Huzzah, here are some new fake polling results from Quinnipiac today: Obama 47, McCain 43 in Florida; Obama 48, McCain 42 in Ohio; Obama 52, McCain 40 in Pennsylvania. Now Obama will be president for life and McCain will be banished to Mongolia to start a new life as “Maverick of the Yaks.” [The Page]

The dumb girl from MTV’s The Hills program — which follows her and another dumb girl and their boyfriends and their internships — has endorsed John McCain. And McCain responded, because some reporter actually took the time to ask him about it! McCain said,”I’m honored to have Heidi’s support and I want to assure her that I never miss an episode of ‘The Hills,’ especially since the new season started.” So now we know that. [Swampland]