $2,000 to purchase extra magazine rounds and body armor vests, according to school board documents. Each rifle was purchased for $680.” They’re going to want that body armor, just in case the zombies or militant Idaho jihadis start attacking. Read more on Idaho School Staff Packing Heat, What Could Possibly Go Wrong?…
  sup bro?

Toe-Tapping Sen. Larry Craig Liked His Manwhores Butch (No Femmes, No Asians, No Fats)

And then he did it to me like this.
Well, well, well, your favorite former senator, the “Larry Craig” one who liked to teabag you with his “wide stance” in the men’s room at the airport, is back in the news! You remember him. He is the one who was 100 percent certain that the homosexuals were NOT sucking his cock, because he was married, to a lady! And now we know what his Grindr profile would have looked like, if Grindr had existed back when he was the man-sexing, closeted senator from Idaho. Instead, Craig had to hire man-hookers, ALLEGEDLY, from a man called Henry Vinson, who has written a tell-all book about his time being a Hoor Pimper for the gays: Read more on Toe-Tapping Sen. Larry Craig Liked His Manwhores Butch (No Femmes, No Asians, No Fats)…
  Somewhere Somehow Somebody Must Have Kicked You Around Some

Rand Paul: Why Help Iraqi Refugees? We Won, So Suck It, Losers.

Somewhere somehow somebody must have kicked him around some. Maybe in the head.
Libertarian Superstar Rand Paul brought his trademark “Every issue must be discussed like a 2 AM bull session in the Objectivist Dorm” sensibilities to the issue of resettling Iraqi refugees, explaining that we don’t need to help those people, because for godssake, we won the war over there. Doesn’t anyone remember how we won that war? Read more on Rand Paul: Why Help Iraqi Refugees? We Won, So Suck It, Losers….
  the commentczar's in town

Deleted Comments Of The Week: You Sheepy Sheeple Are Such Sheep!

To The Management: Please correct this image. I would never use Courier. On second thought, never mind. You'd just replace it with Comic Sans.
We have a Very Special Men And Women of Few Words edition of Dear ShitFerBrains for you today, because due to some odd alignment of the planets this week, we didn’t receive a single long, painful screed that ranged over everything from Benghazi to water fluoridation. Just a lot of staccato bursts of derp. And so the question must be asked: Is our trolls learning? Hahahaha, who are we kidding, of course not (As always, all spelling, spacing, and punctuation is reproduced verbatim). Read more on Deleted Comments Of The Week: You Sheepy Sheeple Are Such Sheep!…
  Let's gossip about the week that was!

It’s Sunday Funday At The Wonkette, Let’s Drink Mimosas And Judge People

It's the best day of the week!
Hola, Wonkers, we hope that your Sunday is treating you well. Pull up a chair, for we must now gossip about all the hilarious and CONTROVERSIAL stories that you clicked on the most this week! We thought you would all be super-excited about Marco Rubio running for president, but none of those stories made the top 10, :(. Guess Rubio will never be president now. Also never being President? Hillary Clinton, because none of her stories made the top 10 either! It’s all yours, Rand Paul! Read more on It’s Sunday Funday At The Wonkette, Let’s Drink Mimosas And Judge People…
  Snake River Jihad

Sure, Idaho, Child Support Bill Will Lead To Sharia Law. What? No, You’re Not Crazy At All

Get out of that state, get out of that state you're in. You better beware...
Left: State Sen. Sheryl Nuxoll (R-Cottonwood) Right: The International Radical Islamic Juggernaut, Everywhere But Idaho The Idaho Legislature’s 2015 session came to an exciting end Friday with a small group of nutjob Republicans killing off a bill to enforce child support judgments so Idaho wouldn’t have to fear living under the yoke of radical Islamic law. The decision to kill the bill endangers the state’s access to about $46 million in federal funding and to programs that help with processing child support payments and tracking down delinquent parents. But isn’t that a small price to pay to remain free of the taint of Sharia? Read more on Sure, Idaho, Child Support Bill Will Lead To Sharia Law. What? No, You’re Not Crazy At All…
  As Falls Idaho So Falls Idaho Falls

Sorry, Idaho, You Are Getting Jihaded By Radical Muslims Now :(

Or maybe they're just breathing hard
The Republican Party of Bonneville County, Idaho, just wanted to let its members know that they might need to keep an eye on any Muslims they might happen to encounter in that eastern Idaho county, home to Idaho Falls and that hotbed of Islamic radicalism, Eastern Idaho Technical College.* Why, there’s even an actual mosque in Pocatello, just 50 miles away! And so the Bonneville County GOP included in its most recent newsletter, sent out Monday, a piece titled “Islam In Idaho” that doesn’t sound the least bit paranoid, not at all! Read more on Sorry, Idaho, You Are Getting Jihaded By Radical Muslims Now :(…
  Aggravated Doing Unto Others

Christian End Times Family Band Gunfighting With Cops For The Lord

C'mon Get Raptured!
Several members of a Christian family band from Boise, Idaho, got into a brawl and gunfight with police in a Walmart parking lot in Cottonwood, Arizona, on Saturday night, leaving one member of the family dead and the rest in police custody. The group, which called itself “Matthew 24 Now” (GET IT???*) looked forward to the coming End Times, and apparently felt the need to hurry up the schedule a little when they attacked police and fired on them. Maybe they just loved the smell of cordite in the evening. Read more on Christian End Times Family Band Gunfighting With Cops For The Lord…
  Participatory Democracy Is For The Birds

New Hampshire Lege Tells Kids To Shove Their ‘State Raptor’ Bill Right Up Their Butts

What's a raptor gotta do to get a little respect around here?
In yet another instance of state lawmakers taking a perfectly nice idea proposed by some civic-minded kids and teaching them a wholly dispiriting lesson about how government really works, several members of the New Hampshire House went out of their way last Thursday to be personally dickish to a group of fourth graders who had written to their state representative to propose a bill. The kids had proposed that the red-tailed hawk be named the official State Raptor, and the bill initially made it through the Environment and Agriculture committee. But when the kids and their teacher, James Cutting, took a field trip Lincoln Akerman School in Hampton Falls to see their bill pass in the full House, they got a civics lesson they hadn’t expected. Read more on New Hampshire Lege Tells Kids To Shove Their ‘State Raptor’ Bill Right Up Their Butts…
  Shiva Maniac Maniac On the Floor

Idaho Legislator Will Never Apologize, Never Surrender, For Explaining Hindu Gods Are Fake

We know who we like better
Left: Sheryl Nuxoll, Member, Idaho Senate (R-Cottonwood); Right: Ganesha, Hindu god of beginnings, wisdom (Party affiliation unknown) A couple weeks ago, there was quite the to-do in the Idaho Legislature when three state senators walked out on an invocation given by a Hindu clergyman (initial reports put the number at seven, but, it turns out three were just plain late showing up, while a fourth was also late, but was “disappointed” when he learned the prayer wasn’t Christian). Since then, one of the three, state Sen. Sheryl Nuxoll, has continued to make waves on the JesusWeb for comments she made following the walkout, calling Hinduism a “false faith with false gods” and refusing to apologize. Nuxoll’s brave resistance to the wave of Hinduism that’s apparently taking over the Gem State even drew notice from the American Family Association, which carried a story about her on its OneNewsNow site Monday: Read more on Idaho Legislator Will Never Apologize, Never Surrender, For Explaining Hindu Gods Are Fake…