hugo chavez

WE SHOULD PROBABLY GO AHEAD AND ABOLISH THE LABOR DEPARTMENT 4:45 pm March 18, 2013

Diaper Fetishist And Rancid Chickenhawk Boil Unite To Defeat Some Mexican

Ok before we even start: we are not anti-diaper-fetishists, because we are catholic, not Catholic, in our views about how you get your sexytime on. We are, however, anti-diaper-fetishists who are also morality police for other people’s sexytime, so don’t hatetweet us, bro. We give no such caveat re: chickenhawks. Fuck those guys. Yes, it’s [...]

COUP D'ETAT COUP D'ETAT! 12:00 pm March 6, 2013

Very Not-Dumb Texas Rep. Louie Gohmert Introduces Bill To Place Obama Under House Arrest

by Rebecca Schoenkopf

Howdy pardner! Don’t know if you done heard, but we got us a see-quester goin’ on, and that means we ain’t got no cashish for thangs like White House Tours. So Pres’dent Bama, he said, well we will stop this here tour from happenin’ until the see-quester is lifted, because a some reason, who knows. [...]

BREITBART AND FRANCO ON THE OTHER HAND 6:29 pm March 5, 2013

Breaking News Drudge Siren Red Alert And Such: Fidel Castro Still Not Dead

by Rebecca Schoenkopf

The New York Times reports that Fidel Castro is still alive, and will outlive every other current and former “presidente” on the planet.

LATIN AMERICA DESK 4:33 pm December 29, 2011

Hugo Chavez Demands to Know If United States Gave Him Cancer

by Kirsten Boyd Johnson

In case you ever wonder to yourself, as a dark thought experiment, what it sounds like when someone as profoundly paranoid and insane as Michele Bachmann actually ends up as a head of state, you get hilarious newz reports about your president like this one: A day after officials announced the cancer diagnosis of Argentina’s [...]

THE TORTILLA PLOT 10:56 am December 10, 2010

WikiLeaks: ‘Making Socialism Easier To Swallow’ To Win Obama 2nd Term

by Jack Stuef

Per the latest batch of WikiLeaks, a cable from Caracas, Venezuela was sent to Washington in January entitled “Making Socialism Easier to Swallow.” WHY WAS THIS SENT? OUR TAX DOLLARS ARE BEING SPENT STUDYING SOCIALISM TO PICK UP TIPS ON HOW TO DO IT. Obviously, as this was sent to Hillary Clinton, or “RUEHC/SECSTATE WASHDC [...]

TE QUIERO ... TE ADORO ... MI VIDA 10:40 am June 11, 2010

Hugo Chavez Sings To Hillary Clinton

by Ken Layne

Venezuela is a socialist paradise where the red-shirted workers gather each night to enjoy cocktails and music with their host/leader, Hugo Chavez. On Wednesday night, in celebration of “Hump Day” and how much he dislikes the evil imperialist Hillary Clinton, Hugo just cold made up a song and sang it, and here it is. [Mediaite/BBC [...]

RUMORS ON THE INTERNETS 4:22 pm May 4, 2010

Fox News Smells A Stinky Oil Conspiracy

by Riley Waggaman

Matt Yglesias is reaping the many benefits of “blogging whilst standing” — a yoga position championed by Donald Rumsfeld. [Matt Yglesias] A squadron of Eliot Ness Zombies raided a bar in Philly and confiscated a bunch of microbrew IPAs and a keg of Miller Genuine Draft Light 64. [Hit & Run] Does a Grey Poupon [...]

STILL BETTER THAN DENBY'S 1:52 pm July 9, 2009

by Jim Newell

JIM DEMINT IS THE REAL MISS SOUTH CAROLINA: South Carolina Senator Jim DeMint has written a new book about Hitler/Obama and the Iran and, uh, the South American countries and like such as: “Part of what we’re trying to do in ‘Saving Freedom’ is just show that where we are, we’re about where Germany was [...]

RUMORS ON THE INTERNETS 2:49 pm June 25, 2009

Meet Sir Arthur Conan Doyle, Guest Editor of RedState

by Riley Waggaman

Barack Obama and Bundesrepublik Deutschland Wurstdame Angela Merkel had an awkward relationship in the ’80s, but now they are willing to put the past behind them and cut a deal. Prediction: Merkel gets AIG and Obama gets to massage Merkel’s muscular shoulders. It is peace for our time. [HuffPost] The Mystery of Reducing Health Care [...]

YIKES 10:33 pm April 25, 2009

Mexican Archeology Museum Director Killed by Pneumonia Entertained Obama At Same Museum

by Ken Layne

Here’s some terrifying news: While the U.S. media was focused on the very important subject of some fat wingnuts having teabagging protests in America, President Barack Obama was headed to Mexico — and on the night of April 16, he attended a fancy dinner at Mexico City’s famous Museo Nacional de Antropología, where noted archeologist [...]

WHY WON'T THE MSM REPORT THIS? 5:10 pm April 20, 2009

Fox Analyst Wonders, Did Obama And Chavez Do More Insane Gay Things Off-Camera?

by Jim Newell

There’s a lovely amount of right-wing hysteria on the Internets today regarding this weekend’s news that Barack Obama shook Hugo Chavez’s hand and talked to him for a bit at their little Mexican summit last week. This proved again that Barack Obama has no idea what kind of a person Hugo Chavez is; he has [...]

MEH 2:09 pm September 30, 2008

Whoa Hey John McCain Half-Misspeaks Whoa Hey

by Jim Newell

Libtards are giggling like rich schoolgirls on acid over this one. Along the lines of, JOHN MCCAIN DOES NOT KNOW THAT VENEZUELA ISN’T IN THE MIDDLE EAST! Can you even believe it oh my god blah blah blah. Whatever. They can enjoy getting ulcers over John McCain’s poor choice of conjunctions or adjectives such as [...]

HOMOSEXUALS 4:59 pm July 17, 2008

Larry Craig Wants To Jerk Your Gas Nozzle

by Jim Newell

Here’s Idaho Senior Senator Larry Craig describing a handjob he gave Hugo Chavez gayly saying we can’t let foreign dictators “jerk us around by the gas nozzle” doing both of the things we’ve crossed out. Note the flailing hands. [TPM]

HUGO CHAVEZ 3:53 pm April 4, 2008