house of representatives
Killjoys Nancy Pelosi and John Boehner announced the end of the 200-year-old House Page program for budgetary reasons, because it was somehow costing the government $5 million a year to educate and employ 70 high school students. That is what, the same as the budget for all of America’s thousands of other crappy public high [...]
America’s collective sigh of disgust was interrupted during the House vote on the debt ceiling bill (it passed 269-161) last night when Congresswoman Gabby Giffords made her first appearance back in Congress since being shot through the head in January. It is excellent to see Giffords waving to the chamber’s wild applause as she casts [...]
Ruh-roh, House lawmakers have found time in their busy day avoiding debt talks to scold Obama for sending a few shiny war toys over to Libya, where NATO is still busy bombing Dictator Death for whatever reason that makes him worse than the guy killing all the Syrians. Oil, probably? Yeah, so quit doing that, [...]
As you waited in line for a jumbo slice of pizza at Costco this weekend, did you notice that something was missing? Has the candy aisle at your local grocery store disappeared or been replaced with a shelf full of lettuce? If you have checked your fat son or daughter’s bedroom and noticed that there [...]
This poor stimulus bill has been kicked around and blown up a million times, completely dismembered, bathed in acid — basically Robocop, except boring, and with money. So what secret provisions did House and Senate negotiators slip into the bill into order to win the eternal fealty of the lobster queen Susan Collins and the [...]
NAME YOUR FAVORITE PORTION OF THE HOUSE STIMULUS BILL GUTTED IN THE SENATE VERSION: It’s easy with this handy graph from ProPublica, helpfully coded in Christmasy red and green! Our favorite part: the 21 billion dollars of “school construction and technology” projects that vanished between the House and the Senate votes. Senators know that, in [...]
Barack Obama is very young, but he will be working with a Congress full of codgers who say, “Ennnh?” and urge him to speak louder into their ear trumpets. The average age of a senator is 63, while the average House member is 57. That, in layman’s terms, is “super old.” It should be noted [...]
A supersecret source sends us this important update on the sad abandoned Republican street urchin/chimbley sweep cabal that got stuck fighting for lower gas prices while the decadent world around them yawned and left for vacation. These oppressed legislators issued a special request via the emails!
Wonkette operative The Intern has some shocking news about what’s been going on in the House of Representatives ever since Nancy Pelosi turned off the lights and made everybody go on vacation. It is basically the Thunderdome all over again, only with Republican ninjas.
Short of cleaning restrooms at the Minneapolis airport when Larry Craig’s in town, there is probably no job in America more thankless than running against Speaker of the House Nancy Pelosi for her Congressional seat. One brave woman has stepped up to the challenge and is raising a fair amount of money in her quest [...]
