Mean Old Hurricane Bill Trying To Kill Obama
Wednesday, August 19th, 2009
The festering hot death-waters of the tropical south Atlantic Ocean are trying, as is their annual ritual, to kill the humans with their hurricanes. And this one, Hurricane Bill, is a real heifer. Category 4! According to this important Weather.com projected path, Bill will strike the coast of Massachusetts sometime this Sunday. And according to the much less important Politico, Obama is expected to start his family vacation in Martha’s Vineyard — ALLEGEDLY OFF THE COAST OF MASSACHUSETTS — on “August 23,” which a few back-of-the-envelope calculations reveal to be the same thing as “this Sunday.” Why is racist Hurricane Bill planning to kill Barack Obama? Is this a money/ransom thing? [Weather.com, Glenn Thrush]











Good Morning, America! Did you love your two weeks of political conventions and soaring (or lame) rhetoric? No? Well, Allah has a treat for you! A million more hurricanes are headed to America, to kill everyone. Hanna will destroy wealthy white coastal regions of Georgia and North Carolina and Florida. [
This guy, Giuliani. I’m going to be sad when he gets third or fourth or ninth or whatever in Florida, a.k.a. “Rudy Country,” as Rudy named it. He’ll probably have to drop out or something when he loses, and that means an end to the constant development of new ways to reference 9/11. Here’s a notable line from a New York Times piece this morning: “On Tuesday he suggested that Florida with its hurricanes and New York with its terrorist attacks are brothers in disaster.” Hey Rudy — I have nothing to eat for lunch, does that mean we are brothers in disaster too? [
Rudy’s new ad isn’t quite Mike Gravel-strange, but it is very terrible. Floridians, who get shat on yearly by devastating monster storms from the sea, enjoy few things more than doctored horror images of their crumbling houses and forsaken livelihoods. One of these few things, however, is when ’70s porn music soundtracks said horror images. Rudy really does have a death fetish, doesn’t he? [