house of representatives
Hero Oklahoma Rep. Leads Charge To Save Poor From Eating Food
DDM here, drinking an Irish Coffee and wondering how the GOP will find new ways to screw the poors today. I’m new here, and have only been guestblogging for about a week. But I want to submit an entry for Legislative Shitmuffin of the Year (Federal Level Edition). He is my old pal, Rep. Frank Lucas (R-Black [...]
Gracious House Of Representatives To NJ, CT And NY: Fine, Here’s Your Stupid Hurricane Money
Another guest post from your comrade Fakakta South. The House finally voted Tuesday to graciously give out approximately $50.5 billion to the states hit hardest by the freakishly strong Frankenstorm of the Century, Hurricane Sandy. The measure passed with a vote of 241-180, with 179 Republicans voting against giving any money to anyone ever again [...]
Can You Guess Which Congresscritter Cast Lone ‘No’ Vote On Actually Sane Bill About ‘Lunatics’?
Here at Wonkette, we never ever forget to be unrelentingly smug and cynical about the U.S. House of Representatives. And really, why the hell not? They’re a veritable parade of horribles. See, for example, everything Ron Paul has ever done. (We are only linking to the most recent awful Ron Paul thing because you do not [...]
Bright Young Thing Luke Russert Asks Nancy Pelosi Why An Old Lady Like Her Won’t Step Aside For Someone Young and Cute
So here is your video of Luke Russert being an ass to Nancy Pelosi at her press conference announcing she intends to continue as House Minority Leader. Because, surely there are some 24-year-olds who would be really good at Dem Leadering. Doesn’t that old lady know that Gen Y always thinks they get to be [...]
Pro-Pot Primary Challenger Harshes Texas Congressman Silvestre Reyes’s Mellow
What was it that that turned the tide for 40-year-old former El Paso councilman Beto O’Rourke, a guero dude in a supermajority Latino Texas district, in his quest to unseat eight-term incumbent and totally cool drug warrior Congressman Silvestre Reyes? Was it the Drug War? Probably. Was it also almost $200 large for TV ads [...]
House Republicans Locate Lone Instance When Equal Rights Apply
House Republicans have at long last identified a segment of a woman’s existence when they feel she deserves federal protection against discrimination: the six or so weeks between when the sex of a fetus can be determined and when it reaches the fetal viability mark past which abortion is limited in most states. Sorry, lady [...]
Nikki Haley Has Best-Ever Legal Defense Strategy Against Ethics Probe
South Carolina’s dingbat governor Nikki Haley, famous chiefly for being the only human ever rumored to make hot forbidden love with a political blogger, has lately been in trouble for allegedly making hot forbidden legislative favors for her health company employer while she was still a state representative and doing “secret consulting work,” which sounds [...]
Steny Hoyer Picks Hopeless Nerd Slapfight With John Boehner
Just look at overgrown leather briefcase John Boehner making a shameful display of his mathematical prowess during a Fox News interview like he doesn’t even know that the viewers at home are going red and puffy in the face trying to follow along with a simple calculation of odds: “I would say that there is [...]
Heartbroken House GOP Just Wants Its Beloved Earmarks Back
Aw, the House GOP is feeling so lonely for its old boyfriend Earmarks that it is going around Congress quietly surveying friends to see how mad everyone would be if it got back together with Earmarks. Everything was better with Earmarks, wasn’t it, GOP Rep. Steven LaTourette? “You can’t get 218 votes (out of 242 [...]
Rep. Louie Gohmert Is Talking About Caribou Sex In Congress
Have you ever wished that Texas Rep. Louie Gohmert would stop and take some time to explain what makes caribou want to hump? Sure you have. Here you go: “So when they want to go on a date, they invite each other to head over to the [oil] pipeline,” he says, and you can imagine [...]
House of Representatives Holds Yelling Match Over Who Is Working Less
Here’s a bit of hilarious congressional procedural warfare we will type about to avoid posting whatever additional lunatic opinions Rick Santorum has expressed in the course of the day: House minority squad captain Nancy Pelosi led a small army of six kamikaze Democratic representatives in a storming of the chamber floor to stage some kind [...]
SOPA-Loving Congress Also Loves Downloading Pirated Files
Hey, everyone still remember the Stop Online Piracy Act that the cranky old farts over at famous Washington senior center Congress have been feverishly gluing together during craft time, to try to make all that noise from “the tubes” go away? More and more people really, really hate the bill! This is not surprising, because [...]
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