Get Your Psychotropic Drugs Free With Each Deportation!
Wednesday, May 14th, 2008
If you’ve ever wondered how to get your hands on some nice whale tranquilizers, wonder no longer: just emigrate to the U.S., get deported, say something inoffensive like, “I would prefer not to return to the Congo, because I am a journalist and they will kill me there,” and a representative from the Immigration and Customs Enforcement agency will happily inject you with massive doses of frightening antipsychotic drugs like Haldol. No diagnosed psychotic disorder? No problem! You are still entitled to a horrifying drug cocktail that will leave you immobilized and hallucinating for days while your swollen tongue returns to its normal size. [Washington Post]
If you’ve ever wondered how to get your hands on some nice whale tranquilizers, wonder no longer: just emigrate to the U.S., get deported, say something inoffensive like, “I would prefer not to return to the Congo, because I am a journalist and they will kill me there,” and a representative from the Immigration and Customs Enforcement agency will happily inject you with massive doses of frightening antipsychotic drugs like Haldol. No diagnosed psychotic disorder? No problem! You are still entitled to a horrifying drug cocktail that will leave you immobilized and hallucinating for days while your swollen tongue returns to its normal size. [Washington Post]
Did you have some sort of plans Tuesday night? Were you crushed by the Terrorist Ice Strom? Well here’s some of what your Wonkette cooked up for you during our nation’s only Maryland-Virginia-DC primary: 
According to Shepard Smith, 
Panic! There’s SNOW outside! As the federal government struggles to cope with this strange, cold, slippery water-like substance that’s coated every exposed surface of the city, employees everywhere are being sent home early — so no one’s reading us!