Need a new Internet Slogan now that all your other old, worn-out slogans were used up by Weezer or immigrants? Here is one for you, only a day old and still pretty much used up like Krusty’s porn: I am aware of all Internet Traditions. What the hell? We will tell you, and you’ll feel dumber for it. MORE »

Here’s a doll of “Onkle Barack,” as crafted by a renowned artisan from Nazi Germany. It only costs 139 Euros, which is like 200 or 300 Ameros, so you all can buy it and sleep with it because you like him so damn much, rotten kids… [Some German Online Store, Spiegel]

We have seen some “chatter” about the second-straight brilliant episode of Hardball today, and hot damn, this is some seven-diamond comedy here. Matthews is interviewing Republican radio host “Kevin James,” who screams in some white-trash voice about Obama being an appeaser for a couple minutes, before — around 4:00 into the clip — Matthews annihilates him, calls him “pathetic,” says “you don’t know anything,” and does this for several minutes. Nice work. Do it again tomorrow! [MSNBC]

The famously stupid Tennessee GOP is launching this lovely 4-minute “ad” to welcome Michelle Obama to Nashville, uh, metaphorically? It shows her saying that one time that she’s only been proud of America once in her adult lifetime, and then it asks Average Tennesseans to name times they’ve been proud of America. The first Average subject is “Tate,” a preppy, rich grad student at Vanderbilt — can’t be more than 25, 30 years old at most — noting how proud he was when we defeated Hitler, which maybe happened during his previous adult lifetime? [YouTube]

So the AP is doing this big feature on our Five Glorious Years of War In Iraq, and the story will be called, obviously, “Five Years In Iraq: The Blogger War.” And it is illustrated with, of course, a file photo of this Broadway theater during the thrilling run of the musical celebration Hitler’s Children, featuring the legendary blogger Xavier Cugat and, necessarily, the comedic stylings of Henny Youngman. The question is, Who do we need to go back in time and kill in order to prevent all of this from happening? MORE »

* Michelle Obama on things that shouldn’t be said out loud. [Wizbang]
* Senator, how does it feel to get beat by a girl? [Think Progress]
* John Edwards to go the way of John McCain. [Political Wire]
* Bill unleashes some fury that even a wingbag provocateur can take notice of. [Hot Air]
* Hey remember how bad it was when people said mean things about Patraeus for supporting the war? Looks like there’s no corollary. [Election Central]
* New York college students are looking to Obama to get them laid. [Swamp Politics]
* So what if we made a building that looks like a swastika? [Fresh Intelligence]

Beloved 1988 Dem nominee Michael Dukakis was such a crappy candidate that he lost to despised vice president George Bush, so now he’s warning America that the Republicans will still figure out a way to keep the White House beyond 2008, even though everybody hates the Republicans and all the GOP candidates and especially Bush Junior and Dick Cheney. MORE »

* Documentary film The War Tapes screens at the Black Cat. “Called up for service in Iraq, several members of the National Guard were given digital video cameras. This astonishing film, edited from their footage, provides an unimaginably vivid perspective on an extremely complex and troubled conflict.” $5 at 9PM. [Black Cat]
* Norman Mailer discusses his Hitler novel with Alan Cheuse at Wesley United Methodist Church. It’s going to be good because Mailer’s mind is deteriorating quickly: “Norman Mailer returns with a new novel, a fictional chronicle of Hitler’s boyhood, told by a devil sent by Satan to nurture the nascent evil in the future dictator and mass murderer. Much of the novel is focused on Hitler’s father Alois, a minor provincial customs official, who, according to this account, spawned his son from an act of incest.” You need tickets, they are $12 and the “conversation” begins at 7PM. [P&P]
* Hear some pre-WW2 blues and folk songs with the Old Crow Medicine Show at the Recher Theatre. $25 at 8PM. [Recher Theatre]

Every week, our Anonymous Lobbyist answers your questions about how laws get made and why they probably shouldn’t.

In this week’s installment, I bring you the collection of the weirdest, most difficult-to-answer questions I have ever received that don’t have anything to do with my physical attributes. Want to ask something ever so slightly more coherent? Email me.

MORE »

The citizenry’s attack on the Hill continues, and this time a half-dozen protesters have been arrested outside Hillary Clinton’s senate office in the Russell Building. MORE »

The Obama/Osama presidential race war continues with an actual on-air apology from Wolf Hitler Blitzer to Senator Barack Hussein Obama. Why so sorry? Because some graphics person at CNN “accidentally” typed “Where’s Obama?” over a picture of some scary terror-fascist Mahometans. This was on last night’s “Situation Room,” which somebody apparently watched. MORE »