Tag Archives: hostess

  job creators

Hostess Executives Teach Us All A Little Lesson About Personal Responsibility

Today is really a red-letter day for corporate malfeasance and incompetence here at Wonkette, isn’t it? It is! And such a day wouldn’t be complete without a discussion of the Hostess CEO, whose corporate “maneuvers” might “deprive” workers of some of their pension money by using it for “operations.” (This is corporate speak for saying that the CEOs padded executive pay by stealing money from worker pensions.) Read more on Hostess Executives Teach Us All A Little Lesson About Personal Responsibility…
  flotus files

Second Term Michelle Obama Will Win Grammy, Keep Stealing Your Favorite Snacks

Good day to you, FLOTUS fans! How have you been lately? Have you been obeying your morning arm-workout regimen or have you been binge eating in your bathroom? Michelle is always watching, you know! Your FLOTUS correspondent has been busy these past few weeks, considering a run for Jesse Jackson, Jr.’s congressional seat. (This is very time consuming, as one must rack up a sufficient number of felony convictions in order to be considered a truly viable candidate.) But now, rejoice we shall! For our Queen First Lady “Let Them Eat Egg Whites” Michelle Obama has been granted a second term. And so we must begin the required speculation: were these first four years just a preamble to something much greater? Will the REAL Michelle Obama finally show her true colors, and if so, how much will these colors cost us, the peasant taxpayers? That depends on how many obese 5th graders she will hire to carry her to the Grammy Awards. Read more on Second Term Michelle Obama Will Win Grammy, Keep Stealing Your Favorite Snacks…
  journamalism

‘The Atlantic’ Finds Hostess’s Real Victims: Private Equity Guys Who Will Probably Lose Their Investment

Now that the Hostess closure has begun to affect all of us, Jordan Weissman of The Atlantic will discuss what’s really important here, namely: whose fault it is. And duh, of course it was not the Bain-style “private equity” managers for loading the shitty snack cake company up with debt and then legitimately raping it with management fees; no, it is only their fault for making “poor decisions,” mostly the decisions to only slash union workers pay “a lot” instead of “maquiladora-style.” Read more on ‘The Atlantic’ Finds Hostess’s Real Victims: Private Equity Guys Who Will Probably Lose Their Investment…
  capitalism sheds a tear

America Mourns Death Of Snack Food Murdered By Union Thugs

Today is a sad day for Americans because we are losing a quintessentially American dessert, maybe forever. This is mostly the fault of commie liberal “labor” unions who have the NERVE to demand a living wage for their work, which makes the whole thing double plus sad. Of course, it isn’t actually the fault of labor unions but corporate spokespeople the media has SAID it’s the fault of labor unions so CASE CLOSED, no lessons to learn here other than labor unions mean no dessert, ever, for anyone, in Obama’s America. Read more on America Mourns Death Of Snack Food Murdered By Union Thugs…