Tag Archives: iceland

  anything but 'reince'

Icelandic Girl With Freaky English Name Can’t Get Passport

Man oh man, and American teabaggers whine about oppressive government overreach? How about this chilling tale from Iceland? Ten-year-old Harriet Cardew, an Icelandic citizen by birth whose father, Tristan Cardew, moved to Iceland 14 years ago, has been denied a passport because the Icelandic Naming Committee doesn’t recognize her name as “Icelandic.” (And just to make for more amusement, Harriet’s mom is named Kristín. Don’t pronounce it as “Kristen,” though, because there’s probably some Icelandic law against people with rhyming names getting married.) This is the sort of interference in private individual choices that Americans would never stand for — just ask people who name their daughters “Neveah” or “Cherry.” Read more on Icelandic Girl With Freaky English Name Can’t Get Passport…
  have a herpy derpy christmas

Derp Roundup: Special Christmas Edition

Happy Sacred Baby Festival to all you Wonkers! Hope you’ve had as much festivity as you can handle, and perhaps more.* And now, for some Happy Holiderp: a roundup of seasonal stories that were too stoopid to ignore altogether, but not quite worth a whole post of their own. We recommend that you treat it like dollar-store eggnog: add enough liquor, and you just won’t mind the taste anymore. Our first tale of Christmas cheer comes from Lake City, Florida, where the Columbia City Seventh-Day Adventist Church had a “drive through Nativity” scene with more than just a manger. It also depicted other parts of the Gospel accounts, like King Herod’s slaughter of the Innocents — the attempt to knock off Baby Jesus by killing all boys under the age of two. A local mom complained that the display, with decapitated dolls and fake blood everywhere, left her two-year-old daughter seriously freaked out: “as we pulled up further, they were depicting decapitating babies and that happened to be on the side of the vehicle that my 2 year old was on and it was very traumatic for her she started crying and screaming because of the baby and it took me hours to calm her down.” Hey, it’s in the Bible, so it’s suitable for all ages, lady. You have a problem with the Bible? Extra points to the doofus local teevee reporter for describing the display as “historically accurate,” but all points lost for their not including any video of the actual display. No photos appear to be online either, so instead we’ll just link to an appropriate song. Read more on Derp Roundup: Special Christmas Edition…
  Our Cold Dead Hands

Gun Fun Roundup, American Exceptionalism Edition

Greetings from Wonkette’s brand new Bunker O’ Love, the underground safe room on our Idaho compound where we go to write about guns, gun accessories, and how they have made America great. Today, we have several tales of Great Americans using their guns for personal protection while keeping them in reserve to rise up against the oppressive Federal Government Tyranny that is right around the corner. Let’s see what America’s responsible gun owners are up to this week! Read more on Gun Fun Roundup, American Exceptionalism Edition…
  socialist paradise

Iceland Discovers That The Economy Has a Liberal Bias

The last time we checked in with Iceland, it was in the heady days of 2009. The world economy had collapsed, taking Iceland with it, and the Prime Minister, the Foreign Minister, the Commerce Ministers had all found very pressing reasons to quit, the political process would soon degenerate into a flurry of egg-throwing, and a massive volcano would unleash screaming Scottish people onto the streets and airports of the capital city. Goodbye, Iceland, we thought. Have fun in the Third World, as they call it, and let us know how it is because we will be joining you soon! It turns out, however, that Iceland did NOT in fact descend into ruin but in an unexpected twist, decided that it would be wiser to push banking sector losses onto bondholders instead of taxpayers. AYN RAND IS GOING TO BE SO MAD, YOU GUYS. Read more on Iceland Discovers That The Economy Has a Liberal Bias…
  did jesus kill his dinosaurs with volcanoes?

Remember the Idiot Republican Bobby Jindal Mocking ‘Volcano Monitoring’?

It’s unfair to blame only Bobby Jindal, the boy exorcist of the bayou, for this asinine response to Barack Obama’s first State of the Union address. Why? Because the entire national GOP leadership shares the blame for this dumb bullshit. But doesn’t Bobby look smug while he consults his illustrated Bible for proof that American manufacturing, high-speed trains and geological disasters are all simple tricks of the Devil? Read more on Remember the Idiot Republican Bobby Jindal Mocking ‘Volcano Monitoring’?…
  making fox news look smart

CNN Idiot Rick Sanchez Thinks Iceland Is ‘Too Cold’ For Volcanoes

Rick Sanchez is so stupid that other teevee anchor people are embarrassed for him. Here’s CNN’s most comical idiot saying that Iceland is “too cold” for volcanic eruptions, because of course volcanoes depend upon the surface air temperature to heat the lava and ash deep below the Earth’s crust. That’s why “long words” like Hawaii — with just one more syllable than “Iceland” — have so many volcanoes all the time, it’s just so warm! [YouTube] Read more on CNN Idiot Rick Sanchez Thinks Iceland Is ‘Too Cold’ For Volcanoes…
  modern problems

Americans Sad To Be ‘Stuck’ In Europe, Due To Dinosaur-Killing Volcano Ash

Wonkette operative Lady MacBeth writes, “Jesus Christ, I’m stuck in the South of France. And all you people can do is cover tea party events??? There are so many of us stuck in Europe and humbled by language barriers and dirty laundry and stripey black-and-white shirts and Wonkette covers the tea party?!” Yeah well you know WHAT, “Lady,” if that is your real (European) name? Read more on Americans Sad To Be ‘Stuck’ In Europe, Due To Dinosaur-Killing Volcano Ash…
  us in two years tops

Iceland, The Country, Basically Gives Up

We last heard of “Iceland” in the fall during those first exciting weeks of the Global Great Depression, when our proudly “interconnected” global economy did what it ultimately was designed to do: self-implode all at once. Since most/all of Iceland’s prosperity in the last decade was derived from a burgeoning financial sector, all of its banks immediately defaulted and were nationalized; the government raised interests rates to 18% or so to secure a do-or-die loan from the evil IMF, leading other European countries to call them losers and de-friend them, and voila: welcome to the THIRD WORLD, Iceland! Hope you remembered to pack a lunch! This was the backdrop for this week’s developments, in which every government official got cancer and resigned, and then the government *itself* resigned, and now they’re just going to let some lesbian run everything. Read more on Iceland, The Country, Basically Gives Up…