hurricane sandy
Tornado Only The Third-Biggest Bag Of Wind In Oklahoma This Week
Spackle-brained dick weasel Sen. James Inhofe is bad at so many, many things. He does not understand legally defined standards of treatment for prisoners of war. He thinks he understands science better than actual scientists. He is even a shitty pilot. In fact, the only marketable skill James Inhofe possesses is his innate ability to [...]
AP Scoop: Dominican Republic Hookers in Menendez Story Were Not Trustworthy After All
Like a middle-aged man in the grip of a Viagra-fueled sex spree, this whole “Did New Jersey Senator Robert Menendez (D-Sexytimes) Sex Up Some Underage Hookers In The Dominican Republic” story just keeps on keepin’ on! Just to recap: not long before the November election, chipmunk-faced ace reporter Matthew Boyle broke the shocking news that [...]
Senate Approves Sandy Relief, Senate Still Littered With Bastards
The United States Senate voted last night to approve $60 billion in relief for communities affected by Hurricane Sandy — money that was evidently counted by hand, because Hurricane Sandy was three stinking months ago. The vote passed with 62 votes, which is nice because the money can finally go out, but we cannot forget [...]
Gracious House Of Representatives To NJ, CT And NY: Fine, Here’s Your Stupid Hurricane Money
Another guest post from your comrade Fakakta South. The House finally voted Tuesday to graciously give out approximately $50.5 billion to the states hit hardest by the freakishly strong Frankenstorm of the Century, Hurricane Sandy. The measure passed with a vote of 241-180, with 179 Republicans voting against giving any money to anyone ever again [...]
Cory Booker Will Bring You Some Blankets in His Sexxy New Tumblr
Those shameless libruls are at it again, making jokes about your teenage daughters and black men and THE SEXING. Only this time, these concepts are being strategically interwoven into a new hawt Tumblr, “Cory Booker Hey Girl” (much more sneaky than two short weeks ago, when Lena Dunham explained the importance of losing one’s virginity [...]
Donald Trump Finding New And Exciting Ways To Be Ridiculous About Hurricane Sandy
First things first: the lady yelling at Chuck Schumer in the Fox & Friends video below is AMAZING, and obviously did the “Jill” voiceover for the Adam Sandler masterpiece Jack and an Unfortunate Appearance by Al Pacino. Second things second: Noted philanthropist Donald Trump is always good to have around to explain that why would [...]
Stupid Hurricane ‘Victims,’ Let Fox News’ John Stossel Explain Why It Is Awesome To Price Gouge You
Now that Chris Christie has dared to show what used to be the standard amount of deference and respect due to the office of the president, the right wing has pounced on him like Rush Limbaugh on a Dominican hooker. The latest complaint is that he is not allowing oil companies to take advantage of [...]
Fox & Friends: Why Doesn’t NBC’s Hurricane Sandy Telethon Have More People Who Sneer At People Who Need Help?
Well it is obviously Media Matters Day here on your Wonket, as they are our “idiotic Fox & Friends video” go-to, and Fox & Friends is on somewhat of a tear! Now? They’re just asking! why NBC would give Barack Obama such a wet, tonguey blow job by doing … a Hurricane Sandy benefit? Is [...]
Romney Crowd Will Defeat Hurricanes With Chants Of U-S-A! (Video)
Here is Mitt Romney tryna be all “MESSAGE: WE CARE” when something unexpected happens. A middle-aged white man yells “what about the climate?” (instead of the obviously more important “what about your gaffes”) and unfurls a banner explaining, DERR climate change is creating bigger and more dangerous “weather events,” and we will all just have [...]
Rush Limbaugh Thinks Chris Christie Is A Big Fat Fool
Oh ha ha ha, this is delightful! Two days ago, Chris Christie basically told Romney to go eat a dick because he wasn’t interested in prancing around with Mittens, looking for photo ops, while half of New Jersey’s coastline was still underwater. So today, Rush Limbaugh has decreed that Chris Christie is “fat” and a [...]
Mitt Romney, With A Week To Think About It: Only A Crazy Person Would Try To Privatize FEMA!
His Lord High Hairgel Mittens of Romney, having had a week to formulate an answer to a rather pertinent question that stupid “reporters” just would not stop asking him, has finally decided what his stance on FEMA is. Are you ready to guess? Here are your options: He is for it; he is against it; [...]
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