• May 27, 2012

house of representatives

The House of Representatives thrust 299 irate middle fingers into the air in response to military leaders’ claim that the United States does not need yet another missile interceptor site with a vote Friday in favor of authorizing $100 million to start planning for an East Coast missile defense system that U.S. Northern Command and [...]

South Carolina’s dingbat governor Nikki Haley, famous chiefly for being the only human ever rumored to make hot forbidden love with a political blogger, has lately been in trouble for allegedly making hot forbidden legislative favors for her health company employer while she was still a state representative and doing “secret consulting work,” which sounds [...]

The House of Representatives gave a thundering seal of approval on Thursday to a delightful American version of a News of the World-style private information-stealing initiative except that because it is the American version, it must be bigger and more hairy and makes it particularly not illegal for armies of nosy trolls to collect and [...]

Just look at overgrown leather briefcase John Boehner making a shameful display of his mathematical prowess during a Fox News interview like he doesn’t even know that the viewers at home are going red and puffy in the face trying to follow along with a simple calculation of odds: “I would say that there is [...]

Aw, the House GOP is feeling so lonely for its old boyfriend Earmarks that it is going around Congress quietly surveying friends to see how mad everyone would be if it got back together with Earmarks. Everything was better with Earmarks, wasn’t it, GOP Rep. Steven LaTourette? “You can’t get 218 votes (out of 242 [...]

Have you ever wished that Texas Rep. Louie Gohmert would stop and take some time to explain what makes caribou want to hump? Sure you have. Here you go: “So when they want to go on a date, they invite each other to head over to the [oil] pipeline,” he says, and you can imagine [...]

Here’s a bit of hilarious congressional procedural warfare we will type about to avoid posting whatever additional lunatic opinions Rick Santorum has expressed in the course of the day: House minority squad captain Nancy Pelosi led a small army of six kamikaze Democratic representatives in a storming of the chamber floor to stage some kind [...]

Hey, everyone still remember the Stop Online Piracy Act that the cranky old farts over at famous Washington senior center Congress have been feverishly gluing together during craft time, to try to make all that noise from “the tubes” go away? More and more people really, really hate the bill! This is not surprising, because [...]

It’s a FESTIVUS MIRACLE, kids, get ready for it: Barack Obama and Harry Reid and millions of Americans wanted A Thing, and the House Republicans finally just agreed to give it to them! It was not easy! House Republicans passed the two-month payroll tax cut extension with a fun “unanimous consent” vote that didn’t force [...]

Woah! Ha ha, so in the last 48 hours the political narrative in Washington has followed a life cycle from “House Republicans won’t agree to the Senate’s two-month extension of a payroll tax cut for the freebie-loving middle class” to, now, “House Republicans are LITERALLY SETTING FIRE TO THE PARTY ITSELF,” and the Republican party [...]

What, were people scandalized or something? SEXISTS, ALL OF THEM. [Animated gif via Wonkette operative "Nathan R."]

Happy newz everyone, the most-hated Congress in all of American history has finally Gotten The Message and started passing some exciting jerbs legisla– HA HA JUST KIDDING, ALWAYS KIDDING, FOREVER. No, the only issue that gets broad-based House support from 229 Republicans and 43 Democrats these days (besides their brave efforts to reaffirm “In God [...]

Here is a political campaign ad that perfectly illustrates why it is sometimes hard to tell the difference between high-concept video art and complete crap, and why they are sometimes (usually) the same thing. WHUT, dear Vishnu, is any of this? Whatever it is, we like it. It’s equal parts D+ horror movie trailer, Taiwanese [...]

House representatives thought fit to claim their salary today by overwhelmingly passing a bill “reaffirming” that “In God We Trust” is still the official slogan of the United States, even though this has been the case every single day since 1956. Why bother with this routine bit of depraved political theater? Because according to the [...]

Imbecile Texas Republican Louie Gohmert is rolling around on the floor of his congressional office in a fit of snickering and spittle, because he figured out that no lawmaker had officially proposed Barack Obama’s American Jobs Act to Congress. This means that technically speaking, the name “American Jobs Act” did not yet exist in the [...]