hobos
Arizona GOP Hires Literal Hobos To Run For Office
Aren’t the Republicans supposed to be against identity politics? A core conservative belief is that we shouldn’t worry about our government “looking like America,” with its various genders and ethnic groups, but that we should instead choose our leaders based solely on merit (i.e., whiteness, maleness, heterosexuality, former-lobbyist-ness). But one GOP consultant in Arizona has [...]
Nation Of Hobos (and Demons)
By the Comics CurmudgeonAs our nation’s level of unemployment continues to skyrocket, we must ask ourselves: Are we all hobos, now? Answer: yes. But how will this affect the hobo sector of the American economy, which has always been governed by a strict set of rules? First the hobo hassles some square dude or lady [...]
Bums Have It Easy Enough, Says Florida Republican
The Florida House just voted to make attacking homeless people a hate crime, and state Rep. Paige Kreegel, MD, (R-Punta Gorda) is not celebrating. He’s unhappy because Florida’s homeless are “bums” who just lounge about in beach chairs drinking orange juice out of those plastic citrus fruit thingies all day long, and now this bill [...]
Teabaggers Now Protesting … Hobos
Yelling at old guys with Parkinson’s, laughing at poor people with cancer, viciously mocking sick children … today’s teabagger is more than just a fat ignorant racist. Today’s teabagger is an utter sociopath. So who attracted these Ugly American Slobs with the foul protest signs today? Homeless people living in the dirt around this hellscape [...]
Why Are These Democrats Creating So Many Damn Hobos?
Retiring, uneducated senator Jim Bunning — truly an electoral aberration, even by our shitty system’s standards — has been holding up an extension of unemployment and COBRA benefits since last night, under whatever country-destroying Senate rule our beloved minority party discovered while recently picking its anus. Just read about this fucking baby, here, sitting in [...]
Someone Hire This Conservative Media Specialist Welfare Queen!
Multiple people have sent us photos of this local hobo today, so sure, we’ll bite. Operative “John B.” writes: “I talked to this young conservative at the corner of 14th and k. I can’t help him but maybe he could help Miss California. He is a media specialist according to his resume.” (In POLITICS.) And [...]
And You Can Just Forget About Your Precious Unemployment Checks, Too
Man remember back when there was this thing called “the dole,” and you could live on it forever while you traveled the country on freight trains, singing hobo medleys and strumming on a banjo? All that changed when Ronald Reagan came to office and cracked down on Welfare Queens, with their diamonds and furs and [...]
Happy Hobo New Year!
Back in the day, people would ring in the New Year the old fashioned way: by scoring an eight ball, buying a $5,000 VIP table at a Miami Beach party hosted by a fancy young rap impresario, and having sex in a jacuzzi with a half-dozen hot Brazilian models while smoking cigars made out of [...]
Peggy Noonan Is Thankful That She Doesn’t Have To Encounter Poor People
Peggington. We love Peggington so much, and we don’t even care who knows! In this week’s very special Thanksgiving edition of her Wall Street Journal psychodiary, “Declarations,” the Noonanism — an embarrassingly insular worldview in which no personal anecdote is void of world-historical spiritual import — has been cranked deep into the red. Here’s what [...]
A Nice Chart Showing How Poor You Are
Here’s a frightening math chart from the mathies at Calculated Risk putting that record 2.8% October retail sales decline in perspective. (As if a record drop in consumer spending needed more perspective!) Sales are down 8.8% on a year-over-year basis, which may just strike you as, “bah, some dumb number,” but this graph shows that [...]
Denver Homeless Being Sent To Zoo During Democratic Convention
Like every American city these days, Denver is filled with tragically insane homeless people. But what will happen when downtown Denver becomes a terrifying Green Zone of a million cops surrounded by a million hippie protesters? Will this make the starving, mentally ill, drug addicted people living on the streets uncomfortable? Maybe! So they’re going [...]
Which Senators Are America’s Hobo Kings?
With all this talk about Chris Dodd and Kent Conrad getting SWEETHEART MORTGAGE DEALS giving them literally fractions of a percentage point off their mortgage interest and fees, it’s instructive to find out how many of America’s senators even have mortgages. A shocking number do not, which means they are either living in cardboard boxes [...]
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