Tag: homosexuals

Ralph Reed: Gay-Bashing + Unskewed Polls = GOP (Bondage And) Dominance 4 Ever

Remember how there was a time when it seemed like we might be entirely free of Ralph Reed and his sanctimonious toothiness? But somehow he rose like a smug phoenix from the flames, and now we have to endure...

S.D. Representative Does Not Care For You Lesbians Putting Weiners In Your ‘Garbage Alley’

Buttsechs. Some people like to do it in their butts, while other people like to pay their rent owning mommyblogs that for some weird reason unknown to G_d or man (COUGH ANA MARIE COUGH) have become synonymous with anal...

Jan Brewer Being Uncrazy Again, Some More (Video)

This is TOTALLY FUCKED, guys. Not only is Jan Brewer, Arizona governatrix, continuing to take her meds, but she apparently has inspired her state's senators, Herrs McCain and Flake, to pick up some Lithium as well. And now she...

Vince Lombardi Was Totally Gay For Gay Football Players Because Vince Lombardi Wasn’t A Jerk

When Michael Sam is drafted — it should be a matter of when not if, because if Sam liked lady bits, there would no question he would get drafted — Sam would be the first openly gay professional athlete in...

What If You Could Count Your Brain Cells As They Die While Reading Something By Ben Shapiro?

It's kind of a trick question, because of course you won't be able to ever actually count your brain cells as they wither and pass while you read something by Ben Shapiro. Nobody can count that high! But you...

Open Wide, Oklahoma, It Is Your Turn For Some Gay Marriage Throat-Ramming And Cramming

Are you familiar with this state "Oklahoma"? It's one of the ones in the middle there. It's full of Democrats who voted for Randall Terry for president -- actually beating sitting "Democrat" "president" Barack Obama in the primaries --...

Virginia State Sen. Thomas Garrett Will End Teenage Oral Sexing Forever With This One Weird Bill

You might think that the wingnuts in the Commonwealth of Virginia might have a bit of a sad, what with their candidates losing the top three statewide electoral spots a couple months back. You might also think that they...

2013: America’s Most Fabulously Gay Year Ever

While there are still a few (like, five) Real Mericans (and most of them are on some stupid teevee show about making duck-sex sounds) who are unaware that is the year 2013 for a few more hours (then it...

Weekly Standard: Barack Obama And Joe Biden Held Hands So They Are Definitely Doing Gay Sex In Each Other’s Bottoms

ZOMG you guys, the Weekly Standard has proof Barack Obama and Old Handsome Joe Biden are doing gay sex in each other's bottoms, like we just said in the headline. Are you ready? Are you ready for this terrible...

Did You Know Homosexuals Commit Half Of All Big City Murders? It Is Probably ‘True’

Wonket BFF Bradlee Dean was on the radio again, you guys, where he said things, with his facehole! And he had on another guy, Jake McMillan, who said things with his facehole too! (Jake is the one bringing the...

Friday Nice Time: WWE Wrestler Exits Closet, What Are You Gonna Do About It?

As a reward to our loyal readers for slogging through a week of stories that would probably have even the Brady Bunch chugging hemlock together, we present today’s Nice Time, wherein a man who makes his living oiling his...

Which Gay One-Legged Iraq War Veterans Are We Booing In San Antonio Today?

My my, San Antonio, you certainly are getting "Wonkette famous" this morning! First we listened to that fun secret recording of Councilwoman Elisa Chan's staff trying to figure out how to keep their thoughts on dog-marrying and cat-marrying from...

Listen To A Bunch Of Idiots On San Antonio Councilwoman’s Staff Try To Figure Out: What Makes A Gay?

San Antonio Councilwoman Elisa Chan just does not understand these disgusting teh gheyz and their gay sex in the butt and why they should adopt the children and other things, because seeing two women kissing confuses the childrens and...

Should Gay Marriage Be Outlawed Because Gays Can’t Sex Each Other In Missionary? Your Wonkette Investigates

We thought we had heard all the excuses for why gay people should be denied the right to get married, but this is a new one: An anti-gay politico in Mexico, Ana María Jiménez Ortiz, has determined that gay people...

How Is Obama Secretly Gaying Today?

Everyone knows Barack Obama is probably secretly a gay homosexual gay. It's just so obvious, isn't it, what with his, like, probably gayness? He sure sets off Fox "News" mouth-breather and Brooklyn food co-op enthusiast Todd Starnes's gaydar (which, um,...

French Homophobes Strip Down, Oil Up, Go Where The Boys Are (Together, Hating Les Gays)

Here is a fun photo gallery from Dangerous Minds, showing all these lovely young French fascists what hate les gays, and show it by taking off their shirts, oiling their virile young bodies, and dogpiling. Enjoy!