Tuesday, September 11th, 2007
One of Diaperman David Vitter’s other hookers, in New Orleans — but not the Diaper Gal, apparently — took a lie detector test administered by the President of Lie Detectors and the test proves she had “safe sex” with David Vitter, all the time, in New Orleans, and her pimp was named “Jonathan.” [Times-Picayune]
One of Diaperman David Vitter’s other hookers, in New Orleans — but not the Diaper Gal, apparently — took a lie detector test administered by the President of Lie Detectors and the test proves she had “safe sex” with David Vitter, all the time, in New Orleans, and her pimp was named “Jonathan.” [Times-Picayune]
Former manwhore turned journalist turned blogger Jeff Gannon’s sketchy old employers claim that Jeff Gannon will claim that Karl Rove is a gay homosexual who has sex with other gay homosexual men, just like his adoptive father, whose penis you can see on the internet if you’re into that sort of thing. 
Good news, boys: “Tori” the Escort is going to be in Baghdad’s Green Zone for an extended tour, starting next week! Thanks to the graciousness of the Private Security Company Association of Iraq, Tori from Atlanta will be working out of a secured compound in the green zone, “entertaining all members of the PMC community registered with PSCAI with a few stipulations.” Private contractors are invited to contact her for an appointment.
Is there anybody who actually believes DC Madam Deborah Jeane Palfrey didn’t run a high-priced prostitution service? Of course not, but Palfrey’s lawyers have been using the pretty clever strategy of asking the powerful Republican clients of her sex-delivery company if they paid for sex. And barring a scientifically impossible moment of honesty from one of the johns, none of them will ever admit to hiring a hooker. 
The answer, of course, is ALL OF THEM, but what we really mean is “Which member of the Ohio delegation in the House has also ordered hookers from the DC Madam?” Larry Flynt is supposedly about to reveal this, maybe tomorrow or some other day. Meanwhile, let’s meet the candidates. 
While sane people are laughing at the embarrassing exploits of sex criminal, infantile fetishist and family-values Senator David Vitter, actual evangelical fundamentalist Christian Republicans are once again trying to make sense of a world in which the sickest motherfuckers are all evangelical fundamentalist Christian Republicans who, whenever they’re not paying a hooker to dress them in diapers, are calling for the “immoral” to be thrown out of political office, the military, schools, the workplace, etc. 
Duke Cunningham is snitching to the FBI in prison, which is bad news for Brent Wilkes. Cunningham: former congressman currently serving time for bribery and corruption and being a stupid jerk. Wilkes: Duke’s former best-bud contractor, currently facing two indictments and 30 counts of all sorts of misbehavior. Thankfully, Duke does not shy away from the aspects of his case that have always been of the utmost importance to Wonkette readers. 
