Wonkette

Hey everybody, remember Jessica Cutler? No? Well, a long time ago there was this Senate staffer aide and she had sex — including sex in the butt! — with men who gave her money or other valuables in exchange for the sex. This was different from all other human relationships because she, Jessica Cutler, made a blog about this, five years ago, when blogs were kind of a new thing. So how is she obviously involved with the Eliot Spitzer hooker scandal? MORE »

Besides the wives and children, who are the true victims of high-placed leaders’ tawdry sex affairs? Hillary Clinton and Barack Obama, of course! Former New York Governor Eliot Spitzer and indicted Detroit Mayor Kwame Kilpatrick are (or were) both Democratic superdelegates. Spitzer was in the tank for Clinton, while Kilpatrick reportedly favors Obama, even though the Obama campaign halfheartedly denies it. So what happens when reckless oversexed Democrats let their personal addictions interfere with their public lives? They make the increasingly weird superdelegate count even less predictable. Of course, none of this matters if Clinton and Obama superdelegates keep cancelling each other out by getting caught in embarrassing situations in equal numbers. [Political Punch, NPR]

Are you tired of looking at pictures of prostitutes? Ha ha, liar! America’s political cartoonists have determined that hookers are an “In” visual icon these days, and, being shameless, have no shame about transforming many aspects of our beloved nation into whores for polemical purposes. Find out which abstract concepts you’d pay to fuck, after the jump. MORE »

There are two iconic Washington hotels, swank palaces so famous that their very names have come to define the two main activities of our political elite: corruption and whoring. The first, of course, is the Watergate. The second is the Mayflower, which was named for the famous pimpette Sydney Biddle Barrows, the “Mayflower Madam.” It’s a little pricey even by D.C. lodging standards, so if you’re a regular there, you’re probably a regular user of $4,300 hookers — according to the liberal New York Times. MORE »

LARRY KING IS STILL INSANE: The excitable senior covers Kristen-Ashley by jabbering, “How does the escort feel, Kathleen? And, apparently, it’s going to get, if the term is right, more huge.” [Extreme Mortman]

Confused by Eliot Spitzer’s need for a super-premium $4,300 hooker? The Washington Post assigned two (2) staff writers to investigate the differences a wealthy man such as the whore addict Eliot Spitzer might notice between, say, a $4,300 fancy New York courtesan and a $30 crack whore in D.C. The differences may surprise you! MORE »

Yes Governor Spitzer (D-NY) is widely expected to resign from his hallowed office because he sexed ladies for money! America will always remember him fondly for being one of the first brave Democrats to reclaim hypocritical sex scandals from the Republicans. [FOX News]

Sure, Hopeful Barack Obama just got a bunch of endorsements from important political constituencies such as the mostly naked nymphs of American Apparel, the wealthy elderly survivors of the Grateful Dead, “jam band” hero Dave Matthews and teevee’s Dr. McCoy DeForest Kelly Oscar(TM)-winner Forest Whitaker. But what about half-dead pop groups from 40 years ago? [Funny Or Die]

Meet our newest correspondent, the very talented Seth Hettena, author of Feasting on the Spoils. For his first story, he writes about hookers, Hawaii and hot tubs. Oh, and how Rep. Randy “Duke” Cunningham and defense contractor Brent Wilkes really, really like them. MORE »

It’s October, so why is it still so goddamn hot? And why are politicians still getting busted for perversions and sexcapades? Is this Cummer truly Endless? Or is this merely — as one of you commenters probably coined back in some long-ago post (this one?) — an Indian Cummer?* After the jump, join us in taking a quick glance at Cocktober’s Long, Long Tail — starring that Louisiana Bathroom Goblin, Gay Escorts, and, uh, something called an “Oral Roberts.”

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