Tag: hurricane sandy

Gracious House Of Representatives To NJ, CT And NY: Fine, Here’s Your Stupid Hurricane Money

Another guest post from your comrade Fakakta South. The House finally voted Tuesday to graciously give out approximately $50.5 billion to the states hit hardest by the freakishly strong Frankenstorm of the Century, Hurricane Sandy. The measure passed with...

Who Is Barack Obama Raping Today, Charles Krauthammer?

Charles Krauthammer, who is Barack Obama raping today? HA TRICK QUESTION! Barack Obama is raping everybody today, because he is raping our treasury, because Hurricane Sandy. (Also, while we are aware it should be "whom is Obama raping," because...

Michelle Malkin Knows Just Who Is To Blame For Withholding Sandy Relief (It Is Obama Duh)

We should stop being surprised when the party of personal responsibility blames EVERYONE ELSE for its own failures, time and time again. But somehow, we are still surprised! Every single time! We should also stop being surprised when Fox...

Hurricane Hypeman Joe Biden Warms Up The East Coast For Your Homeboy Barack Obama

Joe Biden can literally say any fucking thing in the goddamn world, and it does not matter. Said Joey the Biden to Sandy victims to make them feel better and convince them they have a black friend: “So as the...

Romney Staffers Totally Butthurt That Chris Christie Is Too Busy For Their Nonsense

One of the most delightful developments of the past week has been seeing New Jersey Governor Chris Christie get evicted from the Republican Party for the crime of being respectful and grateful (in the wake of a hurricane that...

Cory Booker Will Bring You Some Blankets in His Sexxy New Tumblr

Those shameless libruls are at it again, making jokes about your teenage daughters and black men and THE SEXING. Only this time, these concepts are being strategically interwoven into a new hawt Tumblr, "Cory Booker Hey Girl" (much more...

Donald Trump Finding New And Exciting Ways To Be Ridiculous About Hurricane Sandy

First things first: the lady yelling at Chuck Schumer in the Fox & Friends video below is AMAZING, and obviously did the "Jill" voiceover for the Adam Sandler masterpiece Jack and an Unfortunate Appearance by Al Pacino. Second things...

Stupid Hurricane ‘Victims,’ Let Fox News’ John Stossel Explain Why It Is Awesome To Price Gouge You

Now that Chris Christie has dared to show what used to be the standard amount of deference and respect due to the office of the president, the right wing has pounced on him like Rush Limbaugh on a Dominican...

Fox & Friends: Why Doesn’t NBC’s Hurricane Sandy Telethon Have More People Who Sneer At People Who Need Help?

Well it is obviously Media Matters Day here on your Wonket, as they are our "idiotic Fox & Friends video" go-to, and Fox & Friends is on somewhat of a tear! Now? They're just asking! why NBC would give...

Romney Crowd Will Defeat Hurricanes With Chants Of U-S-A! (Video)

Here is Mitt Romney tryna be all "MESSAGE: WE CARE" when something unexpected happens. A middle-aged white man yells "what about the climate?" (instead of the obviously more important "what about your gaffes") and unfurls a banner explaining, DERR...

Rush Limbaugh Thinks Chris Christie Is A Big Fat Fool

Oh ha ha ha, this is delightful! Two days ago, Chris Christie basically told Romney to go eat a dick because he wasn’t interested in prancing around with Mittens, looking for photo ops, while half of New Jersey’s coastline...

Mitt Romney, With A Week To Think About It: Only A Crazy Person Would Try To Privatize FEMA!

His Lord High Hairgel Mittens of Romney, having had a week to formulate an answer to a rather pertinent question that stupid "reporters" just would not stop asking him, has finally decided what his stance on FEMA is. Are...

Michael Brown On Sandy: Why The Big Hurry? It’s Only A Hurricane, Not Benghazi

Yes, yes, we know: this story, like so much hurricane wreckage, is starting to grow mold already. But let's pause a moment to give incompetent former FEMA director Michael Brown his due: with his insanely stupid suggestion that the...

Megan McCain Wants to Know if Her Party Will Betray God, Acknowledge Existence of Climate Change

Here’s an interesting question: what if one of America’s oldest and greatest cities was covered in ocean water and subjected to a once-in-a-lifetime style weather event because the moon happened to be full when a tropical hurricane drifted north...

Steve King Off Message About GOP’s Specific Plans To Screw Over Disaster Victims

Mitt Romney is the current GOP nominee for president, which means that, for the next six days, he's the head of the Republican party. We're pretty sure that's in the Constitution? Anyway, in the wake of the hurricane that's...

Nanny State RINO New Jersey Governor Chris Christie Cancels Children’s Holiday, Inpeach!

We told you yesterday about the (currently unlinkable!) terrible, horrible things RINO New Jersey Governor Chris Christie said about His Lord High Hairgel Mittens of Romney. (Namely, he told him to eat a dick, and had "no interest" in...