Tag Archives: holiday traditions

  for john dillinger

A Nation Of Finks: Your William S. Burroughs Thanksgiving Prayer 2014

A holiday tradition
We began posting this Thanksgiving Prayer by William S. Burroughs and Gus Van Sant back in 2006, and a lot of things have changed since then. The deadpan list of Bloody American Triumphs sounds less like sarcasm in our Terrible Year of the Lord 2014, and more like an elegy. Read more on A Nation Of Finks: Your William S. Burroughs Thanksgiving Prayer 2014…
  for john dillinger

Wholesome American Guts: Your William S. Burroughs Thanksgiving Prayer 2013

We began posting this Thanksgiving Prayer by William S. Burroughs and Gus Van Sant back in 2006, and a lot of things have changed since then. We cannot possibly hope to match the grim depths of the 2010 / 2011 iterations of the prayer, so we know better than to even make the attempt. But this year, we definitely have a face to go with Burroughs’ line about “decent church-going women with their mean, pinched, bitter, evil faces.” Read more on Wholesome American Guts: Your William S. Burroughs Thanksgiving Prayer 2013…
  for john dillinger

Wholesome American Guts: Your William S. Burroughs Thanksgiving Prayer 2012

We began posting this Thanksgiving Prayer by William S. Burroughs and Gus Van Sant back in 2006, and a lot of things have changed since then. (For one thing, the YouTube copy we linked to in 2006 through 2011 is gone and borked forever.) We also cannot possibly hope to match the grim depths of the 2010 / 2011 iterations of the prayer, so we know better than to even make the attempt. Read more on Wholesome American Guts: Your William S. Burroughs Thanksgiving Prayer 2012…
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Michelle Obama Reads Christmas Stories With Kermit, Malia Acts Bored

‘Twas the Christmas Tree-Lighting Time at the White House last Thursday night, and this year’s theme was “Controversy and Nostalgia.” Controversy, because for the first time since the debut of Dallas, there was a new tree at the White House. (The old one got knocked down by winds or Katrina or something, and the new tree is a gay terrorist tree, from New Jersey.) Americans like their traditions, so this was a risky move, but luckily the Olds were entertained by Muppets and that Carson character from the MTV Total Request Live. Our lovely FLOTUS was the star performer, of course. She read a story with Kermit the Frog, which delighted everyone, except Malia Obama, whose life is now ruined. Read more on Michelle Obama Reads Christmas Stories With Kermit, Malia Acts Bored…
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Wonkette’s Best Ever Cyber Friday 2010 War On Xmas Gift Guide

Did you think we’d forget? With just eight days of Xmas Shopping before the Big Day when you go in the bathroom and shoot yourself because you can’t afford presents, again, this Christmas Holiday Season is shaping up to be the best ever! And we’ve got a very special selection of gift ideas to prove you care enough to look at a political joke website instead of doing some “Cyber Friday” last-minute charging on the almost-revoked credit card! Please get a cup of hot chocolate anything alcoholic and enjoy these yuletide gems. Read more on Wonkette’s Best Ever Cyber Friday 2010 War On Xmas Gift Guide…