Tag: hugo chavez

Barack Obama Pretty Sure Dumb Ol’ Sarah Palin To Blame For Rise Of Donald Trump

Barry Bamz Obama did a very good interview with New York Magazine. Click here for the CliffsNotes version!
Middle seat, too. Never fails.

Lady-Douche Professor Is Your New Revolutionary Thoreau, By Being A Dick On An Airplane

Some people just don't handle the stress of commercial air travel well. If you're an emotionally wrecked drunken racist, you might slap a little baby for crying. If you're an overstressed pilot, you may start ranting about Afghanistan and...

Joe Biden Pretty Sure He’s Not Trying To Become King Of Venezuela

News from Overseas! Or a really long drive South, at least. The White House is categorically denying that Old Handsome Joe Biden tried to overthrow the government of Venezuela, no matter how many sad breakup songs Venezuelan President Nicolas...

Diaper Fetishist And Rancid Chickenhawk Boil Unite To Defeat Some Mexican

Ok before we even start: we are not anti-diaper-fetishists, because we are catholic, not Catholic, in our views about how you get your sexytime on. We are, however, anti-diaper-fetishists who are also morality police for other people's sexytime, so...

Very Not-Dumb Texas Rep. Louie Gohmert Introduces Bill To Place Obama Under House Arrest

Howdy pardner! Don't know if you done heard, but we got us a see-quester goin' on, and that means we ain't got no cashish for thangs like White House Tours. So Pres'dent Bama, he said, well we will stop...

Breaking News Drudge Siren Red Alert And Such: Fidel Castro Still Not Dead

The New York Times reports that Fidel Castro is still alive, and will outlive every other current and former "presidente" on the planet. In addition, no American diplomats have been ousted from the island nation, or even from any...

Hugo Chavez Demands to Know If United States Gave Him Cancer

In case you ever wonder to yourself, as a dark thought experiment, what it sounds like when someone as profoundly paranoid and insane as Michele Bachmann actually ends up as a head of state, you get hilarious newz reports...

WikiLeaks: ‘Making Socialism Easier To Swallow’ To Win Obama 2nd Term

Per the latest batch of WikiLeaks, a cable from Caracas, Venezuela was sent to Washington in January entitled "Making Socialism Easier to Swallow." WHY WAS THIS SENT? OUR TAX DOLLARS ARE BEING SPENT STUDYING SOCIALISM TO PICK UP TIPS...

Hugo Chavez Sings To Hillary Clinton

Venezuela is a socialist paradise where the red-shirted workers gather each night to enjoy cocktails and music with their host/leader, Hugo Chavez. On Wednesday night, in celebration of "Hump Day" and how much he dislikes the evil imperialist Hillary...

Fox News Smells A Stinky Oil Conspiracy

Matt Yglesias is reaping the many benefits of "blogging whilst standing" -- a yoga position championed by Donald Rumsfeld. A squadron of Eliot Ness Zombies raided a bar in Philly and confiscated a bunch of microbrew IPAs and a...

JIM DEMINT IS THE REAL MISS SOUTH CAROLINA: South Carolina Senator Jim DeMint has written a new book about Hitler/Obama and the Iran and, uh, the South American countries and like such as: "Part of what we're trying to...

Meet Sir Arthur Conan Doyle, Guest Editor of RedState

Barack Obama and Bundesrepublik Deutschland Wurstdame Angela Merkel had an awkward relationship in the '80s, but now they are willing to put the past behind them and cut a deal. Prediction: Merkel gets AIG and Obama gets to massage...

Mexican Archeology Museum Director Killed by Pneumonia Entertained Obama At Same Museum

Here's some terrifying news: While the U.S. media was focused on the very important subject of some fat wingnuts having teabagging protests in America, President Barack Obama was headed to Mexico -- and on the night of April 16,...

Fox Analyst Wonders, Did Obama And Chavez Do *More* Insane Gay Things Off-Camera?

There's a lovely amount of right-wing hysteria on the Internets today regarding this weekend's news that Barack Obama shook Hugo Chavez's hand and talked to him for a bit at their little Mexican summit last week. This proved again...

Whoa Hey John McCain Half-Misspeaks Whoa Hey

Libtards are giggling like rich schoolgirls on acid over this one. Along the lines of, JOHN MCCAIN DOES NOT KNOW THAT VENEZUELA ISN'T IN THE MIDDLE EAST! Can you even believe it oh my god blah blah blah. Whatever....

Larry Craig Wants To Jerk Your Gas Nozzle

Here's Idaho Senior Senator Larry Craig describing a handjob he gave Hugo Chavez gayly saying we can't let foreign dictators "jerk us around by the gas nozzle" doing both of the things we've crossed out. Note the flailing hands....