Tag: hookers

Love Child! Stay Away From David Vitter Or He Will Bortion You (Allegedly)

Sen. David Vitter, the family values Republican from Adult Diapers, Louisiana, would like to be governor. And he would also like everyone to stop asking him about that time he committed a "very serious sin" by banging hookers -- not...
Did anyone order a COMPANION?

Obvious Gay Hooker Service Raided For Being Obvious Gay Hooker Service

Being a gay hooker is illegal in U.S. America, except for in parts of Nevada or whatever. It's not the "gay" part that's illegal, otherwise we'd all be outlaws! We're not here to debate whether hooking should be legalized or...
Wanna discuss important Pentagon business?

Pentagon Workers Using YOUR Tax Dollars For Gamblin’ And F*ckin’

Would you be outraged to know that Pentagon employees (military AND civilian) have been using YOUR TAX DOLLARS GRRR for the services of cardsharks and common harlots? WELL THEY ARE (kinda sorta). GET MAD: A Defense Department audit has found that...
Can't believe they kept these wild photos!

DEA Gets Its Very Own Colombian Hookers-N-Blow Scandal

Members of the Secret Service have to be feeling pretty relieved that theirs is now not the only federal agency with an embarrassing hookers-in-Colombia scandal. Agents from the Drug Enforcement Agency allegedly had "sex parties" -- and possibly even...

The Daily Caller Is Being Run By Cuban Communists

You may or may not remember the story about New Jersey Sen. Robert Menendez allegedly doing sex with prostitutes, whom he then didn't even pay, and then later it was claimed that the hookers were underaged, even. Hahaha, of...

So Far, Only Hookers Seem To Like Obamacare

Here's another story about sex workers who are happy to get insurance under the Affordable Care Act. Combine that with wingnut Noel Sheppard's freakout over san Francisco hookers signing up for the ACA, and it is now officially a...

Secret Service Ruining Blowvember With Creepy Hotel Antics

Jesus Christ on a pogo stick, people, you keep getting Blowvember all wrong. First, CBS tries to co-opt it by blowing every news story it reports on. And now the Secret Service is being super-creepy with the ladies, according...

David Vitter Demands Senate Democrats Go Probe Themselves For Reminding Us Of That Time He Used To Screw Hookers

Oh, Sen. David Vitter (R-Whore House), we heart you soooooo much. No, really, we do. You are, in fact, our very favorite diapers-wearing john in the whole Senate. While some politicians might slink away from the public eye in...

AP Scoop: Dominican Republic Hookers in Menendez Story Were Not Trustworthy After All

Like a middle-aged man in the grip of a Viagra-fueled sex spree, this whole “Did New Jersey Senator Robert Menendez (D-Sexytimes) Sex Up Some Underage Hookers In The Dominican Republic” story just keeps on keepin’ on! Just to recap:...

Daily Caller’s Menendez Hooker: I Can’t Believe We Made Up The Whole Thing (Updated!)

Next-gen rightwing journamalism Great White Hope Matthew Boyle was pretty proud when the FBI did some boring raid on some shady eye doctor allegedly organizing underage sex-hookers for New Jersey Senator Bob Menendez. Boyle had been beating his horse...

Matthew Boyle To Spend Valentine’s Day Alone, Cockblocking Bob Menendez

Hi single people! Sorry about the uber-commercialized "fuck you I'm getting laid tonight" holiday that coupled people foist on you every February. You really don't deserve it. But take solace in at least one thing: you are not Matthew...

New Jersey Senator Bob Menendez Really Should Not Be Sexing Under-Age Prostitutes

New Jersey Senator Bob Menendez (D-Bada Bing!) got in a spot of bother about three minutes before election day last November, when it was revealed he was boning Dominican sex workers in big piles of orgy, with his buddy,...

Husband of the Century John Edwards Purchased Human Lady Flesh From ‘Millionaire’ New York Sex Pimp

OH GOOD. Noted humanitarian and best guy ever John Edwards is not only seeking to make another human maybe with perfect soulmate Rielle Edwards. Nope. His name has also come up in conjunction with some sex-trafficking investigation in Manhattan,...

Wonkette Endorsements: This Swashbuckling GOP Lunatic Spy

Who's the man who offered to help get Khadafi out of Libya for a cool $10 mill? Neil Livingstone! Who's the cat on a yacht full of pussy-for-hire? Neil Livingstone! Who fled from Argentine Nazis, ate borscht with Russian...

Free Speech Martyr Rush Limbaugh Gets Hooker Website Ad Offer

Having spent four (12? 40?) days wheezing into his herpes-flecked microphone about hot nubile coeds and the sextapes they should make for him, poor martyred modern-day Mario Savio Rush Limbaugh finally caught a break when loathsome hooker website "SeekingArrangement.com"...

Todd Palin’s Alleged Prostitute Releasing Exciting Book About Sex With Todd Palin

Somehow, the Wasilla gravy train has finally run out of steam. What else can explain Todd Palin's alleged Wasilla mistress/prostitute not getting a six-figure book deal for her story? America has finally grown tired of Sarah Palin and her...