Wonkette

In good news, oil is back to September 2007 prices. (In bad news, gas was still $3 a gallon then, so, uhh …) WHAT DOES IT MEAN. It means the numbers are finally coming in to back up the gloom. Nobody in the stores, no demand for gasoline as people have no jobs, no money, and use their car as a “rusty tent.” So, we’re back to Black Friday territory, from last week. DON’T EVER LOOK AT YOUR 401(k) AGAIN. MORE »

Local Wonkette operative “Charlotte” (who is “home sick from work” today, so wish her a speedy recovery/death!) sends us this photo of her sink in Washington. It now only pours monster blood. This is something Jesus predicted would happen, in the Bible, and since Washington is a leading indicator of all “Apocalyptic happenings,” our advice remains the same: BUY CANNED GOODS. (And bottled water; that is so fucking disgusting good god.)

CANNED GOODS STOCKS SOAR: See, it went like this: Wonkette told people to buy canned goods, and the markets immediately reacted. Wonkette stock lady operative “Nicole” writes, “Just noticed that Campbell Soup Co. is currently the # 2 ‘Top Mover’ stock.” Capitalism!

McCain adviser and Krugman-obsessed NRO blogger Donald Luskin has one of his unintentionally hilarious “all economic statistics are a liberal conspiracy by the liberals” things in Sunday’s Washington Post, in which he gives the Obama campaign another Phil Gramm-style gift. “Things today just aren’t that bad,” he writes. And then he proudly quotes the Gramm “mental recession” bit! Is David Plouffe paying this guy? MORE »