Tag Archives: housing collapse

  no country for old men

Both Sides of Congress Want Foreign Drug Lords To Buy U.S. Foreclosures

The serious proposals for fixing “the housing crisis” in this country have so far amounted to a) Alan Greenspan suggesting the federal government burn down the millions of vacant foreclosures across America and b) an actual government program that allowed Goldman Sachs to buy foreclosures in bulk for pennies on the dollar and then rent those same houses back to the financially ruined people who were evicted by the banks. But now there’s a new plan hatched by a Democrat and Republican in the Senate: Let any foreigner have a three-year residency visa as long as they spend half-a-million dollars, cash only, on some U.S. real estate. This proposal is foolproof. Read more on Both Sides of Congress Want Foreign Drug Lords To Buy U.S. Foreclosures…
  our flourishing economy

America’s Poor Beg Congress: ‘Please Forgive Our Debt, Sirs!’

The “new thing” in America is being desperately poor, until an audience of Tea Party sociopaths maniacally cheers your death outside the razor-wire fence of the hospital. But some of these uppity poors are so desperate that they’ve politely begged the rich monsters of Congress to forgive their many debts. HR 365 was introduced today, because 194,000 sad people signed this petition begging for relief from their mortgages and student loans. All these needy deadbeats are probably going to be gathered in a football stadium and burned alive for the half-time entertainment at the 2012 GOP convention, but for now they have a “voice in the House,” until this is “tabled with extreme prejudice.” Read more on America’s Poor Beg Congress: ‘Please Forgive Our Debt, Sirs!’…
  our flourishing economy

Nearly a Third of American Mortgages ‘Underwater’

The economic recovery continues to be a complete fiction, like the Harry Potter books but without all the fun sex magick. Unemployment is officially back to 9%, with real unemployment at 22%. Energy and food costs keep rising as jobless benefits run out and wages are stagnant for the lucky ducks who still earn a paycheck. And there’s a record number of people owing more on their houses than the houses are worth: “28.4 percent of single-family homeowners, representing a peak since Zillow began calculating the data in 2009.” Throw in all the other awful economic news from America and abroad, and you might wonder if this whole system of corrupt corporate welfare/warfare thing has, you know, collapsed forever. Read more on Nearly a Third of American Mortgages ‘Underwater’…
  and marco rubio has his own foreclosure!

Florida Loves Charlie Crist’s Sexy New Independent Spirit

America’s favorite recently-married orange Floridian, Governor Charlie Crist, had to quit the Republican Party because the teabaggers didn’t want him to be the new U.S. senator. Why do teabaggers hate Republicans so much? Doesn’t matter! Charlie now has a healthy lead in the three-way or four-way race for Senate, while dumb wingnut Marco Rubio is currently 11 points down and Democrat Rep. Kendrick Meek has dropped way down to third place but is at least ahead of gross gazillionaire Jeff Greene — the Democratic nomination won’t be settled until August 24, and Greene may well buy the race for himself, and then he can celebrate with his special friends Heidi Fleiss and Mike Tyson (both of whom are on Florida’s currency and/or license plate.) Read more on Florida Loves Charlie Crist’s Sexy New Independent Spirit…
  our flourishing economy

Nobody’s Making the House Payment, Nobody’s Getting New Mortgages

Despite the complete recovery of the American Economy — what, did you miss it? — a record 14% of households with mortgages are currently delinquent. That’s more than 7 million households. Another survey says 10% of all mortgages are in default, the highest percentage on record. Don’t worry, it gets worse. Read more on Nobody’s Making the House Payment, Nobody’s Getting New Mortgages…
  inland empire

Lamest Teabagging Party In America

Wonkette operative “Laura” sends this cell-phone shot from the High Desert stucco ghetto of Victorville, California. This is one of the lamest fucking places in America, the fat diabetic heart of the housing collapse, basically everyone is on the dole — military pension, social security, disability, etc. — so of course it’s hard-core wingnut land. This is the kind of place where you see new Ron Paul 2008 posters stapled up on the phone poles to replace the ones that blew away. The signs these teabaggers are waving say “HONK IF YOU LOVE COCK.” Read more on Lamest Teabagging Party In America…
  our flourishing economy

Huge New Job Losses Send Stocks Soaring!

It’s another new new unemployment record, America! The happy month of March saw 669,000 U.S. jobs vanish, bringing the jobless rate up to 8.5% — the highest since the end of Reagan’s Lil’ Depression at the end of 1982. About 5 million jobs have now been lost in this current Great Recession. And stocks are on fire — the Dow’s over 8,000 again! Read more on Huge New Job Losses Send Stocks Soaring!…
  house poor

Obama Will Pay Your Mortgage, Losers!

The catastrophic news of the day is much like the catastrophic news of the past 18 months or so: OH JESUS, HOUSES, WHAT TO DO? Since the mid 1970s, the answer for many Chicago people has been “Move to some gruesome stucco tract house in a brand-new subdivision about an hour from downtown Phoenix.” So that’s what Barack Obama is doing today: Moving to Phoenix! Read more on Obama Will Pay Your Mortgage, Losers!…
  oh this should work out well

Fed Slashes U.S. Interest Rate To Basically Zero

Wasn’t the Fed supposed to cut rates in half today, from 1 percent to 0.5 percent? Well, that wasn’t good enough, for this failed economy and economic system. So now it’s “near zero,” which means “zero.” Just like Japan tried for years and years, to no effect! The Federal Reserve Bank is now out of “traditional ammunition,” according to almost-president Barack Obama, and your government is now printing money at an insane pace, and then banks are taking this money and immediately buying U.S. Treasury bonds, because nothing else is safe, and that is pretty much the end of this particular feedback loop. Read more on Fed Slashes U.S. Interest Rate To Basically Zero…
  fail

Triple-Digit Dow Decline Reversed On News Of 4,000 Cheap New Homes Sold, A Month Ago, Before The Financial Collapse

Sometimes the stock market is more “faith based” than a mall-church full of unemployed white trash. The Dow did a triple-digit plunge this morning, because the world is actually ending, especially the “making money” part, but it suddenly did a 200-point turnaround on month-old data suggesting a whole 4,000 heavily marked-down new homes sold in September, before the complete collapse of all American and Global stock markets. What? Read more on Triple-Digit Dow Decline Reversed On News Of 4,000 Cheap New Homes Sold, A Month Ago, Before The Financial Collapse…
  das kapital

Bush/Paulson’s New Communist America Can’t Even Fix Housing Collapse

Turns out we didn’t need “stealth socialist” Barack Obama to pervert capitalist America into a crumbling nationalized economy run in private by a dome-skulled kleptocracy as our nation’s battered military wastes away in the forgotten bummer of a civil war in Afghanistan. WAIT A MINUTE that is exactly what happened in the Soviet Union! And the so-called Republicans did it, because they are Fiscal Socialists! Read more on Bush/Paulson’s New Communist America Can’t Even Fix Housing Collapse…
 

6.5 Million Foreclosures, 18.6 Million Vacant Homes

Here are some cheery housing numbers, as the bankrupt truckers impotently beep their horns at Congress and the food is rationed and “consumer expectations” hit lows not seen since the early 1970s: More than 6 million homes will go into foreclosure before this housing collapse is finished, and the number of houses now sitting empty in America has reached a staggering 18.6 million — including 2.3 million currently on the market. Read more on 6.5 Million Foreclosures, 18.6 Million Vacant Homes…
 

Old Jazzbo Hippie Claims Cheney Just Invaded Iraq For The Oil

Some little hipster clarinet player from NYU is claiming the Iraq invasion and occupation was all about securing oil supplies for America. Oh and what is that sticking out of Jazzbo Al’s tattered raincoat? A worn paperback of Ayn Rand’s “Atlas Shrugged,” which he actually first read when she was writing it, when he was screwing some gal in Rand’s “inner circle” and writing angry letters to the New York Times about how “parasites who persistently avoid either purpose or reason perish as they should.” That’s right, we’re talking about former Federal Reserve chairman Alan Greenspan! Read more on Old Jazzbo Hippie Claims Cheney Just Invaded Iraq For The Oil…