Tag: hooray!

Remember, kids, guns don’t kill people, people kill people (with guns)

Let’s Shoot Up A School Bus On Our Way To The Gun Show: Your Florida Roundup

  Is there an image that better sums up Florida? No, there is not. The story behind this is quite sad — two young girls were shot on a school bus; their injuries are thankfully not life-threatening — and not really...
This is Raging Rob. Enough said.

Michigan Governor Vetoes NRA Bill To Arm Lady-Beaters, World Keeps Turning

In a rare but not unprecedented burst of Republican sanity regarding gun regulation, Michigan Gov. Rick Snyder has done a super decent thing and vetoed a concealed carry gun bill that was crafted, nurtured, and pushed in Michigan by the NRA. The...

Everybody Please Prepare To Have Jim Newell Back At Wonkette, Next Week

HOORAY! That is what your semi-managing editor has to say about this important news, from your beloved past-and-future Wonkette typing monster of Capitol Hill, Jim Newell: An Important Announcement Regarding Your Gawker Political Desk: Goodbye Tuesday greetings from the Gawker Political Desk!...

Americans Gobble Up Lard, Lenders Don’t Gobble Up German Debt

NEW YORK—It's Thanksgiving in America, which can only mean one thing: giant helium balloons have taken over New York City's 7th Avenue for the 85th annual Macy's Thanksgiving Day Parade. OK, two things actually, since Thanksgiving in America also...

YES! Southwest Buys AirTran Which Means You Can Fly Southwest To National Airport

This is the greatest news in the history of aviation: Southwest Airlines, which has sought a presence at Reagan National Airport for years, will finally gain entry through its planned, $1.4 billion cash and stock acquisition of AirTran Airlines. Southwest operates...

WONKETTE PAULTARD PAL GARRETT QUINN GETS BOSTON GLOBE GIG: What happens when people write for your Wonkette? They get hired to write for other things! Joining recent "used to write for Wonkette but just got better gigs" people Juli...

Nancy Pelosi’s Magic Hammer Gives Obama Full Dictatorship of Earth!

Somehow, holding only the White House plus big majorities in the House and Senate after an epic 2008 victory in which Communism ("overwhelming majority of American voters") defeated America, the Fascists have "passed their health care reform legislation" using...

Chelsea Clinton’s Getting Married To the Investment Banker Son of a Federal Prisoner!

Love is in the air! Famous first daughter Chelsea Clinton is getting married to some guy she's shacked up with, in Manhattan. He's a Wall Street hotshot, and everybody loves those guys. And his dad is a convicted felon...

Some Strange Website Is Yelling Mean Things About Your Editor

We have been drawn, via our referrals, to some new thing called the Atlantic Wire, which tells you what every pundit and blogger is writing about at all times! It is the anti-porn. But "incoherence" is our goal here,...

Obama Will Build Magic SuperTrains To Save America, Bypass Teabagger Zones

One of the worst things about America is how much of it you have to deal with, just to get from Worthwhile Point A to Worthwhile Point B. What if you were, for example, having a nice breakfast in...

Whoa, Wonkette Nominated For THREE 2009 ‘Weblog Awards’ Bloggies

Let's see, Oscar nominations, who cares ... oh look, nominations for the 2009 Bloggies are out, and whoa, jesus christ, your Wonkette is nominated for Best Weblog About Politics, Most Humorous Weblog and Best Group Weblog. Yikes! Thank you,...