Author and personal-appliance salesman John Hodgman did a very witty “nerd hit” on so-called American President Barack Obama on Friday, but was it accurate, as far as the various classes and career paths of Hobbits? Today’s Email of the Day from “Madison” may answer this important question! MORE »

Oh here’s John Hodgman, author of the weird and hilarious The Areas of My Expertise, who is apparently also a “minor television personality,” who knew?! And here is his very sly “roast” of the president, Barack Obama, at some event covered by C-SPAN. Worth watching just to see Obama cracking up over the hinjinx of the Birthers. Also, there are hobbit jokes. Basically, EVERY WONKETTE MEME OF 2008-2009 is in this John Hodgman routine. [C-SPAN/YouTube]

Tonight through Sunday, June 21: Some people would rather stab themselves in the eyes than see a ballet. But then there are the more refined folk who, like everyone’s favorite ballet-dancer-turned-politician Rahm Emanuel, cherish the idea of watching pretty people dance in circles and do fun twists in the air. If you fall into the latter category, we highly recommend seeing the Bolshoi Ballet from Moscow perform Le Corsaire, a ballet about love, betrayal, and terrible thunderstorms. MORE »

America’s favorite doctor, Ron Paul, is struggling with demons we cannot even begin to comprehend. Here he is whining to an empty House of Representatives last night, about the night terrors he suffers and the horrifying intrusion of interdimensional orcs into his waking life. [YouTube]

The Rush Limbaugh program is a very entertaining program, it’s true. This segment with a caller is funny enough when he’s explaining to her what an addiction is like, and how the liberals are all “addicted to power,” whereas he was merely addicted to a tasty opiate. But then, after an awkward few seconds of silence around the 4:00 mark, he asks, “Did you see the Lord of the Rings movies?” Amazing. “I don’t remember the name, the character we never saw, desperate to get his rings back? Zoron-Zoron, whatever his name was? He had an army, HE HAD AN ARMY… the guy was miserable, couldn’t get the rings back.” [Media Matters]

The teabagging controversy grows baggier by the hour, as pretty much every loser in 2006, 2008 and life in general is in a desperate battle to prove they started the tea-bag craze. Forgetting for a moment that the people who “started” the tea-party nonsense were actually greedy Englishmen of the British Empire’s colony of Taxachusetts way back in 1773, this is one thing we are going to totally give to the Paultards. They started it. We were there, man. We were there. MORE »

Dingbat embarrassment Michele Bachmann has blabbed her way into a losing battle to keep her congressional seat in Minnesota’s 6th District. The new polls are out, and they say Batshit Bachmann is down three points. The sixth-level druid Elwyn Tinklenberg now has the lead, 47%-44%. Magic is everywhere. MORE »

GAHH obviously this is the winner, OBVIOUSLY, of our contest for the best Blingee based on that one weird Larry King photo. You all could learn from the winner, a Mr. Hans-Jörg Brehm, whose name indicates Mexican heritage of some sort. Hans understood two things that do a good Blingee make: (1) layers upon layers of worthless crap and (2) the word “HOBBIT” lit on fire. So everyone congratulate Hans and his illegal migrant family! Five other finalists, after the jump. You will have many seizures. MORE »

Your Wonkette was just having some drinks at various patio restaurants in downtown Minneapolis yesterday when strange dorks began walking around, in bizarre costumes. Here we have, uh, “Ninja Hitler,” maybe? And he’s pulling a gimp in a wagon made of … household garbage? Like many other disheveled stringy-haired losers seen around town on Sunday, the gimp was wearing a green scary-face mask, possibly from the Scream movies? But they weren’t all so elaborately costumed. MORE »

Bridget: big $ale on truck nutz. [Rocky Mountain News]

Former Bill Clinton strategist Paul Begala, the squirrelly hobbit to James Carville’s mangy elf, spoke at a breakfast in New York City this morning and used the occasion to vent about how much he hates Mark Penn, Hillary’s ex-Chief Strategist and current chief strategist. Because everyone hates Mark Penn and that is why he is… still working for Hillary Clinton! But do most “Clinton people” go so far as to compare Penn to Donald Rumsfeld? The hobbit goes, because the hobbit knows. MORE »