Wonkette

There is a little bit of fine print in the Gay American Bylaws stating that donors to Republican candidates will be expelled immediately from one or both elite organizations. Thus Jonathan Crutchley, a McCain contributor and chairman of the gay pickup site Manhunt, had to resign his position on the board lest he be forcibly turned heterosexual and spend the rest of his life wearing ill-fitting shirts from LL Bean. Meanwhile, John McCain returned Crutchley’s donation in order to avoid the Gay Taint. [Towleroad/Boston Herald]

Homosexual Florida Governor Charlie Crist is getting married, to a woman, so he can be a real, live National Politician. And over the weekend, he announced that he and his “bride” have set a date! It’s December 12, a full 38 days after the election. In other words, they don’t have to plan shit unless he somehow wins as John McCain’s vice president, in which case they’ll actually have to go through with the awful stunt. [Orlando Sentinel]

Man, the Fundies sure have shown those queers at McDonald’s what happens when they start pushing the Gay Agenda: “CHICAGO–McDonald’s Corp said Friday that global sales at restaurants open at least 13 months rose 8 percent in July, as the key U.S. market posted its largest gain in five months.” A recession is not really a great time to affect change in the fast food industry with a boycott. Besides, we know all of these fat selfish mouth-breathers have been going to McDonald’s secretly, every day. [Reuters]

So of course these mouth-breathers running the American Family Association’s “Boycott McDonald’s” program have a YouTube channel, how did it take us so long. Quick background for newcomers: a few Christian Fundamentalists are boycotting McDonald’s because this “restaurant” supports fags, the end. You can watch their funny one-minute trailer about Ronald McDonald molesting your children with his hamburgers, after the jump. MORE »

Last week we discovered the website “Boycott McDonald’s,” an American Family Association initiative that criticizes McDonald’s for one time giving some gay thing $20,000 to make an ad or whatever BACKING THE FULL GAY AGENDA. We showed a litany of samples from the site’s comment section, and it was very popular, so now we are going to post more funny comments from it. At least 8 of the top 10 funniest things on the Internet are comments from this website. MORE »

Brent Rinehart is a commissioner in Oklahoma County, which is in Oklahoma. Rinehart has been charged with felony campaign-finance crimes and will be tried this fall, which isn’t helping his campaign for re-election. So he wrote this comic book (PDF) and is sending it to everybody in his district. MORE »

You’ve been waiting for it all day, and here it is: your “Tuesday Fun Link.” Today’s link directs you to “Boycott McDonald’s,” an effort from some terrible thing called the American Family Association. Naturally, these people are not boycotting McDonald’s because they are starting diets — on the contrary, we assume they are all fat fucks who continue to patronize the likes of Wendy’s, Burger King, and “Sonic” on a daily basis. They are boycotting McDonald’s because of this: “It is about McDonald’s, as a corporation, refusing to remain neutral in the culture wars. McDonald’s has chosen not to remain neutral but to give the full weight of their corporation to promoting the homosexual agenda, including homosexual marriage.” And GUESS WHAT? This website has a comments section!! MORE »

Guess who’s paying for this daring piece of Gay Travel advertising? The taxpayers of South Carolina! Yukyukyuk… MORE »

This may come as a shock, but a prominent anti-homosexual Republican attorney general has apparently been caught having homosexual sex intercourse with his homosexual gay male assistant. Bonus: The dude’s wife caught him, in their bed. This is the rumor that the AG’s office has officially denied, so now of course everybody is spilling the sordid details. MORE »

Virginia won’t let The Gays get married, so this couple just walked into a courthouse and said “We would like to get married plz” and they got a marriage license and even got married, even though they were two dudes. (One of them had really nice skin, though!) And just like that, billions of straight marriages around America went kerplunk in an explosion of existential despair. MORE »