Tag Archives: horses

  the horsey set

Why Won’t Mitt Romney Root For His Wife’s Dumb Horse?

Mitt Romney has taken a look at how they do things over there in old England-Land, and has quickly come to the well-justified conclusion that their Olympics are just a hot metric tonne of garbage compared to the awesome USA American Olympics he ran in Salt Lake City. But you’d think that he’d at least take some time out of hating the 2012 Olympics in general to show a little love for America’s greatest Olympian! We’re of course talking about Rafalca, the dressage horse partly owned by Mitt’s wife Ann. Why is he pretending that he hasn’t spent long evenings out in the stables, feeding Rafalca carrots and pouring out his soul? Read more on Why Won’t Mitt Romney Root For His Wife’s Dumb Horse?…
  it's morning in america

Voter Turnout High, White At RNC Secret Ballot Election

The 168 members of the Republican National Committee will cast their secret ballots today to decide who gets to be the next RNC Chair, and exit polls already suggest that Michael Steele lost by a million secret racial slurs. Will the white lady from Missouri win? Or maybe the white guy with the funny name? It’s difficult to say, since all of the candidates who are not Michael Steele are white and love Ronald Reagan and machine gun deregulation. It’s a win-win-win-win-Michael Steele loses! You can probably follow Michael Steele’s Adventures in Unemployment at streetguy.blogspot.com. [AP/The Hill] Read more on Voter Turnout High, White At RNC Secret Ballot Election… Read more on Voter Turnout High, White At RNC Secret Ballot Election…
  cartoon violence

America’s Saddest Birthday Ever

By the Comics Curmudgeon Birthdays are always a riot when you’re young, right? The cake … the presents … the party … it’s your day, and your parents are the ones who organize the whole thing. But as you grow older, your birthday becomes more melancholy, eventually representing both an occasion where you have to make merry even if your heart isn’t it and a reminder of your encroaching decrepitude. So too is this true for America! Our nation’s bickering gay dads, Thomas Jefferson and John Adams, died on the country’s 50th birthday, and it’s been all downhill ever since. After jump, find out how our country is trying to cheer itself up for the Big Two-Three-Four. Read more on America’s Saddest Birthday Ever…
  southern culture on the skids

Alabama Agriculture Commissioner Candidate Makes Awesome, Terrifying Campaign Ad

Here’s Dale Peterson, who is just a little bit INTENSE, especially about his mealy-mouthed jackass opponents in the Republican primary who are just doing such terrible stuff like stealing signs and making jokes on the Facebook. Is this a time to joke? Dale Peterson’s gonna come pump you full of birdshot you damned pansy communist. This is our favorite campaign ad of 2010. [YouTube via Wonkette operative “Ben R.”] Read more on Alabama Agriculture Commissioner Candidate Makes Awesome, Terrifying Campaign Ad…
  ceremonies of the horsemen

Vladimir Putin Went a-Ridin’

Well what else do we have for today’s special picture series, “Insane World Leaders Looking Insane Again”? How about Ren Faire sex hero Vladimir Putin, the once and future Dwarf Lord of Russia, clad in the fur-skins of eleven slaughtered Mongols, his belly full of youngling’s blood, a-ridin’ out to the Valley of Armageddon? How about that? [Foreign Policy via Wonkette operative “Aaron S.”] Read more on Vladimir Putin Went a-Ridin’…
  c'mon

JUST LIKE IN THAT MOVIE, TWILIGHT: “WEST DEPTFORD — A 61-year-old South Jersey man is in custody after being arrested on charges he delivered a fake horse’s head to the Gloucester County office of Senate President Steve Sweeney.” God just CHILL FOR LIKE FIVE DAYS and they’ll fix your stupid property taxes, okay? [Star-Ledger] Read more on …
  cartoon violence

The Opposite Of Progress

By the Comics CurmudgeonHey, kids, remember your civics class, where you learned that there are other parts of the government that aren’t currently controlled by Muslims? There’s the so-called “Supreme Court,” which everyone ignores most of the time right up until they legalize gayness; but then there’s this other thing, whaddya call it, Congress, and there’s like dozens and dozens of those jackholes, so even though they aren’t “worse” than President Antichrist on an individual level, there are more of them, so it kind of balances out! Anyway, one half of Congress just passed some crazy-ass law last week. How did they manage to do this? Simple: DEVIL MAGIC. Read more on The Opposite Of Progress…
  they shoot horses don't they

SOUTHERN GOTHIC: “Rielle Hunter childhood horse assassination hands election to Obama.” [Gawker]
  cults

Tim Kaine Talks To Reporters At Creepy Horse-Drowning Festival

Imaginary Democratic vice presidential frontrunner Gov. Tim Kaine is now being harassed by the press all over his weird state of Virginia. He told reporters this morning that he doesn’t “have any idea about where the process is” and he hasn’t talked to Obama “for a number of weeks, since before his trip.” He is already the Vice President of Lies, it seems. But where did he tell reporters these terrible lies? “Kaine, widely rumored to be at the top of Obama’s veep short list, attended the annual Chincoteague Pony Swim this morning with his 13-year old daughter.” Oh, how predictable: our would-be second black vice president is a deranged horse-drowning fetishist. Read more on Tim Kaine Talks To Reporters At Creepy Horse-Drowning Festival…
 

Meet Barack Obama’s Graceful Steed!

This is a hybrid zebra-unicorn, on which Barack Obama will fly to Denver and then storm the convention. Hey, late-deciding superdelegates, thinking of voting for Clinton are you? Well watch Barry’s steed shoot Hopeful biracial death lasers into your tummies and then maybe think it over. What should we name this, the quadrupedal monster that is the one we have been waiting for? [AP Photo] Read more on Meet Barack Obama’s Graceful Steed!…
 

OUR HUNGRY NATION: Two newspapers put “Horse for Sale” ad in the “Good Things To Eat” classifieds. [AZ Central]
 

Somebody Get L. Ron Romney a Prop Horse!

Teddy Roosevelt rode his to Cuba to start a war with Spain. Ronald Reagan had one in Santa Barbara. Bill Richardson has one now. George Allen had one too, until he cut off its head and stuffed it in some black family’s mailbox. Read more on Somebody Get L. Ron Romney a Prop Horse!…
 

Gossip Roundup: Afternoon Tea

* Heard on the Hill: William Jefferson already violating House ethics rules, uses official letterhead, House internal mail service to hit up other members for donations… Rep. Stephanie Herseth (D-S.D.) to marry some dude on March 31… TV journos upset that Nancy Pelosi won’t let them broadcast from Statuary Hall today. [Roll Call] * Reliable Source: Pelosi’s “Celebration Concert” tonight at the National Building is off-limits to the press. Attending: Tony Bennett, Carole King, Wyclef Jean, Bruce Hornsby, three former Grateful Dead members, Richard Gere and Amy Brenneman… Fed Chair Ben Bernanke spotted buying funnyman Dave Barry’s Money Secrets. [WP] * Yeas and Nays: Busty blondes love horses: Barbi Twins join Bo Derek in lobbying against horse slaughter. ‘It’s like eating the flag,” says Sia. Quote of the year… Freshman Rep. Zack Space, who replaced Bob Ney, almost hired a cabbie named Ney… Despite being done in Congress forever, Rep. Shelley DraculaCunt Gibbs represented Texas’ 22nd at Ford’s Lying in State party… Nancy Pelosi held a tea party yesterday, Wonder Woman was there for some reason. [Examiner] * Under the Dome: Robert Byrd is addicted to Red Bull. Vodka too, we assume… “Sen. Gordon Smith (R-Ore.) is the proud possessor of an original copy of Ford’s pardon of outgoing President Richard Nixon.” [Hill News] * Rush & Molloy: Former DNC head Terry McAuliffe had great luck raising money from godless Hollywood types, Mike Bloomberg. [NYDN] Read more on Gossip Roundup: Afternoon Tea…
 

Gonna Party Like It’s 1994

Bad news for everybody in Congress: They don’t like you. They really don’t like you. The new NYT/CBS poll shows the “threat level” is at 1994 levels, when that whole Republican Revolution ended 277 years of Democratic control of Congress. Read more on Gonna Party Like It’s 1994…
 

First, They Took Our Horse Meat …

Thanks to the brave passage of the Horse Slaughter Prevention Act, the House of Representatives has proven it is more than a cesspool of criminals that never manages to do any legislating. Read more on First, They Took Our Horse Meat ……
 

Metro Section: Master and Proprietor of Nature

Jordanian hipsters are ahead of the curve, already discussing Middle Eastern “crisis” with detached irony. [My Occupied Territory] James Carville has better Nats tickets than you. [Oxy Moron: Hipster Dork] DCPD now fighting crime with malnourished animals and McCain style “straight-talk.” [Café 227; Time I’ll Never Get Back] Read more on Metro Section: Master and Proprietor of Nature…