Barack Obama is so very fancy that he has three names instead of two or even just one, like Madonna, and like the socialist Muslin alien he is, he will insist on reciting all three of his names in a Klingon-Arabic patois when he is sworn in on Thomas Jefferson’s Koran. This is an extremely disturbing development, especially given that the last socialist sworn into office — Jimmy Carter — only used two names in accordance with his status as a common prole. MORE »

The December issue of The Atlantic hits newsstands across the galaxy November 20th, within which Andrew Sullivan has penned his pseudo-hyped first cover story for the magazine since leaving Time earlier this year. Congrats, Andy! And way to be modest and not horribly self-indulgent. For example, check out this nuanced approach to the upcoming election: “It is a war about war–and about culture and about religion and about race. And in that war, Obama–and Obama alone–offers the possibility of a truce.” Yikes! MORE »