Too bad they’re not filled with Obama’s birth certificates, from Moscow, in Saudi Arabia. Please let’s have the Supreme Court stop this fraud president before Washington becomes, somehow, filled with garbage! [YouTube]

BUH-BAYH: It’s not Bayh or Kaine, according to MSNBC. This Jack Reed thing is looking more and more likely. [MSNBC]

Well, who the hell knows, but we have it on very good authority — an email sent to your editor, who is not named “Chris” — that Rhode Island senior senator Jack Reed will become Obama’s running mate, officially, in the next few hours or at least by tomorrow morning. Why some Eastern senator from a make-believe state? Because he’s a Military Hero, get it? MORE »

OBAMA RELOADED: Tipster “Joseph S.” writes: “Obama’s Downloads site is being updated! If you go to his site and click Media, then Downloads, it goes to Downloads v2. However, there is no page there. Something’s happening.” [WHAT IS HAPPENING?]

THAT’S SEXIST: The Washington Post is super sorry for running that funny column last week by that one lady about how the ladies are swooning for Handsome Barack Obama. Washington Post “Ombudsman” Deborah Powell writes: “But my umpteen years of experience have taught me to be wary of using humor, satire or irony about gender, race or religion.” Yes, we noticed that. [Washington Post]

Shocking new evidence suggests all those screaming, cooing, crying women with moist panties at the Obama rallies perhaps are feeling something romantic about their beloved Barack. “They say the phenomenon is difficult to describe,” AFP reports from a Maryland rally for Obama, “But once they experience it they tell their friends, sisters, mothers and daughters, and they come back for more if they can.” The phenomenon, of course, is not really that difficult to describe. It’s called “having an orgasm.” [SA/AFP]

Uh, Wall Street Journal, you wanna explain this one? How Pluto’s demotion will affect astrology? On the front page? There’s really no way around this. You didn’t go talk to the astrologers for a bit of color, you actually made the Pluto article about them. MORE »