hosni mubarak
The Jon Stewart Of Egypt Has His Very Own Glenn Beck
by Lisa Wines
If it wasn’t for Jon Stewart making them all laugh through the pain, libruhls would have slapped their own faces to death a long time ago. But now, the same comic relief is available to Egyptians, who are in much need of humor. Egypt’s two presidential contenders have each declared themselves the winner every day [...]
Egypt’s toppled president Hosni Mubarak is “clinically depressed” as he remains in a Sharm el Sheikh hospital, a senior Egyptian official told FOX News Tuesday. Doctors said the ousted leader spends all day in bed and is eating very little with his wife Suzanne by his side, the official added. Look what you did, Obama’s [...]
Violent Egyptian Military Junta Interrogates Hosni Mubarak
Hey, Hosni Mubarak is “back” — from Comaland? — and has been detained for questioning by the new and terrible Egyptian military regime (which loves murdering demonstrators and throwing helpless bloggers in jail). And now Mubarak will be forced to answer allegations of widespread corruption, abuse of authority and the killing of protesters during his [...]
Bachmann Going To Serve Only One Term As President, Reinstall Mubarak
by Jack Stuef
“I realize Michele Bachmann has pretty much already sewn up the 2012 election,” you’re saying to yourself, “but I’m worried she will be just another one of those two-term-grabbing disappointments.” Fear not! Michele Bachmann is dedicated to the cause, not her place in history. “I’m a principled reformer, and my goal is to see the [...]
Madison Police Chief Says Walker’s Comments ‘Unsettling and Troubling’
by Ken Layne
Unlike the power-worshiping people-hating media whores who dismissed the whole fake-David Koch call that Scott Walker totally believed was really his boss David Koch, the Madison chief of police didn’t brush off Governor Walker’s telephone report card intended for a billionaire corporate master. Madison Police Chief Noble Wray says Walker’s recorded conversation about his plans [...]
Wisconsin’s Union Rapists Demand Collective Raping Rights
Lara Logan’s tragic sexual assault is NOTHING compared to the horrors she might have experienced at the hands of those greasy union rapists in Wisconsin. [Big Journalism] Uh oh, the famous internet destination for truth, Snopes.com, is secretly the holocaust-loving handiwork of America’s most evil Jew, George Soros. [RPN] President Obama keeps all his best [...]
All Deposed Arab Dictators Are Now In Comas For Some Reason
by Jack Stuef
Zine El-Abidine Ben Ali – whose ousting as Tunisian president triggered the popular uprisings across the Middle East – is in a coma in a Saudi hospital, a family friend said yesterday. First Mubarak, now this guy. What is it with these guys and comas? Is it the Middle East’s way of falling on your [...]
Here’s the Topless Craigslist Pic of Mubarak You Wanted
by Ken Layne
Did you have any doubt that this existed? Los Angeles cartoonist Lalo Alcaraz posted it to Twitter yesterday. But the Internet is so slow in Egypt this week, it took until just now for it to finally download on Hosni Mubarak’s iPhone. And then he resigned and Egypt was free of tyranny, just like that! [...]
Mubarak Quits! Finally … Also, Military Takes Over
by Ken Layne
The Egyptian Revolution is Victorious! Well, Hosni Mubarak finally quit, after last night’s ridiculously offensive quitting speech that actually ended up being a dull lecture full of lies by the guy who hasn’t budged in three decades. Anyway, now he’s gone! Must’ve been the shoes thrown all over the place, because that’s how we got [...]
GOODBYE FOREVER: “Hosni Mubarak has resigned as president of Egypt, the country’s vice president said in a brief statement Friday. Omar Suleiman, speaking on state television, said Mubarak had decided to give up ‘the office of the president of the republic’ and said the Supreme Council of the armed forces would “run the affairs of [...]
Mubarak Says He Ain’t Leaving, Egyptians Go Double-Nuts
by Ken Layne
Hey guess who just gave his long-awaited resignation speech and DIDN’T ACTUALLY QUIT? We were just listening to this on BBC World Service in the car and about 90 seconds into the live translation, we said to ourselves, “Uhh, he’s not quitting.” And it took only a few more minutes for the demonstrators in Liberation [...]
Hey Look, We Voted In the CPAC Straw Poll
by Jack Stuef
Mubarak/Lee 2012!
Terrorist American Public Standing With Islamists Instead of #1 Capitalist
by Jack Stuef
As many commentators, such as Sarah Palin, will tell you, the U.S. cannot allow Egypt to become a democracy because its people might want their laws to reflect their religion. That would be great, except their religion is not Christianity, it’s Islam. So they’re all terrorists. But now, according to a Gallup poll, the American [...]
U.S. Sends Egypt a Script For How This Will All Play Out
by Jack Stuef
For some reason (won the journalist street beatdown sweepstakes?), Christiane Amanpour scored an exclusive interview with Hosni Mubarak, and this is what she was told: “He told me that he is fed up with being president.” Fed up! You know, it was fun for thirty years, but he’s not just feeling it anymore for some [...]
And Then the Mubarak Thugs Showed Up To Beat the Unarmed Protestors
by Jack Stuef
Now that Hosni Mubarak has sort of admitted he is relinquishing power (he will be so surprised when Egypt re-elects him in the fall with 97% of the vote even though he won’t have been on the ballot!), the military politely asked if the protestors to stop it. They obviously knew something, because today crowds [...]
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