houston
Houston Schools Bravely Protect Students From Deliberately Fake Science Book
Ah, Texas, a place where the teaching of science is always just a state school board vote away from including the Book of Genesis, where the state’s textbook selection process sets the agenda for textbooks across the nation, and where the state GOP platform actually calls for schools to stop teaching “critical thinking skills” (risk [...]
Hot Houston City Councilwoman In The Running For America’s Next Top Grifter
Well, hellooooo Houston City Councilwoman Helena Brown! How have you and those big brown eyes come to Your Wonkette’s attention today? Oh, you are busy asking local Houston Korean businessmen to give you money for an $11,000 flight to Korea, even though it was already paid for on the public dime? That is kind of [...]
Is This Schlubby Bank Robber The Ghost of Abraham Lincoln?
The FBI Houston Division is on the hunt! A bandit has cleaned out the vault at a Wells Fargo bank and escaped on horseback — some say up to Cheyenne Town, others say out Callyforney-way. Who is this rogue, bringing his most unseemly disposition to the local financiers of Houston City? Could he be… the [...]
Houston Piñata Ban: Why Does Houston Ban Piñatas?
Everyone loves a good piñata. You get a baseball bat and go smash, ha ha ha! And then everyone goes home with stuffed pockets of candy and razor blades. The kids love this nonsense. But lo, what has Precinct 4 of Houston done now? A “park policy adopted in Precinct 4, which stretches over a [...]
Mean Jerk John Boehner Never Visited Injured Gabby Giffords
John Boehner probably broke down in sobs the last time he realized his spam filter was accidentally eating up all his favorite tanning salon offers from Groupon, but he sure as hell couldn’t be bothered to share a single one of his tears with Gabrielle Giffords while she recovered in Texas: [Giffords's husband] Mark Kelly [...]
Barack Obama Telephones Lesbian
Hmm… it appears, from what we would infer to be a “polite” tone here, that Barack Obama will not pursue crippling sanctions against the city of Houston for electing some lesbian as its mayor. GRRRR, THESE DEMOCRATS! [Burnt Orange Report via Ben Smith]
Gay Lady Elected Mayor Of Houston, Which Is In Texas (?!?)
Have you heard? Gays are, apparently, allowed to run for political office in Texas! One such gay actually won the mayoralty of Houston this weekend. Let’s learn a little bit more about Mayor-elect Annise Parker, who offers a winning combination of fiscal management skills and lesbianism.
Straight Talk Express On Houston Rampage
The reign of terror continues! Not content to just mow down elderly black Floridian motorists and spread propaganda for John McCain’s arch enemy, the Haunted Devil-Bus has now buried Houston in a blizzard of “campaign supplies.” [KHOU]
John Edwards Denies Having Sex Or Whatever
We’re having trouble getting into this latest iteration of the John Edwards/Rielle Hunter/Love Child story, probably because, um, who gives a shit about this loser or his bastard? For what it’s worth, however, he offered a curt denial today in Houston, where he was talking to a low-income housing aid organization: “That’s tabloid trash… They’re [...]
For the Holidays, Cheap Weed Gets Cheaper
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