Tag Archives: hitler

  Profiles in Courage

Donald Trump Takes Bold Stand Against Hitler

Take THAT, Adolf! Would ya check out the big beautiful balls on this guy? No wonder Republicans love Donald Trump for being willing to make with the tough talk that all those other “gutless” candidates are too afraid of: Read more on Donald Trump Takes Bold Stand Against Hitler…
  He's equal opportunity

Ben Carson Will Protect Jews, No Matter What Religion They Are

Thinking about how to protect Jewish people.
Protector of the Jews, even if they’re not Jewish. Hey, remember that time “presidential candidate” Ben Carson got all confused about Israel’s system of government, and why don’t they just do a normal Congress with a Senate and a House and a Democrat Party and a Republican Party, like American countries do? Well, why don’t they? Why the Jewishes gotta be all confusing with multiple “parties” and foreign nerd words like “Knesset”? It’s just too much, and Ben Carson did that thing where he separated conjoined twins at the head that one time, so he knows when stuff is TOO complicated. Read more on Ben Carson Will Protect Jews, No Matter What Religion They Are…
  So wasteful!

Fox News Jackass Greg Gutfeld Will Keep Fetuses In Wastebaskets Where They Belong

This is what Greg Gutfeld looks like when he thinks he just made a point.
This is what Greg Gutfeld looks like when he thinks he just made a point. Yr Wonkette, as you know, is a pro-life mommyblog. HEAR US OUT. We’re pro-life in the REAL, grown-up way, the one where abortion is legal, and women should have a right to do with their living bodies as they please, and we believe in doing all that we can to support living, breathing human beings. Also, fetal tissue research is VITAL to finding cures for cancer and developing vaccines and all sorts of other things. Heck, it’s so great that wingnut presidential candidate Ben Carson used to do it all the time! So, considering these facts, it’s very PRO-LIFE to support women in their choices to donate fetal tissue after abortions, so that tissue can be used to SAVE THE WORLD! Read more on Fox News Jackass Greg Gutfeld Will Keep Fetuses In Wastebaskets Where They Belong…
  let's gossip about the week's top stories

Sass-Mouth Barack Obama Sasses The Republicans, Sassily. Your Weekly Top Ten.

I laugh at you idiots! So much!
Hey Wonkers! It is Sunday, and whew, what a week we had! Your Wonkette got lost (broken because bad server was bad), but then was found (fixed with a shiny new server!), was blind but now it sees! And you all made that possible! If you have not had a chance, please read our heartfelt THANK YOU for all the moneys you gave us to help us in our time of need. Read more on Sass-Mouth Barack Obama Sasses The Republicans, Sassily. Your Weekly Top Ten….
  Christian martyrs

Gay-Hating Oregon Bakers Real Tired Of Getting Concentration Camped By Hitler

Ready for another dumb Hitler analogy, because this is the week where we do those? Let’s get reacquainted with Aaron and Melissa Klein, who decided to be martyrs just like Jesus, by refusing to make a cake for a lesbian wedding. Then they lost their bakery, because they are twats, and then Satan personally attacked them by canceling their GoFundMe, which they planned to use to pay the fine they owed the state of Oregon, for the crime of being twats. This was obviously more persecution, because it says right there in the book of Romans that all good Christians are entitled to a GoFundMe. Read more on Gay-Hating Oregon Bakers Real Tired Of Getting Concentration Camped By Hitler…
  Here a Hitler there a Hitler

Verified Jew Person Sarah Silverman Is Biggest Hitler Since Barack Obama

Not what she said exactly but whatever!
So many Hitlers in the news this week, so little time! Barack Obama is doing Hitler stuff by making a deal with Iran to try to keep them from getting a bomb, which is very different from Republicans’ request of can we please just bomb that Muzzie country what scares us so much, and probably set off World War Three in doing so? Either you’re down with that plan or you’re totally Hitler. And now Sarah Silverman, a Twitter-verified Jewish, is one-upping Obama’s Hitler-ness by saying that Planned Parenthood is okay and doesn’t actually sell baby parts, even though it’s obvious that it sells so many baby parts. Coming soon to a mall near you! The Planned Parenthood Baby Parts Store! Right between Claire’s and Wet Seal!  (They do not sell baby parts, and if you believe that you are a fucking dumbshit.) Read more on Verified Jew Person Sarah Silverman Is Biggest Hitler Since Barack Obama…
  Hide yr dergs!

Oh No, Barack Obama Is Going To Do The Puppy Holocaust Now, For Allah!

DON'T BELIEVE HIM BO.
You know that thing during the Super Bowl, where there is the Puppy Bowl for all the girls and homosexuals who are only there for the spiked punch? And know how, as per Mike Huckabee, Obama is doing the REAL HOLOCAUST to Israel, by making a deal to keep Iran nuke-free? Well, apparently Obama’s got time for a puppy Holocaust for Allah, during the commercial breaks of the real Holocaust, according to wingnut radio host Michael Savage, who we actually didn’t know still existed: Read more on Oh No, Barack Obama Is Going To Do The Puppy Holocaust Now, For Allah!…
  Mad at our nation's stupidest governor

Bobby Jindal Will Talk Gun Violence, Soon As He’s Done Giving The NRA This Rimjob

Bless his dumbass heart. Or fuck him in the ear. Whatever.
Bobby Jindal, craven asshole: Despite the fact that John Russell Houser had a long history of mental illness and arrests but was able to legally purchase a .40 caliber semi-automatic handgun at a pawn shop, Governor Bobby Jindal repeatedly told reporters he would not talk about gun control. Read more on Bobby Jindal Will Talk Gun Violence, Soon As He’s Done Giving The NRA This Rimjob…
  Let's gossip about the week's stop stories

A Completely True Story About A Brazilian Pastor And His Holy Peen Milk. Your Weekly Top Ten

Ooh look a kitten.
Hey Wonkers! It is Sunday, and you are probably thinking “ooh I just clicked on this post HARD because I want to know about the Brazilian pastor and his holy peen milk” and we hate to break it to you, but it’s not true. The number two story of the week, FOR SOME REASON, was this thing we wrote in 2013, about a Brazilian pastor and his holy peen sperm milk, which turned out to be fakity fake fake, which NEVER HAPPENS AT WONKETTE. It just happened this one time, in 2013, because we do not speak Brazilianese and hey, nobody is perfect. But SOMEBODY posted it on Facebook this week, or on Tinder, we’re not quite sure, and it got eleventy million page views, so, because this is an honest and ethical top ten list, we are being honest about how it was the number two story of the week. If you are the person who posted it, please come forward so Wonkette can give you a spanking right on your bottom. Read more on A Completely True Story About A Brazilian Pastor And His Holy Peen Milk. Your Weekly Top Ten…
  He seemed nice

Lafayette Shooter Was Teabaggin’, Gay-Hatin’, Hitler-Lovin’ Fool, THANKS OBAMA!

Just another member of the Lone Wolf Freedom Shooty Brigade Of Lone Wolves
If the online footprint of the Lafayette shooter identified by police as John Russell Houser, who killed two and injured nine others during a Thursday night showing of Amy Schumer’s Trainwreck before then killing himself, is any indication, Obama has really outdone himself in the false flag department this time. What did Houser hate? Pretty much everything that’s good and decent. What did he love? The Tea Party (at least enough to have an account, according to the Southern Poverty Law Center, on the Tea Party Nation website), white supremacy, and also, too, Hitler. Let’s have a look-see, starting with a Twitter account bearing Houser’s name, and with only two tweets: Read more on Lafayette Shooter Was Teabaggin’, Gay-Hatin’, Hitler-Lovin’ Fool, THANKS OBAMA!…
  Reality Czech

Lighthearted Reality Show Sends Czech Family To Nazi Summer Camp

Image via Ceska Televize American reality television is having a rough summer reputation-wise, what with the failed Bachelor pairings and the creepy wifely subservience and the repellent allegations of sexual abuse of children. Maybe our camera crews should try for a wholesome reboot and set up shop in a nice spot in the country with a full complement of Nazis. Read more on Lighthearted Reality Show Sends Czech Family To Nazi Summer Camp…
  Lowest bar ever for Godwin

Tennessee Pol: Chalk-Drawing Protest Slogans The New Kristallnacht. Not Over-Reacting A Bit!

Time to Holocaust the Christian bakeries!
A state senator’s hometown office was attacked by a vicious assault of sidewalk chalk, and he has responded by explicitly calling the chalkers Nazis. Oy vey. Sen. Todd Gardenhire (R-Chattanooga) is a conservative member of the Tennessee state Senate. He recently voted against Gov. Bill Haslam’s Insure TN, an attempt to conservatively expand Medicaid in the most conservative way possible even though that’s pretty much what Obamacare is, but whatever. Small victories. Apparently, Insure TN wasn’t conservative enough for some senators, with seven of them voting against it and ultimately defeating it, even though almost all of them are on government health insurance. Shockingly, lots of poor people across Tennessee were mad that Republicans are down with poor people dying (whiners), so they struck back in the most vicious way possible: chalk drawings on the sidewalk. Fight the power! Read more on Tennessee Pol: Chalk-Drawing Protest Slogans The New Kristallnacht. Not Over-Reacting A Bit!…
  One Angry Dwarf

Chuck C. Johnson In Middle Of Sexy Drowned Stewardess Hitler Fantasia

It may have been a holiday weekend, but the news never stops — and neither does sleazy reporting remora Chuck C. Johnson, who can always find a way to say something surreally horrifying about almost anything. Consider that missing AirAsia flight, for instance, which led Mr. Johnson to think with his Johnson: Read more on Chuck C. Johnson In Middle Of Sexy Drowned Stewardess Hitler Fantasia…
  E. Coli Now Smarter Than Creationists!

Michigan State University Gets To Learn Why Darwin Did The Holocaust

It may not have this been this exact painting.
Thanks to some help from a campus student group, Michigan State University’s campus in East Lansing gets to host a great big Creationism conference, not that the university itself is particularly excited about the prospect of bringing in a bunch of goofballs to argue that Darwin = Hitler. Read more on Michigan State University Gets To Learn Why Darwin Did The Holocaust…
  you know who else ... ?

British Politician Gives Hot Tip To Youngsters: Learn To Talk Like Hitler

We will totally admit that we do not know much about politics in Merry Olde Limeyland, mostly because the parliamentary system seems really fucking complicated. How do you British people keep track of them all? Do you just kind of lose track of some of the parties? Because we’re thinking maybe that’s a possible excuse for the existence of one Bill Etheridge, a UK Independence Party (UKip!!) member of the European Parliament (MEP!!) who gave a little public speaking seminar for aspiring politicians where one of his pro-tips was that speakers should emulate Hitler. Read more on British Politician Gives Hot Tip To Youngsters: Learn To Talk Like Hitler…