Accountability’s the name of the game here at Wonkette. That’s why we were so excited to learn about the President’s Management Agenda, in which government employees are obligated to prove that their programs are worth their cost to taxpayers. It comes, as all good Agendas do, with a handy website: expectmore.gov, wherein you can find the whole list of programs that ought to be “eliminated and/or trimmed back.” First Draft did the necessary research (we have a policy against visiting government websites that aren’t intended for children or that don’t feature human-animal hybrids) and found a fun sampling of the government programs we can clearly do without. Some unnecessary wastes of your hard-earned cash include: MORE »

• Current Human-Animal Hybrid alert level: Elevated. [jesseberney.com]

• As soon as they sold out to the Post, we knew they’d sell out to the NSA (who, it seems, also have a kids page — have any government officials ever met a child?). [Washingtonian]
• The Department of Justice is addicted to oil. Also, they got the day off. [DCist]
• “Wolf and Jack” sounds like some sort of biracial late-’60s buddy movie, right? [FishbowlDC]

Throughout the day, we’ve delivered celebrity sightings of Bob Novak, that human-animal hybrid; more Supreme Court justices than you can shake a stick at; and the man that everyone’s talking about, Jack Abramoff.

Now we bring you an added bonus: a sighting of a possible future POTUS, Senator John McCain!

Sitting in National, waiting to catch the shuttle flight to NYC, when McCain sits down in front of me. Multiple people keep coming up to him to talk. A woman in her mid 50’s comes up and says, “Why, Senator McCain, you are so much better
looking in person!” McCain says thank you.

As she leaves, I lean in and say, “Senator, I know how hard it is to be so devilishly good looking.” McCain starts cracking up, and I continue by saying, “I’m glad that worked — it was that or a Jack Abramoff
joke!”

The laughing stops; McCain proceeds to raise his paper over his face. I get up and walk away.

Good stuff! And the fun’s not over yet. Go the jump page — click on that pointing finger — for sightings of such boldface names as Susan Collins, Tony Williams, Mark Warner, Karl Rove, Joe Lockhart, Paul Begala, Bill Frist, and many more!

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Michael Chertoff knows that children are our future. That why he wants to scare the shit out of them with the Department of Homeland Security’s new just-fer-kidz preparedness campaign “Ready Kids” (cute font, etc.). MORE »

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The President visited the Grand Ole Opry yesterday to follow up on some of points made in Tuesday’s speech (we’d like to you know that we handily beat a small child in a footrace just this afternoon as our contribution to the new Competitiveness Initiative). His impromptu remarks took a bit of an unfortunate turn, though: MORE »

Cindy Sheehan pops it like its hot MORE »

This is why we love the internet. MORE »

If you’re reading this, you’re probably not a member of the Christian Right. So we thought we’d help you catch up on a couple things you missed. Don’t blame yourself if you didn’t catch these — the coded language of the moral majority grows more complex every year. MORE »

Seriously, shouldn’t the Democratic Response have been Governor Kaine just saying, “WTF, Mr. President?”