December 11, 2013
[Updated at 8:05 PM] We are getting very little news out of Suwanee, Georgia, where five firefighters who responded to a medical call are reportedly being held hostage by a gunman. Amazingly, it seems to have been at least three months since the last time this happened.
Why does the Obama administration insist on holding Hillary Clinton “hostage” by making her a kickass Secretary of State who’s awesome at her job and more popular than she’s ever been in her life? Dick Morris would like to know! Or rather, Dick Morris would not like to know, he would just like to assert [...]
Jesus, why does Ben Quayle have to be so creepy in every ad he makes? What is even going on here? Oh, we see, he’s stuck a gun into this woman’s back and told her to read the cue card. That’s why her face organs are projecting pure, doe-eyed fear at the voters of Arizona. [...]
BREAKING NEWS: That crazy guy who was maybe strapped with a bomb and took hostages in the Discovery Channel headquarters in Silver Spring was shot (UPDATE: and killed) and all the hostages are safe. Hooray! His name is James Lee, and he protested there a lot, and one time he threw thousands of dollars in [...]
This American president, he has fleets of destroyers and an army of fearsome AT-AT walkers at his disposal and still he cannot contend with a very organized band of Africans trolling the waters off the Somalian coast. What gives, Obama? Why do you love pirates so much?