house republicans
House Republicans Threaten To Kill 1.9 Million Jobs To Try To Make Like Eight Or Nine Jobs Max
Republicans love jobs. Jobs jobs jobs. All they want to do is make jobs. They’re the mayors of Jobland, where jobs grow on jobbies. In 2012 alone, they’ve sponsored the Jobs Score Act, the Do Your Job Act, the Bridge to Jobs Act, the Mid-Atlantic Energy and Jobs Act, the— You get the point. They [...]
House Republicans Aching To Destroy Another Useful Thing, The ACS
The House passed an amendment Wednesday night to get rid of the American Community Survey entirely, on Privacy Grounds. Oh, god, you can hear them through your windows probably, fapping about their privacy. The ACS is a mandatory survey with 48 questions that a few hundred thousand people are chosen to fill out each month. [...]
House GOP Mysteriously Filled With Spirit of Compromise
Oh look, here is an unusual sequence of words that is popping up on the newswires: “Republican leaders in the House of Representatives on Monday dropped their demand for spending reductions to pay for extending a tax cut for 160 million American workers, setting up a likely breakthrough for agreement with Democrats.” Interesting. Is this [...]
House GOP Angry Over Word ‘God’ Being Left Out of Air Force Joke
The official motto of some obscure Air Force acquisitions office WAS, translated from Latin, “Doing God’s work with other people’s money.” Ha ha. They at least have a morose sense of humor about using taxpayer money to procure killing machines! UNTIL, that is, some cabal of whining atheists complained bitterly about the use of any [...]
House GOP Earning Salary Today Worrying About Strip Clubs
Oh how thoughtful, House Republicans are bringing to the floor today a bill to close some kind of sexy-sounding “strip-club loophole” in what, campaign spending disclosure rules or something? No? NO. Oh right, it’s a bill meant to stop all the silly misbehaving poors from spending their welfare money at strip clubs. No wonder they [...]
Angsty House GOP Ends Year In Favor of Higher Taxes, To Be Emo
Well, this makes sense: John Boehner announced that House Republicans expect to vote down tonight a two-month payroll tax cut extension that passed 89-10 in the Senate, presumably to round out the year in teabagger obstructionism with a full-circle reversal of the defining GOP platform for the last million years, “not raising taxes.” Nobody even [...]
House GOP Decries Dems Doing Same Thing They Just Did To Win Majority
This is why politics in all its forms is permanently terrible and you should go read a fishing blog or play Angry Birds or something other than reading this crap for all eternity: “House Republican freshmen admit that their so-called ‘MediScare’ attacks on Democrats helped them win a big majority in 2010. Democrats had voted [...]
Republicans Retreat From Brave Fight Against Government Rape Regulations
House Republicans have given up their noble battle to change what counts as rape in their latest proposed bill to ban federal funding for abortions (except, as it has always been, in cases such as rape). It’s a cowardly compromise that upsets a proud nation of people who all hope one day they too will [...]
House GOP Deficit Plan Shows They Hate Poors, Federal Workers, Egypt
The House Republican leadership is continuing its tireless mission of pitching legislation that will never become law, like spending cuts they say will save $2.5 trillion over 10 years. Some of this is in specific cuts, like a “$1 million mohair subsidy,” which is bravely included despite the overwhelming political power of goats. But much [...]
House GOP Pretending They Can Repeal Health Care To Honor Giffords
John Boehner and House Republicans have enjoyed their assassination vacation, but they don’t have time to try out the titles of any other Sarah Vowell books, because they have to spend next week performing their most important legislative achievement of the next two years: pretending they can repeal Obamacare. This is what Gabrielle Giffords would [...]
Erick Erickson Wishes Republican Party Would Feed Him More Butter
Boo! Why did the Republican Party have to come out this morning with a list of “policies” and “beliefs”? That’s no fun. The only policy they need is “the economy sucks and your president doesn’t look like you,” but John Boehner decided to write up a big “Pledge for America” because he has never accomplished [...]
Watch The GOP Try To Convince That Guy Who Landed A Plane On The Hudson To Run For Congress
Who’s someone people like? The Sullenberger guy, Chesley B. Sully Sullenberger, who became famous for not crashing an airplane last summer or whenever it was. Anyway, coincidentally, you know who the Republicans decided would make a great new congressman from California? So reports The Hill, with signature Cheeky Juxtaposition: “Republicans hoped the hero who saved [...]
Introducting The Latest Health Care Lie-Meme, Starring Michele Bachmann!
Here is overrated piece of performance art Michele Bachmann suggesting on the House floor last night that, you know actually, if you look at the first letter of the first word on each even-numbered page of the latest iteration of the Democrats’ health care bill, it spells out the following: “CHILDREN, TEENAGE CHILDREN, COULD BE [...]
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