Wonkette

Oh no, the Huffington Post is using a late-90s software that writes its e-mail text in Latin! We knew this all along — they have been plagiarizing Augustus Caesar, the first black president (according to Toni Morrison). Thank you to 900 people who forwarded this! Who knew that so many people subscribed to the Huffington Post’s “Off The Bus” newsletter?

We told you how Paris Hilton’s grandfather and dad were furious about John McCain’s idiot commercial comparing Barack Obama to white party girls, which was the horrible stunt that finally brought RACE into America’s colorblind politics. But now Paris’ own mom, Kathy Hilton, has published her terse tirade against the campaign her ultra-rich family once supported — she put it right there on Huffington Post, which is Rich America’s version of Twitter. MORE »

Here’s the magic secret to throwing a good free party: Have an open bar that will pour actual booze instead of just beer and wine, serve good food, and make sure the attractive people show up. This last hurdle can be pretty difficult to overcome at a blogger party, which was why the geniuses at the Huffington Post and GQ made sure their Netroots Nation party would feature little Zooey Deschanel-lookalike nymphet waitresses and a healthy smattering of cute boys in slim-cut suits straight out of Mad Men. Of course everybody got wasted. MORE »

Wonkette’s Liz Glover had the opportunity last night to interview Arianna Huffington, founder of Daily Kos or something, about her new book and the nicknames she chooses for Tim Russert. When Liz is waiting for Arianna to sign her a copy of the book, some guy in line says “I know people that work for her,” presumably people who write for the Huffington Post. In other words, this guy knows any human being on earth.

Well. [Huffington Post]

Bill O’Reilly is shocked that Huffington Post commenters say mean things about Nancy Reagan and Tony Snow! And so he sent some little man to confront the Hate Queen Arianna Huffington about her hateful hate speech and she had no response except some jibber jabber about how “the Internet works.” MORE »

LADIES ANGRY AT OTHER LADIES: How many feminists does it take to write a pathetically sincere Huffington Post column about how feminists are not going to take this whole “you have to vote for Hillary because she’s a lady” pressure from the Clintons? The answer is, of course, “That’s not funny!” (Also, the answer is “two,” as in “it took two feminists to write this shit.”) [Huffington Post]

Hooray, we’re here. There are about 500 people protesting for health care outside, and otherwise the Cashman Center is pretty much abandoned. Also, Wonkette’s filing desk is NEXT TO DAILY KOS AND HUFFINGTON POST AND MAYBE AOL … THIS WON’T STAND. We are going to look for some conservatives to sit by, because they’ll likely have much better jokes about the Democrats. Also, better cocaine. Back later; we are parked illegally and the Secret Service is kind of giving weird looks to our dirty old Beetle.

Debate Right On Target [Las Vegas Review Journal]

Apparently the Huffington Post bloggers saw a totally different Barack Obama speech last night — you know, one that wasn’t just some rich good-looking lawyer repeating the empty word “hope” like Rudy saying “9/11.” Here’s a sampling of the inspirational, pompous nonsense that is our substitute for actual insight in this goddamned country: MORE »

There’s not much love lost between former New York City Mayors Ed Koch and Rudy Giuliani. Rudy thinks Ed kinda screwed up Gotham and was soft on crime, while Ed thinks Rudy just basically sucks. “I’m just amazed that Giuliani is doing as well as he’s doing,” Koch told HuffPo. “He doesn’t deserve it.” MORE »

The Huffington Post is poised to turn a profit, has 1,800 bloggers and… what? She doesn’t pay any of them? Not a penny? But she might let them donate a portion of their ad proceeds to charity eventually? I guess it’s now clear why the site skews left (Republicans don’t work for free, man), and why we here at Wonkette love Nick Denton. [Portfolio.com]

Oh, that John Edwards sex scandal thing? It might have been planted and tended with care by the Huffington Post, sort of. Someone gave Sam Stein (former Newsweek intern-turned-HuffPo Political Journalist extraordinaire!) the story of some TOTALLY MYSTERIOUS VIDEOS that disappeared from John Edwards’ website. First it was a mere mysterious mystery — why would the Edwards’ campaign scrub all traces of these harmless, complimentary “meet the candidate” videos? Then it was a totally mysterious mystery involving a nutty, directionless hippie chick whom Edwards met in a bar.

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HuffPo’s Glynnis MacNicol has had some bad luck with Senator Barry Hussein. She had a big crush on him, but then she went to a party he threw and was assaulted by the musical stylings of Ben Harper and a very boring stump speech. Then, last night, she went to another party he threw and didn’t even get in. Because the Obama people charged everyone $25 for tickets, overbooked the room, and left everyone standing outside because the hotel was full of the plus-ones and hangers-on of local bigwigs and Tammany Hall bosses. Poor Glynnis’ crush is practically ruined. MORE »