huffington post

Bitches. All you’re trying to do is treat their foot fungus or whatever, and they hold you down and rape you probably, and then they tell you they are on the Pill or something, and then they get your sperm all up in them and it makes a little tiny baby! Obviously it is their [...]

If anyone even vaguely involved in online publishing (or as we call it here in the year 2012, “publishing”) tries to tell you that they don’t pay attention to what the Huffington Post is up to, they are filthy liars. For good or for ill, HuffPo has changed the way we report politics, news, pets, [...]

There is literally nothing more important on Earth than America Online’s purchase of Arianna Huffington’s celebriporn blog. Nothing. This is why Canadian agents provocateurs are leaving comments on the NYT calling for insurrection. Insurrection! This particular Canadian (we hide his assumed name to protect ourselves from the tanks of oppression) wants HuffPo bloggers to quit [...]

Pajamas Media is still updating its website, somehow, and today we have IMPORTANT NEWS about the front page of another Internet website. It seems Huffington Post has EVILLY CROPPED A PHOTO of Israeli PM Benjamin Netanyahu so that it looks like he has ANTLERS! Wait, DEVIL HORNS! DEVIL HORNS! That’s it. This kind journalist has [...]

Here is a close-up of Sarah Palin’s new temporary tattoo. It raises so many more questions than it answers, technically! The Huffington Post did an impression of journalism and has now bequeathed unto the world revelations about what specifically those words are, namely “Energy,” “Tax,” “Lift American Spirits,” and “Budget cuts.” This information will amass [...]

DIE FASTER NEWSPAPERS!  1:39 pm January 7, 2010

Wow Indeed!

by Jim Newell

“NSFW,” really? It doesn’t just apply to human sex acts anymore? Time to empty the hard drive… [Twitter via Dave Weigel]

Ten lawsuits—or the equivalent thereof in free BoA customer education PowerPoints—for operative “Lauren P.” [HuffPost but it's already ruined]

OVAL GETS THE SQUARE  10:03 am January 5, 2010

by Juli Weiner

“PERHAPS NO ROOM IN THE WHITE HOUSE IS MORE CLOSELY ASSOCIATED WITH THE PRESIDENCY.” – Arianna Huffington’s Internet Tendency is careful to hedge on its necessary contextualization of the Oval Office. [HuffPost]

The most challenging investigative task a prominent Washington journalist could ever face in his or her career is to cover the White House Pool Report beat, where our greatest reporters take turns following the President during off-hours — just in case anything like a sex affair or juicy “gaffe” happens — and then share the [...]

This e-mail made us sad. “In her column, Suzy offers her two cents on Sarah’s interview with Oprah, with the key takeaway is whether Sarah is real or not.” This “Suzy” sounds like a keeper, HEHNGNN?

As tipster “Geoff” notes, the economy is much worse than we’d thought. [HuffPo]

Here’s some happy news: Fired WashingtonPost.com columnist Dan Froomkin has been hired by the Huffington Post to run the monster-blog’s new DC bureau. Now mean old neocon Charles Krauthammer and his faux-liberal enablers at the Washington Post can’t get Froomkin fired ever again, ha ha. Something makes us think Froomkin’s page views will go way [...]

WIN THE AFTERNOON  5:57 pm March 25, 2009

by Jim Newell

HER LOSS: LANDRIEU DEFINITELY NOT AT BRITNEY CONCERT: The Huffington Post has run with this “gossip blog”‘s reported confirmed life-defining economy-saving news report about Eric Cantor going to see old Britney Spears sing last night, and they have gotten confirmation from Sen. Landrieu’s office that she was not, as it happens, there with Eric Cantor, [...]

SEXY PARTIES  3:54 pm February 4, 2009

by Jim Newell

SEXY NEW WINGNUTS!: The readers of the Huffington Post have selected this young man, the 27-year-old Aaron Schock of Peoria, Illinois, as the “hottest freshman” in Congress this year. Sorry ladies, he’s a Republican! His prize will be 45 minutes alone with Arianna in the “Printing Presses Through the Centuries” section of the Newseum. [HuffPo]

Usually as we’re going through our “All New Items” tab on Google Reader and come to a batch of HuffPo articles, we scroll down as fast as possible for about 10 seconds while closing our eyes and clutching our loved ones, hoping that afterwards we may have finally broken through the hurling asteroid cluster of [...]


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