Tag Archives: hurricanes

  Rick Management

Florida State Senators Taunt Emergency Chief: You Ain’t Allowed To Say ‘Climate Change’!

love the audience reaction here
Florida’s Senate had entirely too much fun taunting Gov. Rick Scott’s head of emergency management last week, trying to get Bryan Koon to say the words “climate change,” which, as we all know, is a Banned Word of Power in Florida’s executive branch these days. And who can blame them? Who wouldn’t love the chance to make the guy squirm, knowing that he has orders — even though of course Scott says there’s no ban on the words. Really? Then why won’t you say those words, Mr. Koon? You know the words. SAY THE WORDS. Read more on Florida State Senators Taunt Emergency Chief: You Ain’t Allowed To Say ‘Climate Change’!…
  Revenge Of The Sea Level

FEMA To States: You Want Cash? Say Climate Change Is Real. SAY IT!

No Disaster Preparedness Funds for you!
In an elegant reply to politicians who aren’t scientists but don’t mind ignoring experts who are, the Federal Emergency Management Agency has come up with a simple solution: States whose governors decide there’s no need to plan for the consequences of a changing climate will no longer qualify for federal grants for emergency preparedness. For climate deniers like Louisiana’s Bobby Jindal, Florida’s Rick Scott, or Texas’s Greg Abbott, it’s a pretty clear opportunity for them to put their coastlines and their populations where their mouths are. Governors who refuse to consider climate in their states’ hazard mitigation plans could lose hundreds of millions of dollars in FEMA money. Read more on FEMA To States: You Want Cash? Say Climate Change Is Real. SAY IT!…
  that ain't no way to treat a low pressure system

Science Spotlight: Maybe If They Named The Lady Hurricanes ‘Lorena’

Researchers at the University of Illinois released a study that suggests that people are just plain sexist when it comes to hurricanes: Hurricanes with feminine names may kill three times as many victims because people do not perceive them as being as threatening as storms named after men, scientists said Monday […] “A hurricane with a relatively masculine name is estimated to cause 15.15 deaths, whereas a hurricane with a relatively feminine name is estimated to cause 41.84 deaths,” said the study. “In other words, our model suggests that changing a severe hurricane’s name from Charley to Eloise could nearly triple its death toll.” Isn’t science neat? Maybe? Read more on Science Spotlight: Maybe If They Named The Lady Hurricanes ‘Lorena’…
  just scratching the tip of the rapidly melting iceberg

Wingnuts And The Crazy Things They Said About Science: Let Us Review 2013 And Weep For The Planet

The end of another year is upon us, worthly Wonkette scum. Another year in the books of us reading terrible things about terrible people and then writing about them in joke form for your entertainment, if one can call misanthropic snark about utter morons entertaining. You are all masochists, obviously, and leading you through the feverish and diseased minds of the wingnuts has been a joyless slog for us. So what better way to mark the end of 2013 than with a look back at some of the terribly dumb and inaccurate statements made about science and medicine that we remarked upon as we trampled through the saw grass and muck of the swamps on the American right? Come, let us reminisce together. Read more on Wingnuts And The Crazy Things They Said About Science: Let Us Review 2013 And Weep For The Planet…
  today in capitalism

A Children’s Treasury of CEOs Throwing Very Grown-Up Tantrums Over Obamacare

If we were the CEO of a multi-billion dollar company, we would happily make ten cents less per unit in order to make sure that our employees have health care coverage. This would be DOUBLY true if we were the CEO of a multi-billion dollar company in the food industry, given that we would not want our employees coming to work sick and touching all the food with their germ-infested hands and then giving the germ-infested food to our customers. But this attitude is probably why we are not the CEO of a multi-billion dollar company, because duh you don’t get rich by giving away ten cents so that your employees can get chemotherapy when they have cancer. Here is a lesson on capitalism and profitability courtesy four companies that refuse — REFUSE — to make sure that their employees are not handling your food with their tubercular hands. Unless of course, someone is willing to pay the price. They have standards, you see! And principles! And those principles say that by God, they aren’t going to adjust profits or prices by ten cents per unit so that their employees can get health care. Read more on A Children’s Treasury of CEOs Throwing Very Grown-Up Tantrums Over Obamacare…
  tales of epic trolling

Cool Republican Bro Had Fun Spreading Dumb Fake Hurricane Rumors Last Night

Good morning, New Yorkers! We hope that you are reading these words right now, because that means you have power and Internet access and probably are in your own home, which we sincerely hope is not soggy and gross! Last night was pretty bad for New York, but we know that not everyone can be out protecting the public or repairing downed power lines or carrying sick babies to safety, so many were at a loss as to how to conduct themselves in this treacherous hour. Some read, or dicked around on the Internet, or Instagrammed pictures of destruction, while others, including an extremely minor GOP NYC luminary who went by ComfortablySmug on Twitter, just stone cold spread a bunch of fake rumors about storm damage, for kicks. Read more on Cool Republican Bro Had Fun Spreading Dumb Fake Hurricane Rumors Last Night…
  vengeance is mine sayeth the lord

God Due To ‘Stand His Ground’ Against Tampa’s Republican Convention, With Hurricane Maybe

Everybody panic! Some dude at Examiner.com looked at a bunch of funny gifs of a maybe-hurricane and decided it might hit Tampa (and your Editrix!) just in time for the RNC! Where will we shelter from the possible storm? Probably a titty bar. But far more important than whether or not we (by which we mean “I”) are murdered by the vengeful weather is what could have angered the deity to call down this Old Testament (it is even named Isaac, we think?) smiting: Read more on God Due To ‘Stand His Ground’ Against Tampa’s Republican Convention, With Hurricane Maybe…
  letters to the editor

Louisiana: Wikipedia Pages Prank; Lobbyist: Wonkette Has No Ethics

Tuesday, while your Wonkette was working to bring the world “important” hilarious news about the pathetic Sarah Palin “Lou Sarah” account, we also threw up an account of somebody visiting the Louisiana Capitol building and finding a statue of the state’s first governor accompanied by a framed print-out of the governor’s Wikipedia entry. Apparently this became an issue in that state that is best known for hurricanes hating it and for its current governor hating volcano safety, because we had a lot of Louisianans visiting this site to leave us angry comments. Now, after an investigation, the state House of Representatives says somebody broke into the thing next to the statue, pulled out the original biography, and stuck in the two Wikipedia pages. And some random Louisiana lobbyist is giving us a lecture about ethics because we didn’t fly to Louisiana with our pal Encyclopedia Brown and investigate the matter ourselves. Read more on Louisiana: Wikipedia Pages Prank; Lobbyist: Wonkette Has No Ethics…
  it's morning in america

Financial Regulation To Pass … Now? Now? How About Now?

Financial regulation was dead yesterday, but today it is alive again, just like Jesus! And speaking of things or people who are like Jesus, we have Scott Brown to thank for this turn of events. All Barney Frank and his fellow Sadducees had to do to win the love of Brown and the New England RINO ladies was take out the tax on big banks and hedge funds, raise the FDIC’s reserve ratio, and end TARP early. Those sound like incredibly minor details that can be just added in last-minute negotiations, surely. Read more on Financial Regulation To Pass … Now? Now? How About Now?… Read more on Financial Regulation To Pass … Now? Now? How About Now?…
  secret service hello??

Mean Old Hurricane Bill Trying To Kill Obama

The festering hot death-waters of the tropical south Atlantic Ocean are trying, as is their annual ritual, to kill the humans with their hurricanes. And this one, Hurricane Bill, is a real heifer. Category 4! According to this important Weather.com projected path, Bill will strike the coast of Massachusetts sometime this Sunday. And according to the much less important Politico, Obama is expected to start his family vacation in Martha’s Vineyard — ALLEGEDLY OFF THE COAST OF MASSACHUSETTS — on “August 23,” which a few back-of-the-envelope calculations reveal to be the same thing as “this Sunday.” Why is racist Hurricane Bill planning to kill Barack Obama? Is this a money/ransom thing? [Weather.com, Glenn Thrush] Read more on Mean Old Hurricane Bill Trying To Kill Obama…
  death and destruction

Back To Your Regularly Scheduled Hurricanes

Good Morning, America! Did you love your two weeks of political conventions and soaring (or lame) rhetoric? No? Well, Allah has a treat for you! A million more hurricanes are headed to America, to kill everyone. Hanna will destroy wealthy white coastal regions of Georgia and North Carolina and Florida. [AP, CNN] Read more on Back To Your Regularly Scheduled Hurricanes…
 

Rudy Collapse Continues To Get Funnier

This guy, Giuliani. I’m going to be sad when he gets third or fourth or ninth or whatever in Florida, a.k.a. “Rudy Country,” as Rudy named it. He’ll probably have to drop out or something when he loses, and that means an end to the constant development of new ways to reference 9/11. Here’s a notable line from a New York Times piece this morning: “On Tuesday he suggested that Florida with its hurricanes and New York with its terrorist attacks are brothers in disaster.” Hey Rudy — I have nothing to eat for lunch, does that mean we are brothers in disaster too? [New York Times] Read more on Rudy Collapse Continues To Get Funnier…
 

Rudy Looking To Win Porn Star Hurricane Vote In Florida

newVideoPlayer("Rudy_FloridaAd_Snapper.flv", 475, 376,"");Rudy’s new ad isn’t quite Mike Gravel-strange, but it is very terrible. Floridians, who get shat on yearly by devastating monster storms from the sea, enjoy few things more than doctored horror images of their crumbling houses and forsaken livelihoods. One of these few things, however, is when ’70s porn music soundtracks said horror images. Rudy really does have a death fetish, doesn’t he? [Rudy Giuliani] Read more on Rudy Looking To Win Porn Star Hurricane Vote In Florida…
 

Al Gore Will Have His Revenge On Florida

Guess what just popped up in the Gulf of Mexico on the first day of Hurricane Season 2007. That’s right, a tropical storm named “Barry Hussein Obama.” And guess where it’s headed. Read more on Al Gore Will Have His Revenge On Florida…
 

Daily Briefing: New Poll Finds Poll Results Ambiguous

NYT/CBS poll finds “marked disenchantment with Congress” with only 25% of respondents approving of them. 25% is also the number of people who think Bush is “mostly lying when talking about the war.” [NYT] Read more on Daily Briefing: New Poll Finds Poll Results Ambiguous…
 

Daily Briefing: Some Say This World of Trouble Is The Only One We Need

Parades, prayer, music mark Katrina anniversary. Bush admits “government at all levels that fell short of its responsibilities.” [WP, NYT] Rumsfeld gives speech calling Iraq war “a series of catastrophes that results in victory,” demands Americans’ unwavering support for more catastrophes. [WP, NYT] Read more on Daily Briefing: Some Say This World of Trouble Is The Only One We Need…
 

Daily Briefing: Katrina, Ernesto, and AIDS

“Rolling Hurricane Revue” tour heads to Mississippi and Louisiana to mark today’s one year anniversary of Katrina. Blame game still on, reconstruction in MS faring better than LA. [WP, NYT] Tropical Storm Ernesto is weak, but FEMA Director David Paulison’s “No More Fuckups” doctrine has an army of personnel in Florida. [CNN] Read more on Daily Briefing: Katrina, Ernesto, and AIDS…
 

Daily Briefing: Planes, ‘Canes, and Shiny Gold Things

Bush still kicking himself for not standing in the Katrina rubble with a bullhorn. [NYT] On anniversary of Katrina, Gulf Coast to receive massive influx of administration officials touting successful reconstruction efforts, “despite visual evidence suggesting otherwise.” [NYT] Read more on Daily Briefing: Planes, ‘Canes, and Shiny Gold Things…
 

Daily Briefing: Don’t Just Do Something, Sit There

The administration moves to reclassify sensitive information on the US’s nuclear arsenal, like how many missiles we had in the 1960’s. [WP] European nations delay committing peacekeeping troops to Lebanon, play hot potato between giant international bureaucracies. [NYT] Read more on Daily Briefing: Don’t Just Do Something, Sit There…
 

Rumors on the Internets: Expect the Expected

* The ABA likes its lawyers all white and WASPy. [The Volokh Conspiracy] * Texas just might lasso the next hurricane camped in the Gulf. [Off the Kuff] * Cross-multiply, carry the 1 . . . yeah, it’s more like 1.9 million children left behind. [Captain’s Quarters] * Gore in ’08: Pink Lungs For All. [Crooks and Liars] * What do we want?! Less skewed and sensational presentation of news events! When do we want it?! Eh, slot it after Nancy Grace. [Eschaton] Read more on Rumors on the Internets: Expect the Expected…