Bitches. All you’re trying to do is treat their foot fungus or whatever, and they hold you down and rape you probably, and then they tell you they are on the Pill or something, and then they get your sperm all up in them and it makes a little tiny baby! Obviously it is their […]

UPDATED! CORRECTION BELOW! Perhaps you were alive and sentient and cruising around stupid hack rightwing websites sometime in the last few days when you noticed that they all lost their collective shit because totally un-American (Yellow Peril) Secretary of Energy, Nobel Prize winner, and flat-out adorable munchkin Steven Chu admitted before Congress that he DOES […]

Barely tolerated busy-body Rick Santorum may be running a distant 148th or whatever in Florida, but his website remains a strong competitor for numero uno in terrible ideas. Among the collected abominations is the promise to reduce medical costs by enacting “meaningful medical liability reform.” Okay, ha, no one thinks that would actually help. But […]

Turbo edition ridiculousness machine Newt Gingrich is terminally unable to shut up about his “wait why is this even a fake issue?” theory that America’s disadvantaged students are incurably lazy — first it was elementary school students, and this weekend he delivered a diatribe excoriating the current generation of university students for expecting “free money” […]

The whole debate, in a minute! That’s as much time as anybody should really have to spend thinking about the latest Republican Dimbulb Derby, which was broadcast on Saturday night to an audience of people who were unable to find the remote. At least everybody piled on the fat crying amoral jewelry-debt baby Newt Gingrich, […]

There’s suddenly a whole lot of “bipartisan support” for a supposed anti-piracy law that will actually let the U.S. Government force American Internet providers to shut down all access to any website immediately. Why might that be a popular idea, in Congress, right about now? And why are these anti-government Republicans like Congressman Lamar Smith […]

Rick Perry had a grand idea, just days before Muslim Terrorists attacked the United States on 9/11/01: Mexico could join together with the United States to provide free socialized health care for everyone, Mexican and Texan alike! This is how Rick Perry spent the days before 9/11, trying to give our capitalist freedom to a […]

Upon learning that family-values hero Mark Souder had resigned from Congress after admitting his extramarital abstinence, the marriage-sanctifying gals at Concerned Women for America — the Western Hemisphere’s most important public policy women’s organization, after Curves — were in despair, about men. Ultimately they put down their tissues down, though, and brought forth a proclamation […]

Tracy Jackson, you have made very poor choices in life. You are pretty and reasonably young. And yet you *allegedly* let this gross old Jesus Freak Republican Family Values Congressman climb all over you and hump on you. Also, Tracy Jackson, Fox News reports that you are *also* married. UPDATE: Oh you think you can […]

Hahaha: “The owner of Faces, the club where [California state Senator Roy] Ashburn reportedly was hanging out before his arrest, told CBS 13 that he can’t confirm whether Ashburn was there Tuesday night because the club was packed with 400 patrons for a Latin drag queen beauty pageant.” Also, the openly gay mayor of West […]

IRAQ  11:23 am March 9, 2007

Daily Briefing: Pride Only Hurts

by Ken Layne