Tag Archives: hoaxes

  location location causation

Pricey New York Real Estate Proves Global Warming Is A Hoax, Obviously

parking not included
Were you concerned conservatives would never locate the real “smoking gun” that proves the Great Global Warming Hoax? Well, hold on to your coal, Holy Rollers, because Breitbart LLC finally unearthed definitive proof of the Greenstapo’s climate conspiracy: New York City real estate is really fucking expensive! Read more on Pricey New York Real Estate Proves Global Warming Is A Hoax, Obviously…
  Birthers: The Next Generation

New Wingnut Theory (Or ‘Satire’?): Michelle Obama Never Birthed No Babies

Since this photo doesn't exist, maybe YOU DON'T EITHER! Whoa, we are all Philip K Dick today!
From the ugly world of Facebook, we received a recommendation to check out this story: “Evidence Emerges That Michelle Obama Never Birthed Malia And Sasha,” at something called “The U.S. Patriot,” whose “About” page assures us that they are “home to the best Conservative news on the internet.” Let’s see what this important story has to say! Read more on New Wingnut Theory (Or ‘Satire’?): Michelle Obama Never Birthed No Babies…
  hey jealousy

Surprise! Kim Jong-un’s Mistress Was Not Executed By Wild Unicorns With A Nuclear Bomb, Or Whatever

Now for a sexxxy update on famed North Korean sex god Kim Jong-un and his sexy romps with the sexiest hotties his country has to offer. Last summer reports surfaced that Kim had had his former mistress, pop singer Hyon Song-wol, executed along with 12 members of her band. (Twelve? Were they the North Korean version of the Polyphonic Spree?) Details were sketchy, but the band was reportedly machine-gunned to death for some combination of distributing pornographic videos of themselves, possessing Bibles, or just because Kim’s wife was jealous of his ex-girlfriend. That’s quite the trifecta – usually you have to go to Arkansas or South Carolina for a murder story with all three of those elements. But now comes word that it may have all been a hoax. Last weekend, however, Kim Jong Un’s now-executed porn star former lover rose from the dead to give a speech – in uniform, sans leotard — at a national artists’ meeting. Though, as in all matters North Korea, who can tell for sure? It’s unclear from the video whether this is new footage, or whether it is also a hoax. Read more on Surprise! Kim Jong-un’s Mistress Was Not Executed By Wild Unicorns With A Nuclear Bomb, Or Whatever…
  god is in his heaven

How Many Stupid, Stupid Lawmakers Do We Have in Congress, Imperiling Very Existence of Life on Earth?

Exactly how many stupid, stupid people do we have in Congress these days, toiling away in the world’s most deliberative lawmaking body, making decisions that will probably imperil the very survival of the human race? And of these stupid, stupid people, how many are willing to talk to reporters and make good and sure that there is a RECORD of their stupidity for posterity? Turns out, quite a few! Read more on How Many Stupid, Stupid Lawmakers Do We Have in Congress, Imperiling Very Existence of Life on Earth?…
  he wuz hatched from a egg

Is Barack Obama A Secret Australian From The 1950s?

Assuming the president is even human, can anybody verify from which woman’s birth canal he sprang, and where, and when? The answer is no, until Barack Obama produces 1) a valid long-form birth certificate with coffee stains to make it look “real” and also 2) a 47-year-old mucus plug. (Note: do not Google “mucus plug” until after lunch.) But in lieu of this evidence, we are left to wonder whether Barack Obama was born in Kenya at all if somebody dug up a birth certificate from South Australia that looks SUSPICIOUSLY like his Kenyan one. Read more on Is Barack Obama A Secret Australian From The 1950s?…
  torture porn

Maybe Waterboarded Radio Host Was Faking It!

Hmm, could this possibly be true? Could that Chicago radio jackass have not undergone a Spiritual Conversion regarding torture after having a stream of water gently poured on his half-covered face for a few seconds? Gawker has salacious details in the form of emails from the guy’s publicist suggesting that this was all “a hoax.” Read more on Maybe Waterboarded Radio Host Was Faking It!…
  our first amendment rights

‘Bright Blue Scrotum’ Hero Fired

The guy who made that video last week about John Gibson’s obsession with the color of the Attorney General’s scrotum has been fired, for being hilarious. John Sanders worked as a producer-reporter for WBAL-TV, an NBC affiliate in Baltimore. He allegedly used company equipment to make his little doctored video and then he put it up on YouTube for larfs. Read more on ‘Bright Blue Scrotum’ Hero Fired…
  internet pranksters

Fake McCain Supporter Again Revealed As Fake

OH THIS GUY. “Martin Eisenstadt” is a comic invention who surfaces every 8-10 weeks to release satirical videos about Rudy Giuliani and spread fake rumors about the McCain campaign. Your Wonkette has seriously fallen for this trick once, when Eisenstadt reported that Paris Hilton’s family was FURIOUS about using their beloved blonde dingbat in McCain’s celebrity video. It seemed true! And funny. Read more on Fake McCain Supporter Again Revealed As Fake…
  left-wing propaganda

Faux ‘New York Times’ Reveals Hippies’ Vision For Utopian Future

Some liberal group of liberals produced a fake edition of the New York Times revealing all the wonderful things that will happen once hippies rule the world, next July. The evil corporate Harvard Business School will close forever; George Bush will be tried for war crimes; and the Patriot Act will be repealed by a 99-1 vote, with only a drunken Jon Kyl dissenting. Jesus, reading this thing is like crawling in Medea Benjamin’s brain. Come join us in a tour of this bleeding-heart masturbation pamphlet. Read more on Faux ‘New York Times’ Reveals Hippies’ Vision For Utopian Future…
  terrible lies

University Provost’s E-mail Hacked, Tells Students That Election Has Been Delayed

OK, college kids, we know that you immediately will believe anything that a dumb Internet message tells you, but this e-mail from George Mason University’s “Provost” is, in fact, a hoax sent by racist hackers trying to stop the black guy from winning Virginia. So go out and vote as planned, it won’t take long, and then you can continue to play your Britney Spears Xbox games on the Wii. Read more on University Provost’s E-mail Hacked, Tells Students That Election Has Been Delayed…
  america at a crossroads

Ashley Todd, Our Greatest Hope For FREEDOM!

Here’s your favorite Ashley Todd, the little smiling hobbit down there with her pals and her first hero, the Doctor Congressman Ron Paul, with Cowboy Jesus looking on in the background. Ashley’s not a “Real Paultard,” as she decided to root for another candidate after Ron Paul lost miserably. This hypocrisy is considered rather uncouth by the Paultard Council. But she was with the Paultards long enough to learn how to act like a fucking idiot, and this is how we should remember her. We decided the occasion called for a touch of sepia, beg yr pardon. Read more on Ashley Todd, Our Greatest Hope For FREEDOM!…
  yes we carve

NICE TRY, FRAUDBOT: Oh looky, she’s changed her story: “The student, Ashley Todd, of College Station, Texas, initially said a black man robbed her at knifepoint Wednesday night and then cut her cheek after seeing a McCain sticker on her car. Police say bank surveillance footage doesn’t show her at an ATM where she says she was attacked. Todd, who is white, now says she was knocked unconscious and doesn’t remember being cut. She now says she only discovered the wound later.” She is the President of Lies. [AP] Read more on …
  wave of mutilation

A Children’s Treasury Of Ashley Todd Updates

Ashley Todd is the brave young patriot Ken and Jim have been writing about nonstop since yesterday evening. She got robbed of her pocket change by an angry dyslexic Negro monster lurking behind a Pittsburgh-area money hole, and then Twittered about it all the way home, and now nobody believes her story because America is still a very sexist nation. This morning we found one billion tips in our inbox containing various sordid revelations regarding this tragic victim. Let’s take a look… Read more on A Children’s Treasury Of Ashley Todd Updates…
 

HOPE.NET UN-HACKED: A concerned reader writes, “when I checked this morning, Hope.net now links to BarackObama.com. That seems to prove that the site was truly hacked after all, even though many of the commentators seem to want to believe it was fake.” Ha ha so suck on that, COMMENTATORS. [Wonkette] Read more on …
 

Paultards Enraged At Fake City

Ron Paul’s most fervent supporters were outraged to learn that “Watson University” had rescinded an invitation for the Libertarian congressman to speak there. One commenter on The City Desk declared angrily that “Ron Paul can teach your entire student body more in 1 hour than they learn in 4 years of study.” But the biggest problem with this educational institution isn’t their brazen dis of America’s greatest patriot. It’s that it doesn’t exist. Read more on Paultards Enraged At Fake City…
 

Good News From the Internet

A tipster sent us this email, which he says came from his son, a conservative blogger. Morale: Morale among the rest of the warbloggers is very high. They not only believe that they are winning, but that they are winning decisively. They are stunned and dismayed by what they see in the MSM, whom they almost universally view as against them. Alexa is despised and distrusted. For the most part, they’re satisfied with Movable Type, WordPress, and Glenn Reynolds. Bottom line though, and they all say this, is that there just aren’t enough blogs to spread the good news about the rise of citizen journalism and drive the final stake through the heart of the MSM. They see people like CNN inviting bloggers to parties, they know they’re trying to influence the entire blogosphere. Because CNN and Dan Rather just can’t stand the idea of Powerline supplanting the New York Times. Read more on Good News From the Internet…