Confused by Eliot Spitzer’s need for a super-premium $4,300 hooker? The Washington Post assigned two (2) staff writers to investigate the differences a wealthy man such as the whore addict Eliot Spitzer might notice between, say, a $4,300 fancy New York courtesan and a $30 crack whore in D.C. The differences may surprise you! MORE »

Yes Governor Spitzer (D-NY) is widely expected to resign from his hallowed office because he sexed ladies for money! America will always remember him fondly for being one of the first brave Democrats to reclaim hypocritical sex scandals from the Republicans. [FOX News]

Sure, Hopeful Barack Obama just got a bunch of endorsements from important political constituencies such as the mostly naked nymphs of American Apparel, the wealthy elderly survivors of the Grateful Dead, “jam band” hero Dave Matthews and teevee’s Dr. McCoy DeForest Kelly Oscar(TM)-winner Forest Whitaker. But what about half-dead pop groups from 40 years ago? [Funny Or Die]

Meet our newest correspondent, the very talented Seth Hettena, author of Feasting on the Spoils. For his first story, he writes about hookers, Hawaii and hot tubs. Oh, and how Rep. Randy “Duke” Cunningham and defense contractor Brent Wilkes really, really like them. MORE »

It’s October, so why is it still so goddamn hot? And why are politicians still getting busted for perversions and sexcapades? Is this Cummer truly Endless? Or is this merely — as one of you commenters probably coined back in some long-ago post (this one?) — an Indian Cummer?* After the jump, join us in taking a quick glance at Cocktober’s Long, Long Tail — starring that Louisiana Bathroom Goblin, Gay Escorts, and, uh, something called an “Oral Roberts.”

MORE »

On Dan Abrams’ program last night, he talked to Salon’s Joan Walsh, the Log Cabin Republicans dude, and Pat “Virginia’s Next Senator” Buchanan about Larry “He Said/He Said” Craig and David “Diaperman” Vitter. This was the most important part. Because who among us hasn’t wanted to shout “GAY PROSTITUTES” at Pat Buchanan?

One of Diaperman David Vitter’s other hookers, in New Orleans — but not the Diaper Gal, apparently — took a lie detector test administered by the President of Lie Detectors and the test proves she had “safe sex” with David Vitter, all the time, in New Orleans, and her pimp was named “Jonathan.” [Times-Picayune]

Former manwhore turned journalist turned blogger Jeff Gannon’s sketchy old employers claim that Jeff Gannon will claim that Karl Rove is a gay homosexual who has sex with other gay homosexual men, just like his adoptive father, whose penis you can see on the internet if you’re into that sort of thing. MORE »

Cummers are short but memorable out in Minnesota. Tim Droogsma, Press Secretary to former Gov. Arne Carlson (Republican) and Sen. Rudy Boschwitz (Republican), was busted in a prostitution sting out in East St. Paul! He claims it was all a misunderstanding, though the race of the undercover cops has not been revealed. “I don’t think I’m too prudish,” he told the Star Tribune in June… [Strib]

Good news, boys: “Tori” the Escort is going to be in Baghdad’s Green Zone for an extended tour, starting next week! Thanks to the graciousness of the Private Security Company Association of Iraq, Tori from Atlanta will be working out of a secured compound in the green zone, “entertaining all members of the PMC community registered with PSCAI with a few stipulations.” Private contractors are invited to contact her for an appointment.

MORE »

Is there anybody who actually believes DC Madam Deborah Jeane Palfrey didn’t run a high-priced prostitution service? Of course not, but Palfrey’s lawyers have been using the pretty clever strategy of asking the powerful Republican clients of her sex-delivery company if they paid for sex. And barring a scientifically impossible moment of honesty from one of the johns, none of them will ever admit to hiring a hooker. MORE »