Tag Archives: huffington post

  where the sunshine don't shine

Ferguson Police Chief Hallucinated Journalists Who Wanted Cigarillo Caper Tape

Ever have one of those weeks at work? Something goes wrong over the weekend when you weren’t even there, the guy at the top blames you for it, and suddenly they’re giving your job to some jerk you’ve never heard of. By the time you get to Friday, you’re so frazzled that you hallucinate a stampede of ravenous journalists demanding that you turn over something they don’t know you have. Read more on Ferguson Police Chief Hallucinated Journalists Who Wanted Cigarillo Caper Tape…
  Beat the press

Who Won Battleground Ferguson: Po-Po Or Journos? The Answer Will Amaze You!

gassy
  Still Life With Al Jazeera and Teargas. Image from video by KSDK As the teargas wafts away from the streets of Ferguson, Missouri, and the some of the members of the media covering the Mike Brown protests start to drift away to cover more pressing stories like the VMAs, let’s take a look back to see who came out ahead in the Battle to Cover Ferguson: the po-po or the journos. Read more on Who Won Battleground Ferguson: Po-Po Or Journos? The Answer Will Amaze You!…
  dangers in the night

Ferguson PD Embraces Equality by Arresting Reporters of All Races

bright lights
On Wednesday night, the police in Ferguson, Missouri, wanted everyone to clear out of the local McDonald’s, which had turned into a makeshift media center with reporters charging their phones and using the wifi to file stories about the protests only a few blocks away. When officers ordered all the patrons to leave, Washington Post reporter Wesley Lowery made two fateful missteps: he did not snap to and flee immediately and furthermore would not stop running his pesky camera. Read more on Ferguson PD Embraces Equality by Arresting Reporters of All Races…
  and on the 8th day god said let there be derp

Mike Huckabee To Save Internet With ‘Huckabee Post.’ ‘Journalists,’ Apply Now!

Hey, remember that fat white guy who lost weight and now wants to put the ‘white’ back in White House? No, not the one what closes bridges because of petty political bickering — the other GOP white guy, the one who rocks out on gee-tar. Yeah, Mike Huckabee. He is back in the news because the news hates us and wants us to be unhappy today and forever. Continuing today’s trend of plagiarizing, the Huffington Post reports that Huckabee will soon be launching… wait for it… The Huckabee Post! Where, oh where, did he come with such a creative and original name? Let’s sadsplore what kind of awfulness we can expect from the Huckster.  Read more on Mike Huckabee To Save Internet With ‘Huckabee Post.’ ‘Journalists,’ Apply Now!…
  fark you

Hey Reddit /R/Politics Refugees, Have You Considered Annexing Wonkville?

Do you know Reddit? It is this thing. It is a glorious place of Internet freedom where users (“Redditors”) post stories they have found from other places, and then other users (“Redditors”) vote up and down on whether it is “hot” or “not.” In that regard, it is much like our own Wonkville, where we send our readers to slave in the story mines and then bitch about how their headlines were better. A hot post on Reddit’s main politics “subreddit,” /r/politics, will flood the original site from which it was linked with masses of lovely, beautiful, $$$ traffic. This can be quite important, when you are trying to pay people and also eat food and also not be homeless, despite making your “living” on the internet. (Please send money.) But a thing has happened at /r/politics, and that is that some “moderators” went full Al Haig and had themselves a teeny-weeny little attack of I’M IN CHARGE HERE. They decreed that henceforth they would ban all stories from about a thousand million different websites completely (scroll down for the banned domains), for the crimes of being “sensational” (headlines that oversell their stories), “blogspam” (basically, any aggregator of news from around the web, which every blog is), or “bad journalism” (undefined). Among those sites? Just some total nonentities you’ve never heard of, like Mother Jones, the National Review, Media Matters, Right Wing Watch, Salon, Think Progress, and Huffington Post. Read more on Hey Reddit /R/Politics Refugees, Have You Considered Annexing Wonkville?…
  austerity is for little people

Reinhart-Rogoff, Austerity Superduo, Even More Full Of B.S. Than Previously Thought

 Just in case you are unfamiliar with Reinhart-Rogoff: they are a pair of economists who published a very famous paper purporting to show that high public debt to GDP ratio leads to negative economic growth. This paper was waved around by people like Paul Ryan, who used it to argue that cutting Social Security and Medicaid and unemployment were important tools for staving off recession because of the magical thing that happens to economies when the GDP to debt ratio hits 90%. Will you be shocked to learn that Reinhart-Rogoff’s famous paper was wrong? As a graduate student from UMass demonstrated, Reinhart and Rogoff not only based their conclusions off cherry-picked data, they made a serious error in the Excel spreadsheet they were working with. (Math is really hard, you guys.) But wait! There’s more! Not only were Reinhart-Rogoff working with a cherry-picked data set and a thoroughly screwed up spreadsheet, they fell victim to one of the most classic blunders and got the causal relationship backwards: slow growth causes higher debt, not the other way around. D’OH, and cetera. Read more on Reinhart-Rogoff, Austerity Superduo, Even More Full Of B.S. Than Previously Thought…
  bundles of joy

Get Ready For Your Close-Up, Tea Bag Pro-Life Congressman Who Pressured His Mistress To ‘Bortion His Baby

Bitches. All you’re trying to do is treat their foot fungus or whatever, and they hold you down and rape you probably, and then they tell you they are on the Pill or something, and then they get your sperm all up in them and it makes a little tiny baby! Obviously it is their fault your wife divorces you after initiating divorce proceedings two years prior when she found out about your first affair (of four). What can a future Tea Bag pro-life Congressman do but record himself on the phone pressuring the succubus-raper to get a ‘bortion of his tiny little Gift from God? Tennessee Congressman Scott DesJarlais, you are a walking Good Decision! Read more on Get Ready For Your Close-Up, Tea Bag Pro-Life Congressman Who Pressured His Mistress To ‘Bortion His Baby…
  wonkette media desk

On Sideboob: The Deep Impact and Thundering Significance Of Arianna Huffington and the Sides of Stars’ Boobs

If anyone even vaguely involved in online publishing (or as we call it here in the year 2012, “publishing”) tries to tell you that they don’t pay attention to what the Huffington Post is up to, they are filthy liars. For good or for ill, HuffPo has changed the way we report politics, news, pets, sexy ladies, sexy ladies in bikinis, and everything else. That’s why it sent shockwaves through the industry last night when people began to notice an important new HuffPo vertical (this is web-dork-speak for “section”) dedicated entirely to sideboobs. That URL is huffingtonpost dot com slash news slash sideboob, so you know it’s bringing you all the important sideboob news; more in-depth features, the sideboob longreads, come later, we guess. The question that now confronts all other publishers is: do you get into a sideboob arms race with Arianna Huffington? We don’t have their deep pockets to pay sideboob-specialist paparazzi who hover at celebrities’ sides, waiting to see boobs, but we’ve aggregated our own sideboob slideshow for you, after the jump. Read more on On Sideboob: The Deep Impact and Thundering Significance Of Arianna Huffington and the Sides of Stars’ Boobs…
  it is time for you to stop all of your blogging

Canada Urging HuffPo Bloggers To Revolt, Like In Egypt

There is literally nothing more important on Earth than America Online’s purchase of Arianna Huffington’s celebriporn blog. Nothing. This is why Canadian agents provocateurs are leaving comments on the NYT calling for insurrection. Insurrection! This particular Canadian (we hide his assumed name to protect ourselves from the tanks of oppression) wants HuffPo bloggers to quit writing free blog posts for the HuffPo. Sounds like sedition to us! Read more on Canada Urging HuffPo Bloggers To Revolt, Like In Egypt…
  i see what you did there

Huffington Post Makes All of America Believe Israel Is Devil By Cropping Photo

Pajamas Media is still updating its website, somehow, and today we have IMPORTANT NEWS about the front page of another Internet website. It seems Huffington Post has EVILLY CROPPED A PHOTO of Israeli PM Benjamin Netanyahu so that it looks like he has ANTLERS! Wait, DEVIL HORNS! DEVIL HORNS! That’s it. This kind journalist has brought this to our attention and has even done some shoe-leather reporting on this amazing sign that the Huffington Post is brainwashing us to hate Israel. Read more on Huffington Post Makes All of America Believe Israel Is Devil By Cropping Photo…
  palm autopilot

Zoom Function Is Rosetta Stone Of Sarah Palin’s Hand

Here is a close-up of Sarah Palin’s new temporary tattoo. It raises so many more questions than it answers, technically! The Huffington Post did an impression of journalism and has now bequeathed unto the world revelations about what specifically those words are, namely “Energy,” “Tax,” “Lift American Spirits,” and “Budget cuts.” This information will amass even greater relevance when the New York Times reveals that it is an anagram for “RSVP for David Paterson Key Party.” [Huffington Post] Read more on Zoom Function Is Rosetta Stone Of Sarah Palin’s Hand…
  die faster newspapers!

Wow Indeed!

“NSFW,” really? It doesn’t just apply to human sex acts anymore? Time to empty the hard drive… [Twitter via Dave Weigel]
  oval gets the square

“PERHAPS NO ROOM IN THE WHITE HOUSE IS MORE CLOSELY ASSOCIATED WITH THE PRESIDENCY.” – Arianna Huffington’s Internet Tendency is careful to hedge on its necessary contextualization of the Oval Office. [HuffPost] Read more on …
  bomb washington dc

Left-Wing Liberal Blogs To Destroy Sanctity Of White House Pool Reports

The most challenging investigative task a prominent Washington journalist could ever face in his or her career is to cover the White House Pool Report beat, where our greatest reporters take turns following the President during off-hours — just in case anything like a sex affair or juicy “gaffe” happens — and then share the vital journalism information with each other for common use. (This is a form of Communism.) The rotation has traditionally been composed of reporters from the Washington bureaus of the top 30-ish newspapers and magazines, and the average fare usually features three or four muckraking sentences about how a deputy press secretary made a funny joke about another reporter who every reporter knows to have a wacky reputation for the exact thing the deputy press secretary made a joke about… oh you wouldn’t get it, ha ha ha. But this is all over now, due to the recent addition of two left-wing bloggers into the rotation. Read more on Left-Wing Liberal Blogs To Destroy Sanctity Of White House Pool Reports…
  today in brilliant email pitches from other websites

Lady On Website Wonders If Sarah Palin Is Real Or Not

This e-mail made us sad. “In her column, Suzy offers her two cents on Sarah’s interview with Oprah, with the key takeaway is whether Sarah is real or not.” This “Suzy” sounds like a keeper, HEHNGNN? Read more on Lady On Website Wonders If Sarah Palin Is Real Or Not…
  justice in our time

Washington Post Passes Froomkin To Huffington Post For Victory!

Here’s some happy news: Fired WashingtonPost.com columnist Dan Froomkin has been hired by the Huffington Post to run the monster-blog’s new DC bureau. Now mean old neocon Charles Krauthammer and his faux-liberal enablers at the Washington Post can’t get Froomkin fired ever again, ha ha. Something makes us think Froomkin’s page views will go way up now that he’ll be promoted on the HuffPo front page rather than buried in the unloved online ghetto of the corrupt, dying Washington Post. Eat a bag of rat dicks, WaPo! [Andrew Sullivan] Read more on Washington Post Passes Froomkin To Huffington Post For Victory!…
  win the afternoon

HER LOSS: LANDRIEU DEFINITELY NOT AT BRITNEY CONCERT: The Huffington Post has run with this “gossip blog”‘s reported confirmed life-defining economy-saving news report about Eric Cantor going to see old Britney Spears sing last night, and they have gotten confirmation from Sen. Landrieu’s office that she was not, as it happens, there with Eric Cantor, as his office (and other parts of the Republican Apparatus, dare we mention) told us earlier today. [HuffPo] Read more on …
  sexy parties

SEXY NEW WINGNUTS!: The readers of the Huffington Post have selected this young man, the 27-year-old Aaron Schock of Peoria, Illinois, as the “hottest freshman” in Congress this year. Sorry ladies, he’s a Republican! His prize will be 45 minutes alone with Arianna in the “Printing Presses Through the Centuries” section of the Newseum. [HuffPo] Read more on …
  write yr own history!

A Fun Week-Too-Late Game Of Obama Hyperbole — Thanks, HuffPo!

Usually as we’re going through our “All New Items” tab on Google Reader and come to a batch of HuffPo articles, we scroll down as fast as possible for about 10 seconds while closing our eyes and clutching our loved ones, hoping that afterwards we may have finally broken through the hurling asteroid cluster of things like, “Alec Baldwin: UN Trade Envoy Could Talk Up Long-Term Interest Rates” or “Arianna Huffington: This Is Actually Another Publication’s Article That We’ve Copied Wholesale Onto Our Website So As To Get Top Google News Placement.” But today we came across this one called “Terrance Heath: America’s Mountaintop Moment,” and we’ve been trying to scroll through it for seven hours with no end in sight! It is about HMM GUESS WHO, and it’s generative enough for a fun game! Read more on A Fun Week-Too-Late Game Of Obama Hyperbole — Thanks, HuffPo!…