Tag: homosexuality

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Southern Baptists Unfriend California Congregation For Insufficient Gay-Hating

The Southern Baptist Convention voted unanimously to expel a California church that was entirely too friendly to gay homosexuals, bringing order back to the cosmos and making clear that unlike other issues, such as divorce, there is no room...

Here Is How Homosexuality Is Different From Alcoholism

Talking brunette Ken doll Rick Perry said something great the other day: "I may have the genetic coding that I’m inclined to be an alcoholic, but I have the desire not to do that, and I look at...

Radio Wingnut Kevin Swanson Warns Boy Scouts Want To Cannibalize Your Sodomy Badges

Just stop it already Kevin Swanson, you make us love you too much. The official Wonket spokesperson for all things "Christian radio" has once again ear-raped our masses with a slippery slope of magnificent proportion, because gay kids +...

Wives! Can’t Live With ‘Em, Can Kill ‘Em, According to Charismatic ‘Ex’-Gay Christian-Orgy Cult Leader

Tyler Deaton is a handsome young man. He met his wife, Bethany, in prayer group at college. He was so charismatic that by his senior year, he'd convinced a bunch of hot dudes to leave the school-sanctioned Christian fellowship...

Nobody Expects The Minnesota-Teens-Who-Approve-Of-Gay-Marriage Inquisition!

We all know that the holy rite of communion is not available to divorced Catholics, remarried Catholics, and nuns who are hospital administrators and allow women whose lives are in immediate danger from their pregnancies to get abortions. (And...

Why Won’t Feminists Stop Destroying Marriage, Asks Dinesh D’Souza’s Extra Fiancée

Before we begin this post, let's be honest: who wouldn't want this piece of Hayekian sausage tossed down their meat hallway? NOBODY. (I'm sorry, that was disgusting. He's obviously toting hot Burkean bratwurst.) Dinesh D'Sousa d'irected 2016: Obama's America, a wonderful...

Wise Teen Girl Proves Benefits Of Home-Schooling: Being Gay Turns You Into A Duck

Parents! Have you ever wanted to rip your kids from the dastardly public school system, but worried that your own lack of education (and terrible laziness) would turn your children into raving dolts? Well worry no more, as a...

Pope Yells at Nuns For Acting Too Much Like Jesus, Not Enough Like Pope

Nazi Pope Joseph Ratzinger is so proud of his image as the CEO of a lucrative club for child rapists who runs around modeling Prada shoes and phallic hats that he is going to celebrate, by scolding some nuns...

Here’s Video of Michele Bachmann’s Very Not-Gay Flaming Husband

Wonkette's Evan Hurst posts this video of Michele Bachmann's husband at another blog, because he is two-timing us, and we shall now cry like Meg McCain about this. This video's description says Marcus Bachmann likes to cure homosexuals of...

AFA: Glenn Beck and Ann Coulter Need To Hurry Up and Hate Gays Again

Glenn Beck and Ann Coulter have surprised people lately, by seeming to be pretty tolerant of the gays. But don't expect that tolerance to get past the Jesus fishes at the American Family Association! These teevee pundits have gone...

PAC Questionnaire Collects Some More of Sharron Angle’s Fun Beliefs

The AP obtained a PAC questionnaire filled out by Sharron Angle, and surprisingly, it reveals that she has some interesting beliefs! The questionnaire had 36 questions and boxes to mark "yes" or "no," so thankfully it was easy for...

TRAGEDY: Ernest J. Pagels, Jr. Has Ended His Bid For U.S. Senate

Ernest J. Pagels, Jr. was supposed to be the FUTURE. Now our paranoid schizophrenic angel has decided to give up on us after failing to make it on the ballot. Pagels called Wonkette, the world's number-one source for Pagels...

WONKETTE EXCLUSIVE: The Ernest J. Pagels, Jr. Interview

We all learned a lot about Wisconsin Republican candidate for U.S. Senate and future President Ernest J. Pagels, Jr. last week. And since then, we've had the chance to speak with him, for over a half hour. It was...

Chuck Norris Is Hot On the Trail of Obama’s Boy Scout Conspiracy

Martial artist and famed Mike Huckabee supporter Chuck Norris has some sort of column on WorldNetDaily, and in the past few weeks he has exposed Barack Obama's secret hatred of the Boy Scouts. Obama, you see, refuses to acknowledge...

Oral Roberts, Dead As The Dickens

By popular request, the latest dead person's most lasting homage to his Heterosexual God: "The vagina. Only one organ made can bring forth life. It’s the male organ. It’s not, in lesbianism, for the tongue of a female goes...

Rick Warren Finally Denounces Ugandan ‘Kill All Gays’ Legislation

Hey give some credit to old Rick Warren, for finally publicly condemning the Ugandan Anti-Homosexuality bill, on the Internet. While it's a little late and incredibly convoluted ("Uhh uhh I have been secretly involved in quiet negotiations this whole...