Wonkette

Suburban operative “Carol” writes to Wonkette about the gathering storm: “I live in the suburbs outside Philadelphia, and all of a sudden, in the past week, Ron Paul for President signs are sprouting up everywhere. It’s like some evil gardener replaced all the daffodils with Ron Paul signs. What’s the deal? Do the Paultards not realize he’s out? Do they not care? Is this just some pitiful way to make the Republican primary in Pennsylvania worth a damn?” To answer in order: something, no, yes, Freedom. But what “Carol” sees is no coincidence, because today Ron Paul launched his campaign for Pennsylvania with a glorious speaking tour! MORE »

That “buy a cheeseburger for Cheney” campaign didn’t really work, and the mean old lunatic seems closer than ever to his Viagra-fever dream of nuking Iran before he’s tried and hanged in Paraguay, so what else can people hope might happen to our greatest ever vice president? The liberal New York Times reports that scientists have figured out a way to electrocute Cheney to death from a distance! MORE »

We’ve been so busy with the crucial Chris Peden/Paultards and Obama/Hillary races that we totally neglected to write about the true winners in Texas: People who like to legally own their various dildos and sex devices. A federal appeals court in amoral New Orleans has finally made it legal for Texans to own a half-dozen erotic toys. The ruling was announced on Valentine’s Day, which is super romantic. MORE »