How to describe the music playing in the background here? It’s hold music, isn’t it, like what you hear while you wait 20 minutes to speak with a Capital One representative? Or is it what you hear piped in while you’re waiting for your 40-minute “Shiatsu” massage in one of those mall massage chains? Perhaps it’s the soundtrack of thousands of Vietnamese nail salons across the US. Whatever it is, it is INAPPROPRIATE for a humorless DNC ad about how Republicans are “hypocrites” for voting for a Republican president’s budget but not a Democratic one’s. Such a serious occasion obviously calls for Barber’s Adagio for Strings. [YouTube]

No clue who this person is, but yeah, it’s happened. You knew this article would be written eventually, or maybe you didn’t, because of the lack of sense being made. Basically this lady wrote speeches for George H.W. Bush and loved attending the secret media Gridiron Club dinner, then, but now Barack Obama has declined that invitation while accepting an invitation to this televised clown program. She seems to think that his appearance on Leno will be as a stand-up comic… but that’s not really how it’ll work, Miss Lady? You know? [US News]

Liberals, don’t you just hate them! The worst kind of liberal is one who earns a big salary. Hypocrites! It is completely impossible to both make a decent living and have Liberal Views about the government’s role in society. Sure, go do cocaine in your limousine, then try saying you support health care for disadvantaged kids. MOONBATS! Anyway, once again The Politico has SEIZED THE MORNING and BUGGERED THE NEWS CYCLE and brutally punished the POWER EQUATION with the shocking revelation that college-professor Barack Obama was supported by other college professors, including some well-known scholars and scientists who, hypocritically, make low-six-figure salaries working for America’s better universities. [Gawker]

• JOHN McCAIN HAS A GAY MANAGER OR WHATEVER: So this guy Mark Buse, John McCain’s chief of staff, is allegedly gay, like every other chief of staff on the Hill. NOBODY CARES. [The Gist]

This is the debut advertisement for a new initiative called DrugDealerCindy.com, launched by a bunch of marijuana cigarette addicts at the group S.A.F.E.R., “Safer Alternative For Enjoyable Recreation.” Ha ha, the first word in your title is also the acronym itself. MORE »

Politico’s Ben Smith has posted a HIT PIECE on Barack Obama today, calling him a FRAUD, who is CONSCIOUS of IMAGE. Two Muslim women, apparently, were supposed to stand behind Obama’s podium at his big Al Gore Rally in Detroit on Monday. They each were wearing “Muslim headscarves,” however, and since Barack Obama must not ever be near any known Muslims, his campaign volunteers wouldn’t allow the two gals behind the podium after all. So now we’ve got one of those Old Politics/New Politics/Hypocrisy things on our hands. MORE »

For a few sad weeks in March, beloved Clinton advisor Mark Penn mysteriously disappeared. We expected Hillary was loaning herself another $5 million to keep Penn chained up someplace quiet with a large collection of porn and snack foods. But in fact new reports tell us he has been meeting with the Colombian ambassador to discuss a bilateral free-trade agreement … which his boss Hillary Clinton opposes. Next thing you know he will be meeting with the CANADIANS to talk about how much he secretly loves Nafta. MORE »

Actor Paul Newman emailed us this morning with a written version of this message, begging us to contribute to the Democratic Senatorial Campaign Committee to help keep the Senate in the hands of the Democrats. Paul told me (and you, in the video) “We’ve got to preserve and strengthen our Senate majority in 2008, and the best way to do that is by supporting the DSCC. ” I guess that’s why Opensecrets.org and the Federal Election Commission records show that the only Senatorial candidate Newman has contributed to this cycle is Al Franken, though he’s maxed out to the Presidential campaigns of Obama, Clinton and Dodd (which limits his ability to contribute to other Senate Democrats). Um, Paul, maybe before you tell me why it’s soooo damn important that I contribute to the DSCC you should try giving to a couple more Senate Democrats yourself? Kthnxbi.