We don’t know what this “emo” stuff is really about, either — it’s just boys who dress like The Strokes and wear Robert Smith eyeliner and whine-yell a bunch of misogynistic nonsense about their hurt feelings, right? How the hell this goes back to Ian MacKaye, we cannot even pretend to understand. And being a slave to your banal Emotions is about as far from the Path as you can get, but whatever, this is America. And, according to cultural anthropologist David Rees, disgraced blabbermouth Mark Sanford is an emo kid! Look for his new album on MySpace next week, Tears of Argentina (Maria), by his vanity project “the sparkin’ thing.” BREAKING UPDATE: Or is Mark Sanford actually Jude Law from a Kate Winslet movie we never saw? David Denby sure has a comment, about this comparison! [David Rees]

Minor Threat/Fugazi/The Evens/Dischord D.C. punk hero Ian MacKaye is not dead.

When you call him at home, he announces, “I am still alive.” It’s true! The Baltimore Sun even tried it. MacKaye supposedly died last night at St. Agnes Hospital in Baltimore, even though he keeps claiming he hasn’t really died. Whatever you say, Ian!

Ian MacKaye Is Alive [Baltimore Sun]