Alphonso Jackson, the soon-to-depart Secretary of Housing and Urban Development, built a long and distinguished career on failure. He presided over a massive meltdown in the mortgage and lending markets by doing precisely nothing, even though the HUD oversees the Federal Housing Administration, which is supposed to ensure that poor people and first-time home buyers don’t end up impoverished and homeless when their loans go south. ANYHOW The Dumbocrats have been calling for his resignation, and now he is resigning. Not because he is terrible at his job, though! Because he needs to spend more time with his family, which does not yet hate him. That will change. MORE »

America’s proudest employees — the people of the Department of Housing and Urban Development — got a rude surprise yesterday when they tried to catch up on housing and urban development developments by reading Wonkette. MORE »

• Rove’s been telling his candidates he’s got an “October surprise” to put them over the top. We sure hope he can find Bin Laden in the next 9 days. [Newsmax]

• New political-networking sites enjoy idea-exchanging utopia, have not yet devolved into “Democratic lady looks for hot night with Republican stud.” [Washington Wire]
• All good Democracies know that in order to survive you have to kick someone’s ass, or become someone’s bitch. [Whiskey Bar]
• In case you forgot, Housing and Urban Development is still the most corrupt government agency not based at the Pentagon. [The Carpetbagger Report]
• Bill Clinton endorses “whacking” terror suspects in lieu of torture. [The Swamp]
• Proof that nobody has ever voluntarily left a job to “spend more time with family.” [Outside The Beltway]
• Republicans plan for Ahmadinejad-Chavez barnstorming tour to support Bush’s national security plans as, “no one makes a more compelling case than the duo of Mahmoud and Hugo.” [Scrappleface]

• ABC News is convinced that foreign diplomats in the US are the most passive-aggressive people on the planet. [The Blotter]

• Congress to Smithsonian: eat shit and die. [LA Times]
• Mojo Nixon campaigns in Texas, “If your state don’t have Kinky Friedman, than your state could use some votin’.” [Mojo Nixon]
• The 2006 federal budget deficit is just barely out of medal contention. [Think Progress]
• The exact price Chris Matthews will pay for transparent knowledge of your soul. [Fishbowl DC]
• College Democrats are sure that you can’t raise money for something unless you dress like a five-dollar hooker. [Truth Caucus]
• Controversy at HUD! Agency only hires women with first names ending in “ee”! Some are cute, some are felons! [The Smoking Gun]

Oh ye of little faith! A number of you doubted the authenticity of the close encounter with Dustee Tucker that we passed along on Monday, from a tipster who claimed to have met her at Starbucks.

Truth be told, we did too. But we now have reason to believe that it was quite authentic, based on what appears to be email correspondence between Dustee and our source.

We now must ask: Is Dustee Tucker a real person? She seems superhumanly nice. She charms an entire Hawaiian resort. She’s besties with the baristas at Starbucks. And she engages in pleasant email correspondence with a man who hit on her in a Starbucks — instead of calling the police and/or seeking a temporary restraining order, which is what most women would do in her shoes.

After the jump, the correspondence — which must be read to be believed…

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Your Dustee Tucker-related submissions only grow more brilliant by the day. We have no way of independently verifying them, so we offer them with the caveat that perhaps they’re completely fabricated.

But this latest one has the ring of frightening truth to it. After the jump, a Dustee-obsessed reader’s encounter with the object of his desire, at a local area Starbucks.

Caveat lector. But even if it’s made up, we have to give our correspondent credit — it’s highly entertaining!

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What hath we wrought? From Craigslist: MORE »

Jared Paul Stern, formerly of Payola Six, famously quipped: “We know how to destroy people. It’s what we do.”

Here at shiny happy Wonkette, our motto is a little different: “We know how to create celebrities. It’s what we do.”

Jessica Cutler? Check. Butterstick? Check. Stormie Janzen? Check. And, of course, our most recent creation: HUD spokeshottie Dustee Tucker (at left).

Dustee may not yet be a household name. But she’s certainly “famous-for-D.C.,” or fast on her way there. First, she’s already getting noticed by the Posties (who refer to her as “Wonkette’s new favorite”).

Second, she’s getting spotted around town:

Is it possible to type breathlessly? Because I am, sugar.

I saw Dustee Tucker today. The Dustee Tucker.

There I am, at the Austin Grill on E Street, shoveling handful after handful of chips and salsa into my mouth with a steady and practiced hand, when I looked up to see Dustee Tucker walking toward me. Dustee Tucker. Toward me.

After the jump, check out the rest of this hilariously brilliant — but yes, vaguely creepy — email.

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Dustee Tucker, the HUD spokeshottie about whom we have blogged extensively, has many defenders. One of you emailed the photo at right and wrote us: “For the love, gotta get a new photo of Dustee. Here’s one from Christmas. Cropped out others to avoid the backlash I am sure I will get.”

In other Dustee-related news, we’ve heard that she is the niece of former Interior Secretary Gale Norton. Can anyone confirm?

Finally, one of you — who met Dustee while vacationing in Hawaii last week — wrote us a long email about her general fabulousness. The full message, including a dig at Dustee rival Stormie Janzen, appears after the jump.

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* It’s his first week on the job, and Tony Snow has already drunk the Kool-Aid. [Examiner] MORE »

Yesterday we introduced you to Dustee Tucker, the HUD spokeshottie who has been trying to spin Secretary Alphonso Jackson’s recent, ill-considered remarks about the awarding of government contracts. Shortly after this matter blew up, Dustee Tucker left the office on leave, as reported by Think Progress.

When a scandal erupts and someone goes (or gets placed) on leave, it often looks highly suspicious. For example, Brian Doyle — the DHS official accused of trying to seduce a minor using a computer — was initially placed on administrative leave, before resigning from his post.

But with Dustee, it appears that she’s just on vacation. Sometimes a “scheduled leave” is just a “scheduled leave.” An operative advises us:

Read your coverage on Dustee Tucker. I know three facts:

1. She was voted most beautiful in high school.

2. She’s single.

3. As we speak, she is on vacation in Malibu Hawaii [per the Dallas Morning News]. Poor girl, I hear it is her first in over a year.

By the way, she looks a hell of a lot more like the girl from Greys Anatomy than Tiffani Thiessen. It’s better in person!

For those of you who can’t get enough of Dustee, some additional info about her from a college classmate appears after the jump.

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HUD Secretary Alphonso Jackson’s defense of his April 28 remarks, in which he implied that a government contractor was denied a job after voicing opposition to the Bush administration, has been a communications disaster. Some of you may be wondering: Who’s in charge of the Secretary’s p.r. effort?

Someone who is now on “scheduled leave,” that’s who. Think Progress has the full details here, a post cataloging HUD’s inconsistent explanations over the past few days.

Our favorite detail: the HUD spokeswoman in question is named “Dustee Tucker.” We haven’t encountered a name this sexy since Stormie Janzen. And Dustee, just like Stormie, is quite attractive. Check out the drooling comments to this post, or just take a look at this picture:

We don’t make these names up, people. Sometimes truth is stranger — and better — than fiction.

After the jump, more Dustee Tucker photos — including one in which she bears a striking resemblance to Tiffani Thiessen, of “Beverly Hills, 90210″ fame.

Update: ThinkProgress now reports that (1) Secretary Jackson “deeply regrets” his “anecdotal remarks”; and (2) HUD Inspector General Kenneth Donohue will be investigating Secretary Jackson’s conduct.

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On April 28, HUD Secretary Alphonso Jackson made some unfortunate remarks before a group of minority businesspeople. The Dallas Business Journal reported on the talk last week, but the story didn’t attract much attention.

Then we blogged about it, yesterday. And now, Senator Frank Lautenberg, Representatives Henry Waxman and Barney Frank, and independent watchdog groups are calling for investigations into the matter — and even Secretary Jackson’s resignation.

Coincidence? We don’t think so.

On a lighter note, an amusing story about a 2004 visit by Secretary Jackson to the Kennedy Center appears after the jump.

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