Wonkette

There is only one thing that makes our lovable “vice” president smile: killing animals. (Killing people just makes him smirk.) MORE »

* Barbara Mikulski and Patrick Leahy tell Alberto Gonzales not to speak until spoken too. [WP, NYT]
* Josh Bolten is just as conservative, but way smarter than any Texan. [WP]
* Put your guns in the ground Mitt Romney, you can’t use them anymore. [WP, NYT]
* Oh, that Adam Putnam, such a wily young ginger. [WP]
* The Nantucket and Cape Cod summer crowds steal Agriculture Department money meant for people in legitimately poor, rural areas. [WP]
* Bitter about your student loans? You should be. [NYT]
* David Brody isn’t blogging for Pat Robertson, he’s blogging for Jesus. [LAT]

Mitt Romney, a rich liberal who lives in Massachusetts, has a problem: he wants to be the Republican nominee for President, but he’s barely ever killed anything. MORE »

Above, presidential candidate Mike Huckabee and his faithful dog Old Dan, armed to to teeth and ready to fight America’s most deadly foe: turkeys. MORE »

George W. read some jokes at the “Alfalfa Club” dinner on Saturday, and it really shows he can laugh at the smoking ruins of the nation he destroyed and the monsters he set loose upon the Earth. Some of his comedy gold, courtesy of the WaPo: MORE »

* Henry Paulson and Rob Portman have been “unleashed” on Democrats who’re loud-mouthing about deficit reduction. [WP]
* Democrats thumping Bible on march to political center. [NYT]
* New “Sportsman’s Alliance” conservation group to advocate wildlife habitats be kept as pristine places to stroll about blasting animals with shotguns. [WP]
* Wayne Allard plans the work, works the plan, and marks the wall to count the days til he’s just scheduling tee times. [WP, NYT]
* President Bush maintains that law enforcement has the authority to look into exactly when and where terror suspects saved 39 cents on garlic hummus and triscuits. [WP]
* Interior Department Mineral Manager Johnnie Burton isn’t quite “perfect at everything.” [NYT]
* Condi’s looking forward to a threesome next month. [LAT]
* MLK day was inspirational for Russell Simmons, who now has an idea for a great new reality show. [NYT]

More updates to the Naval Observatory dead deer shocker!

A tipster grabbed these two cell phone pictures of the poor massacred beast, which is still decomposing on the grounds of the Cheney Compound. Where did it come from? Who killed it? Nobody knows.

New York Daily News gossips Rush and Molloy picked up our [EXCLUSIVE MUST CREDIT WONKETTE] story and called Cheney’s office for comment. They received a chilling non-denial denial that our Vice President had shot the animal himself (or possibly strangled it with his bare hands).

The DC cops remind us that you’re not supposed to hunt in Washington, because we’re not even allowed to have guns.

Update: Another, bigger picture, after the jump! It’s still there!

Veep’s Home: The Buck Stops Here [NYDN]
Earlier: Dick Cheney Kills By Night
Dick Cheney’s Xmas House of Horrors

MORE »

Here’s a double-breaking update to this morning’s outrage at the Vice President’s Official Residence:

I read the piece on the dead deer in front of the Naval Observatory. I saw it too. I was walking to work and tried my best to look away. It is a mystery why it was there so long. Wouldn’t the Secret Service have removed it? Sorry I didn’t get a picture.

Yeah, we’re sorry too! More intrigue, after the jump.

MORE »

More mysteries from deep within the Cheney Compound, courtesy an anonymous tipster: MORE »

Conrad Burns is finished, but his proud western old-crazy-guy values live on in the horrifying form of Pietro “Pete” Vichi Domenici, currently scaring the bejesus out of Hill staffers. Roll Call reports:

We had a number of reports Friday that Sen. Pete Domenici (R-N.M.) was wandering the halls of Senate office buildings in his jammies.

But don’t worry. The 74-year-old New Mexico senator says they’re just “hunting pants,” with “two pockets like any else.” MORE »