hurricane sandy

We’re going to have to set up some sort of macro template to write about Chris Christie. It can include the words “bridge” and “corruption” and “investigation widens” and “Hurricane Sandy” and so on. The weekend brought news that Christie allegedly (see? no libel there!) blocked Hurricane Sandy aid to Hoboken because Mayor Dawn Zimmer […]

Hey, kids, this looks like some real news, maybe: Did Chris Christie tip his hand in a speech Thursday that he is not going to run for president in 2016? He just mighta! Here’s what Rachel Maddow noticed in a speech Christie gave in Manahawkin, New Jersey, while he was talking about Hurricane Sandy recovery […]

Come one come all! See the incredible Shrinking Governor! Once a monstrous, corpulent troll in appearance as well as demeanor, governor Chris Christie’s stature is diminishing by the minute! Who could have known that an appalling surgical procedure intended to control the governor’s bacchanalian appetites would also foreshadow the evaporation of his credibility? Come one […]

Chris Christie has released his first wave of campaign ads for the 2016 presidential elections! Oh no wait, no, these are not campaign ads, they are Jersey Shore tourism ads, can’t you tell? They are public service ads to promote tourism! Because everybody wants to go to a beach full of Chris Christies. That’s why […]

OK to be totally honest, we’d pretty much completely forgotten about Mitt Romney. Sure, Mittens gave us some high comedy like binders full of women and we couldn’t get enough of his failed attempts to behave as a human, but he just became a misty water-colored memory months ago. But – we were wrong to […]

Is “Snooki” still even a thing? We guess maybe Snooki is still a thing. We mean, sure, she’s got a pulse and all, which is good for her, don’t get us wrong. But even as a punchline, isn’t she well past her sell-by date? Even for Political Savant Jay Leno? But apparently she is still […]

Spackle-brained dick weasel Sen. James Inhofe is bad at so many, many things. He does not understand legally defined standards of treatment for prisoners of war. He thinks he understands science better than actual scientists. He is even a shitty pilot. In fact, the only marketable skill James Inhofe possesses is his innate ability to […]

Like a middle-aged man in the grip of a Viagra-fueled sex spree, this whole “Did New Jersey Senator Robert Menendez (D-Sexytimes) Sex Up Some Underage Hookers In The Dominican Republic” story just keeps on keepin’ on! Just to recap: not long before the November election, chipmunk-faced ace reporter Matthew Boyle broke the shocking news that […]

The United States Senate voted last night to approve $60 billion in relief for communities affected by Hurricane Sandy — money that was evidently counted by hand, because Hurricane Sandy was three stinking months ago. The vote passed with 62 votes, which is nice because the money can finally go out, but we cannot forget […]

Another guest post from your comrade Fakakta South. The House finally voted Tuesday to graciously give out approximately $50.5 billion to the states hit hardest by the freakishly strong Frankenstorm of the Century, Hurricane Sandy. The measure passed with a vote of 241-180, with 179 Republicans voting against giving any money to anyone ever again […]

Charles Krauthammer, who is Barack Obama raping today? HA TRICK QUESTION! Barack Obama is raping everybody today, because he is raping our treasury, because Hurricane Sandy. (Also, while we are aware it should be “whom is Obama raping,” because the rapee is the object of Barack Obama’s raping, well, in this one instance we just […]

We should stop being surprised when the party of personal responsibility blames EVERYONE ELSE for its own failures, time and time again. But somehow, we are still surprised! Every single time! We should also stop being surprised when Fox News decides that it can present a completely opposite vision of reality with a totally straight […]

Joe Biden can literally say any fucking thing in the goddamn world, and it does not matter. Said Joey the Biden to Sandy victims to make them feel better and convince them they have a black friend: “So as the president said when he was up here with the governor, we’re not going anywhere. We’re […]

One of the most delightful developments of the past week has been seeing New Jersey Governor Chris Christie get evicted from the Republican Party for the crime of being respectful and grateful (in the wake of a hurricane that devastated his state) to the president of the United States, who is a known black person. […]

Those shameless libruls are at it again, making jokes about your teenage daughters and black men and THE SEXING. Only this time, these concepts are being strategically interwoven into a new hawt Tumblr, “Cory Booker Hey Girl” (much more sneaky than two short weeks ago, when Lena Dunham explained the importance of losing one’s virginity […]