Tag: horror

Emergency Cartoon Violence: Dick Morris Has Some Terrible/Hilarious Cartoons On His Website

Haha, remember when your Comics Curmudgeon used to literally read every single political cartoon barfed out by America's political cartooning class, every week, and then make fun of them all for your amusement? Your Comics Curmudgeon remembers this,...

The Obama Administration Assures You That Its Drone-Kill List Is In Good Hands

Good morning, liberals! Did you spend yesterday carefully poring over the extremely long The New York Times article about the list of people the administration carefully compiles, personally selected by the President (except in those cases when they're...

Wal-Mart’s Billions and the Art Museum of Cruelty: A Christmas Carol

Here is a number we've seen bouncing around this week that really makes us want to fire up the old Yule Log, in the sense that the "Yule Log" is a tightly bound human centipede of the richest hundred...

Jackass Bankers Drop Insane Leaflets On Chicago Protesters

What are the nation's nervous mid-level financial managers up to this week? Oh, just freaking the hell out, and making weirdly vague flyers on the office copier to dump on the throngs of protesters outside every day. Wonkette operatives...

‘Hungry Child’ Sesame Street Muppet To Entertain Actual Hungry Children

Because so many millions of American children are plopped in front of the teevee to watch Sesame Street instead of getting any breakfast, what with 45 million people on food stamps and tens of millions with no jobs and...

Chris Christie Makes Fox News Tilt Left

Icon of personal responsibility Chris Christie paid a visit to the fiends at Fox News yesterday, and as this screenshot shows, he nearly caused the entire right-wing cable news channel to tilt left and vanish into the ether. But,...

47,700 Killed and 688,000 Hurt Just Trying To Cross U.S. Streets

Here's a fun statistic covering the past decade of people simply trying to walk somewhere in this no-crosswalk no-sidewalk nation of drive-thrus and six-lane suburban expressways: 47,700 pedestrians killed and another 688,000 pedestrians wounded when they were struck by...

Tea Party Announces National Conference In … Arizona, Obviously

Delightful news, America: Even though Arizona has been shunned by conferences and business travelers and entertainers and tourists with money ever since the "Arrest all the Brown People" law and that insane sheriff in Phoenix with his ritual torture/humiliation...

Sarah Palin Reflects On Stuff, Via Ghostwriters

Surely you’ve been wondering lately, “HMMM, what makes better Hanukkah reading: Sarah Palin’s new book, or that infinite library of Wikileak’d State Department telegrams?" If you enjoy endless Reports of the Obvious (“TOP SECRET: Arabs don’t like Iran!”) and...

Wonkette’s Children’s Treasury of Traditional Thanksgiving Videos

Without the turkey-slaughter stylings of Miss Wasilla, how could any of us really enjoy Thanksgiving? Here's the dropout governor of Alaska before she ditched her job for Hollywood. Look how she doesn't want to touch that filthy animal! Once...

OKAY, ONE MORE PELOSI ANIMATED GIF: Nothing will ever compete with the 21st Century pop-art masterpiece that is today's Wall of Pelosi animated gif seizure triumph, but we could not let this final submission vanish down the Memory Hole...

‘Real World DC’ Cult-Sex Weeping Chamber Blueprints Revealed

What kind of DC buildings generally require a large room called a "confessional," hmmm? Maybe churches? But nobody builds churches anymore. Maybe Michael Steele's dream plans for the new GOP headquarters, where the Republicans can boozily admit to their...

Bob Dylan’s New Album All About Mexican Pig-Flu Pandemic Plague

When word of a surprise new Bob Dylan studio album reached your Wonkette on March 20, we wondered what sort of Actual Hell this record would release, as it is established fact in this first awful decade of the...

Twitter + Swine Flu = Stupid

This might seem nuts, but it turns out that the combination of Twitter and the Pig-Bird-Mexican flu pandemic is a whole lot of Wrong. That is the point of this post, we think, although this quote from CNN sort...

Happy 6th Birthday, Iraq War!

You know what we love more than anything, at Wonkette? Birthdays! Love 'em love 'em love 'em. And there's nothing better than a sixth birthday. Even better than your fifth birthday! So grown up now, and all blown apart,...

Historical First-Ever President Barack Obama Congressional Address Drinking Game!

It's been a long hard road, people. We've had some hard times, havin' some hard times still. But fellow Americans, one thing is true, so undeniably true: George W. Motherfucking Bush Junior is gone. Yes he is! Feels good....