Tag: houston

Delta Flight Attendant: Is There A White Doctor On This Plane?

A black woman doctor on an airplane tried to help with an emergency. Yeah, you know where this story's heading.
Calling occupants of interplanetary craft...

So Who Else Got Shot By Cops This Weekend? And Who Said Stupid Sh*t About it?

Well dear Christ, what a fine little roundup of horrors we have for you this time. Please provide your own kittens. Houston: Hands Up? Maybe. Shot? Definitely. In Houston early Saturday morning, police shot a black man, Alva Braziel, who was...

Montana School Gets Black Student, Morons Get Racist, School Bans Confederate Flags

A high school in the tiny Montana town of Livingston (population 7,044) has banned the Confederate flag from school property after the school enrolled its one and only black student. Get ready for the predictable shitstorm of butthurt neo-Confederate...

What Disgusting ‘Food’ Stuffs Are Sports Stadiums Shoving Into Your Faces Today?

Major League Baseball released its list of stadium foods last Thursday, and we have only one question: who the hell let Guy Fieri design every ballpark food in America? In their quest to push the boundaries of stadium food science,...

North Carolina Governor Suffering Extreme Case Of Butthurt, Please Send Butt Medicine

North Carolina's Republican governor, Pat McCrory, is having a #sad right now. Everybody is being so mean and calling him a sister-honking redneck for signing his state's insane anti-LGBT law, and all on the same week Georgia's Republican governor...

Texas Muslin Ain’t Want None A-Them Fake Hindu Gods Muckin’ Up His Dairy Queen

A Dairy Queen owner in Texas has come under public fire for posting really bigoted signs about someone else's religion. OH BOY, it's Texas, must mean another Christian shitting on Muslims, we're so tired of -- wait, the asshat...
Probably how it happens.

South Dakota Would Like To Take A Stab At Gay-Bashing Now

In 2015, The Supreme Court forced all Americans to do gay to each other's butts within the bonds of holy homosexual matrimony, and the transgenders started invading all the Good Christian Potties and peeping on the ladies applying their...
Oh Jeb. What did she do to you?

Jeb Bush LOLs About How His Mom Used To Beat Him

What up, Jeb? Besides losing for president and trying to win supporters who will never come, because you are so pathetic? Oh, we see, you're kiddin' around at a "campaign event" about how terrible and horrible your mother Barbara...
A face even a mother could punch.

Planned Parenthood Video Dude Really Excited About Going To Prison, We Guess

At the end of January, we all giggled together about how LOL, David Daleiden of the Center For Medical Progress, the guy who made those fake videos that supposedly show Planned Parenthood selling grande WRITHING BABY PARTS smoothies (with...
Glamour Shots, maybe.

Dumb Duck Dynasty Dude Wants All The Queer-Lovers Dead, We Guess

It's been a while since we've had a legit reason to check in with Phil Robertson, the boy matriarch of the "Duck Dynasty" teevee family (motto: Like the Duggars, but furrier!). And breaking news, but he still hates him...
Yeah yeah yeah, Brokeback was set in Wyoming, WHAT IS THE DIFFERENCE?

Montana Governor Givin’ Special Rights To Them Brokeback Mountain Types Now

Seems like not a day goes by lately where some unelected lawyer in a robe or elected politician wearing pants of some sort doesn't declare war on Jesus and Christmas and good Christian common sense by forcing the gay...
Considering that's an 1861 flag, maybe we should let the little Timelord stay

True Americans Suing All Foreign Anchor Babies So They Don’t Steal The Presidency

It'sĀ happening! After a solid week of Donald Trump suggesting, with all the subtlety of a hydraulic jackhammer, that it sure would be a shame if someone (anyone, please!) were to sue Canadian-born Ted Cruz, some crazy old coot in...
To The Management: Please correct this image. I would never use Courier. On second thought, never mind. You people would just replace it with Comic Sans.

Deleted Comments Of The Week: New Year’s Moron Nuggets

It's a brand new year, and a brand new iteration of the same old bunch of angerbears in the Wonkette Comments. Our featured comments are a little out of the ordinary this week, in that the howls of rightwing...
America, Fuck Yeah!

How Many Mosques Did You Burn For Jesus’s Birthday? (Updated)

Updated: See end of post You know what makes America a great country? We're so exceptional that when we decide it's time to save the world from Radical Muslim Extremists, we save the world from Radical Muslim Extremists, and...

To Save Babies, Texas Murders HIV Funding At Planned Parenthood

It's been a good five or ten minutes since we checked in on the government in Texas to see what horrible things they are inflicting upon their own populace. What is it this time? Building a tiny border fence...
I am the thing American Idiots are afraid of.

Syria To Invade Texas This Week, Bye Texas!

Oh, Texas, it was super nice knowing you and letting you be one of our U.S. American states, but there's an invasion coming, and we don't feel like lifting a solitary finger to save you right now, because you...