Tag Archives: houses

  Jimmy Build World

Jimmy Carter Built That

This looks a lot like 'puttering'
We have some Nice Time for you, and it is Jimmy and Rosalynn Carter building more houses for more people, as they do. This Habitat for Humanity house is in Fort Worth, Texas, one of over a hundred homes in the Dallas-Fort Worth area that Habitat is building or repairing in a manic burst of barn-raising this week. Read more on Jimmy Carter Built That…
  inside smells like fresh-baked paultard

Own a ‘Great Piece of History': Buy Ron Paul’s Dumpy House

Well, this is embarrassing. Ron Paul had an investment that wasn’t gold? FOR SALE! You too can fuck where Ron Paul fucked his wife for decades and jerk off where Rand Paul jerked off for the very first time! Only $325,000! Read more on Own a ‘Great Piece of History': Buy Ron Paul’s Dumpy House…
  visions of america

‘New American Home’ Is Vulgar Monument To America’s Tacky Dreams

Nothing else legal is as evil as the American Housebuilding Industry. Pretty much everything wrong with this country — from the oil wars it fights abroad to the morally crippled exurban old people at Tea Party rallies to their unwanted adult children living in squalid fourth-ring apartment complexes on a diet of SSI and methamphetamine — can be blamed on the boom-bust construction-financing cycle of destructive, mindless residential tract cancer growths across this once-pretty nation. But even after the massive global disaster caused by the American construction/mortgage Ponzi scheme, there’s still a residential construction industry! And it is having a festival or convention or whatever, in Florida (obvs), and it is here that these awful people anointed the 8,400-square-feet single-family mausoleum you see here as the “New American Home of 2011.” Read more on ‘New American Home’ Is Vulgar Monument To America’s Tacky Dreams…
  hobo names

Andrew Romanoff Sells House To Fund Campaign, Hopes To Be America’s First Homeless Senator

Colorado Democrat Andrew Romanoff is having trouble raising money for his Senate primary campaign against Sen. Michael Bennet, so he decided to go the “desperate homeless man making bad decisions” route, as he sold his house and gave to his campaign the $325,000 he got out of it. “I’m never home anyway,” Romanoff said. And you will never be home ever again, Romanoff, as you will spend the rest of your days turning tricks in seedy Colorado ski resorts after you lose. Read more on Andrew Romanoff Sells House To Fund Campaign, Hopes To Be America’s First Homeless Senator…
  real estate market

Check Out George Bush’s Sexy New Dallas Home

George W. Bush did indeed buy a house for himself and his wife Laura and his two rat dogs as well! It is in the rich area of Dallas, which is probably a suburb! Look! Read more on Check Out George Bush’s Sexy New Dallas Home…
  uncreditworthy customers

Bushes Disrespects America By Planning To Buy A Home, In Dallas

Can you even believe this George Bush. While all of you people and everyone else are having your homes foreclosed by the Subprimes, PRESIDENT MONEYBAGS over here and his smoker wife “Laura” are going to *buy* a home, to *live* in. “Laura Bush confirmed that she and the President are buying a house in Dallas, about two hours from his beloved Prairie Chapel Ranch in Crawford, Texas.” Superfluous! Read more on Bushes Disrespects America By Planning To Buy A Home, In Dallas…
  little pink houses for you and me

Mitt Romney Owns Every Mansion On Earth

Everybody knows that poor old John McCain owns so many wonderful luxury homes in Arizona and California and Communist France that he literally has no idea how many wonderful luxury homes he owns — after all, that’s Cindy’s accounting firm’s job, counting up the stuff! But a shocking new study reveals that likely McCain running mate Mitt Romney literally owns fifty-five houses. Read more on Mitt Romney Owns Every Mansion On Earth…
  elitist maps

McCain’s Houses Are Mostly Condos, Which Don’t Count

The DNC has sent us this lovely map of John McCain’s houses and airplanes and gnome slaves. Since they’ve made it terribly unreadable, you may view it full size in right here. But to the point: this is devastating you see! Because most of his properties are “condominiums,” a fancy rich word that the well-to-do use when referring to what common folks call “apartments.” And can you even believe this Fun Fact that one of McCain’s “condos” — that is rich slang for “condominiums” — has a concierge, a French word meaning, “house slave who shows rich people the least congested route to the airport during rush hour.” Read more on McCain’s Houses Are Mostly Condos, Which Don’t Count…
  fun!

McCain Hits Back: ‘Obama Million$ Elite Bitter Cling Arugula Rezko Black’

This thing about John McCain’s houses is too good. John McCain cannot remember how many houses he owns, because he doesn’t really own any, because his wife inherited most of them. You know, his wife, Cindy — the same Cindy whose father bought WALNUTS! a seat in Congress as a wedding gift. John McCain’s life has been so kooky! And that’s why his campaign released a comical statement today in response to Obama’s “Seven Houses” ad. It is, how shall we say, loaded? Read more on McCain Hits Back: ‘Obama Million$ Elite Bitter Cling Arugula Rezko Black’…
  elite homeowners

Virginia Governor Tim Kaine Cracks Wise About John McCain’s Millions Of Homes

OK, now that thing Peggy Noonan wrote about Tim Kaine’s hair makes sense. But that is not the point! The point is Tim Kaine made a crack about how John McCain can’t count very high, because John McCain is a rich man who makes his wife’s slaves do his counting for him. [YouTube] Read more on Virginia Governor Tim Kaine Cracks Wise About John McCain’s Millions Of Homes…
  annals of real estate

The Bushes Are House Hunting In Dallas!

It’s easy to forget that some other guy was president before the McCain/Obama joint rulership of America began. The other guy’s name was “George Bush,” and he flew around the world dancing with the natives and bombing nonexistent nuke installations. But now that Dick Cheney has tired of operating the chip in his brain, George Bush needs a new place to live, so he has dispatched his wife to investigate every cavernous tacky 7,000-square-foot limestone piece of shit in the greater Dallas area. Let’s explore the possibilities, together. Read more on The Bushes Are House Hunting In Dallas!…
 

Two-Journalist Families Can Only Afford $1.75M Houses

The heartbreaking message of this Washingtonian item is that journalists who marry each other are doomed to sell their ramshackle houses for only $1.75 million, but reporters who “marry up” can buy $2.95-million houses. Read more on Two-Journalist Families Can Only Afford $1.75M Houses…