There is a Democrat running for District Attorney in Harris County, Texas, and he is kind of a dick! Not only is he kind of a dick, but we would go so far as to say he is NOT A ALLY! Lloyd Oliver, the criminal defense attorney who wants to oversee all prosecutions in Harris […]

Can’t really argue with the opinion of Houston Mayor Annise Parker on this one. Asked for her thoughts on the whole Phil Robertson duck-tussle, Parker, the contentedly out lesbian mayor lady said: “I have never watched ‘Duck Dynasty,’ so I don’t think about it much at all,” Parker responded. “I’ve been a gay community activist […]

Are you a sociopathic rich person who has raised your little buttercup with absolutely no moral guidance for the world around him? Have you taught him that he is a Randian ubermensch striding the world like a colossus? That others are as ants? That taxes are for little people? That he can kill four people […]

Welcome to another edition of Derp Roundup, our weekly collection of cranky crap that wasn’t worth a full post, but was too incandescently stoopid to ignore altogether. First up, Bryan Fischer told all his followers on Twitter today to go read this shocking billion-word exposé of what Teh Ghey is really all about, as explained […]

Welcome again, Wonktopia, to the bloody charnel house of American gun culture. The stench of suppurating wounds and rotting, gangrenous flesh hangs in the air like gunpowder after the shootout at the O.K. Corral. Watch your step, there are corpses and severed limbs lying all over the place. Would this be an ironic moment for […]

A Houston man with no sense of humor is suing his former employer, a car dealership co-owned by Texas State Rep. Patricia Harless, after coworkers attacked him with a stun gun in what the coworkers were certain was a series of hilarious pranks. Bradley Jones says that over a nine month period, fellow employees at […]

Ah, Texas, a place where the teaching of science is always just a state school board vote away from including the Book of Genesis, where the state’s textbook selection process sets the agenda for textbooks across the nation, and where the state GOP platform actually calls for schools to stop teaching “critical thinking skills” (risk […]

Well, hellooooo Houston City Councilwoman Helena Brown! How have you and those big brown eyes come to Your Wonkette’s attention today? Oh, you are busy asking local Houston Korean businessmen to give you money for an $11,000 flight to Korea, even though it was already paid for on the public dime? That is kind of […]

The FBI Houston Division is on the hunt! A bandit has cleaned out the vault at a Wells Fargo bank and escaped on horseback — some say up to Cheyenne Town, others say out Callyforney-way. Who is this rogue, bringing his most unseemly disposition to the local financiers of Houston City? Could he be… the […]

Everyone loves a good piñata. You get a baseball bat and go smash, ha ha ha! And then everyone goes home with stuffed pockets of candy and razor blades. The kids love this nonsense. But lo, what has Precinct 4 of Houston done now? A “park policy adopted in Precinct 4, which stretches over a […]

John Boehner probably broke down in sobs the last time he realized his spam filter was accidentally eating up all his favorite tanning salon offers from Groupon, but he sure as hell couldn’t be bothered to share a single one of his tears with Gabrielle Giffords while she recovered in Texas: [Giffords's husband] Mark Kelly […]

Hmm… it appears, from what we would infer to be a “polite” tone here, that Barack Obama will not pursue crippling sanctions against the city of Houston for electing some lesbian as its mayor. GRRRR, THESE DEMOCRATS! [Burnt Orange Report via Ben Smith]

Have you heard? Gays are, apparently, allowed to run for political office in Texas! One such gay actually won the mayoralty of Houston this weekend. Let’s learn a little bit more about Mayor-elect Annise Parker, who offers a winning combination of fiscal management skills and lesbianism.

The reign of terror continues! Not content to just mow down elderly black Floridian motorists and spread propaganda for John McCain’s arch enemy, the Haunted Devil-Bus has now buried Houston in a blizzard of “campaign supplies.” [KHOU]

We’re having trouble getting into this latest iteration of the John Edwards/Rielle Hunter/Love Child story, probably because, um, who gives a shit about this loser or his bastard? For what it’s worth, however, he offered a curt denial today in Houston, where he was talking to a low-income housing aid organization: “That’s tabloid trash… They’re […]