Tag Archives: hitler

  Hide yr dergs!

Oh No, Barack Obama Is Going To Do The Puppy Holocaust Now, For Allah!

DON'T BELIEVE HIM BO.
You know that thing during the Super Bowl, where there is the Puppy Bowl for all the girls and homosexuals who are only there for the spiked punch? And know how, as per Mike Huckabee, Obama is doing the REAL HOLOCAUST to Israel, by making a deal to keep Iran nuke-free? Well, apparently Obama’s got time for a puppy Holocaust for Allah, during the commercial breaks of the real Holocaust, according to wingnut radio host Michael Savage, who we actually didn’t know still existed: Read more on Oh No, Barack Obama Is Going To Do The Puppy Holocaust Now, For Allah!…
  Mad at our nation's stupidest governor

Bobby Jindal Will Talk Gun Violence, Soon As He’s Done Giving The NRA This Rimjob

Bless his dumbass heart. Or fuck him in the ear. Whatever.
Bobby Jindal, craven asshole: Despite the fact that John Russell Houser had a long history of mental illness and arrests but was able to legally purchase a .40 caliber semi-automatic handgun at a pawn shop, Governor Bobby Jindal repeatedly told reporters he would not talk about gun control. Read more on Bobby Jindal Will Talk Gun Violence, Soon As He’s Done Giving The NRA This Rimjob…
  Let's gossip about the week's stop stories

A Completely True Story About A Brazilian Pastor And His Holy Peen Milk. Your Weekly Top Ten

Ooh look a kitten.
Hey Wonkers! It is Sunday, and you are probably thinking “ooh I just clicked on this post HARD because I want to know about the Brazilian pastor and his holy peen milk” and we hate to break it to you, but it’s not true. The number two story of the week, FOR SOME REASON, was this thing we wrote in 2013, about a Brazilian pastor and his holy peen sperm milk, which turned out to be fakity fake fake, which NEVER HAPPENS AT WONKETTE. It just happened this one time, in 2013, because we do not speak Brazilianese and hey, nobody is perfect. But SOMEBODY posted it on Facebook this week, or on Tinder, we’re not quite sure, and it got eleventy million page views, so, because this is an honest and ethical top ten list, we are being honest about how it was the number two story of the week. If you are the person who posted it, please come forward so Wonkette can give you a spanking right on your bottom. Read more on A Completely True Story About A Brazilian Pastor And His Holy Peen Milk. Your Weekly Top Ten…
  He seemed nice

Lafayette Shooter Was Teabaggin’, Gay-Hatin’, Hitler-Lovin’ Fool, THANKS OBAMA!

Just another member of the Lone Wolf Freedom Shooty Brigade Of Lone Wolves
If the online footprint of the Lafayette shooter identified by police as John Russell Houser, who killed two and injured nine others during a Thursday night showing of Amy Schumer’s Trainwreck before then killing himself, is any indication, Obama has really outdone himself in the false flag department this time. What did Houser hate? Pretty much everything that’s good and decent. What did he love? The Tea Party (at least enough to have an account, according to the Southern Poverty Law Center, on the Tea Party Nation website), white supremacy, and also, too, Hitler. Let’s have a look-see, starting with a Twitter account bearing Houser’s name, and with only two tweets: Read more on Lafayette Shooter Was Teabaggin’, Gay-Hatin’, Hitler-Lovin’ Fool, THANKS OBAMA!…
  Reality Czech

Lighthearted Reality Show Sends Czech Family To Nazi Summer Camp

Image via Ceska Televize American reality television is having a rough summer reputation-wise, what with the failed Bachelor pairings and the creepy wifely subservience and the repellent allegations of sexual abuse of children. Maybe our camera crews should try for a wholesome reboot and set up shop in a nice spot in the country with a full complement of Nazis. Read more on Lighthearted Reality Show Sends Czech Family To Nazi Summer Camp…
  Lowest bar ever for Godwin

Tennessee Pol: Chalk-Drawing Protest Slogans The New Kristallnacht. Not Over-Reacting A Bit!

A state senator’s hometown office was attacked by a vicious assault of sidewalk chalk, and he has responded by explicitly calling the chalkers Nazis. Oy vey. Sen. Todd Gardenhire (R-Chattanooga) is a conservative member of the Tennessee state Senate. He recently voted against Gov. Bill Haslam’s Insure TN, an attempt to conservatively expand Medicaid in the most conservative way possible even though that’s pretty much what Obamacare is, but whatever. Small victories. Apparently, Insure TN wasn’t conservative enough for some senators, with seven of them voting against it and ultimately defeating it, even though almost all of them are on government health insurance. Shockingly, lots of poor people across Tennessee were mad that Republicans are down with poor people dying (whiners), so they struck back in the most vicious way possible: chalk drawings on the sidewalk. Fight the power! Read more on Tennessee Pol: Chalk-Drawing Protest Slogans The New Kristallnacht. Not Over-Reacting A Bit!…
  One Angry Dwarf

Chuck C. Johnson In Middle Of Sexy Drowned Stewardess Hitler Fantasia

It may have been a holiday weekend, but the news never stops — and neither does sleazy reporting remora Chuck C. Johnson, who can always find a way to say something surreally horrifying about almost anything. Consider that missing AirAsia flight, for instance, which led Mr. Johnson to think with his Johnson: Read more on Chuck C. Johnson In Middle Of Sexy Drowned Stewardess Hitler Fantasia…
  E. Coli Now Smarter Than Creationists!

Michigan State University Gets To Learn Why Darwin Did The Holocaust

Actually, we might go to this conference...
Thanks to some help from a campus student group, Michigan State University’s campus in East Lansing gets to host a great big Creationism conference, not that the university itself is particularly excited about the prospect of bringing in a bunch of goofballs to argue that Darwin = Hitler. Read more on Michigan State University Gets To Learn Why Darwin Did The Holocaust…
  you know who else ... ?

British Politician Gives Hot Tip To Youngsters: Learn To Talk Like Hitler

We will totally admit that we do not know much about politics in Merry Olde Limeyland, mostly because the parliamentary system seems really fucking complicated. How do you British people keep track of them all? Do you just kind of lose track of some of the parties? Because we’re thinking maybe that’s a possible excuse for the existence of one Bill Etheridge, a UK Independence Party (UKip!!) member of the European Parliament (MEP!!) who gave a little public speaking seminar for aspiring politicians where one of his pro-tips was that speakers should emulate Hitler. Read more on British Politician Gives Hot Tip To Youngsters: Learn To Talk Like Hitler…
  Dances With Wingnuts

Hey Native Americans, Let Ted Nugent Tell You How To Be Native American Like Him

looks like a tribute to the historic Native American tradition of blowing up breast cancer with grenades
Hey, Dances With Nuge, what is up? Oh, you are more Indian than all the Indians who have canceled your concerts at their awesome casinos, and you would like to tell Glenn Beck about it, and Glenn Beck is the sane one in this exchange? Sounds fun, let’s roll tape! Read more on Hey Native Americans, Let Ted Nugent Tell You How To Be Native American Like Him…
  'hoft' doesn't sound like an american name

There Goes Elizabeth Warren Being Hitler Again

Hitler was also a Harvard professor!
Having successfully fucked over a Texas charity last week, Stupidest Man on the Internet Jim Hoft decided to try some new formats over the weekend, and attempted a Buzzfeed-style listicle. For instance, based on a tip from a reader, he noticed some ideas in Elizabeth Warren’s ‘Eleven Commandments for Progressives” that were “EERILY SIMILAR” to the “25 points of the Nazi Party” as promulgated by Hitler in 1920. We looked at the two lists, and we have to agree: they are both lists! Read more on There Goes Elizabeth Warren Being Hitler Again…
  funny you don't look carbonous

Please Stop Holocausting The Carbon

Just when you thought that the internet had pretty much plumbed the depths of all possible dumb Holocaust analogies, along comes CNBC guest “expert” William Happer, who somehow is a professor in physics at Princeton and also a global warming denier. On CNBC’s Squawk Box the other night, Happer explained that not only are pretty much all climate scientists wrong, but that poor innocent carbon dioxide itself is getting a bum rap, and is being demonized exactly like “the poor Jews under Hitler,” because presumably tiny little trains are about to start deporting all the carbon atoms to death camps where they will be fed to hungry phytoplankton or something. Read more on Please Stop Holocausting The Carbon…
 

Socialist Millennials Will Be The Next Reagan Youth. Also: Confused

The fun libertarians (just kidding) at Reason have a big new poll out about Millennials — okay, not “about” Millennials, as in that case the answer would just be “Millennials suck,” but rather asking Millennials for their “thoughts” about “stuff.” Luckily, the poll confirms everything we have been saying about them since 1986 or so: these little fuckers will be the next Reagan Youth. They are all “waah, cut government” and “waaah, cut Social Security” and “waaah, Obama did not give me anything except reduced student loan payments and health insurance so I do not die of easily preventable diseases and some SNAP benefits so I do not die of scurvy and extended unemployment benefits so I do not die of homelessness except I never held a job long enough to qualify because I quit once I found out the boss of the business was going to tell me to do stuff, HOW IS THAT EVEN FAIR I HAVE RIGHTS, MAAAAAN and also Obama did drones :( gonna update my tumblr brb.” Oh, and also all Millennials are Socialists. Socialists who want to cut the government and Social Security. Let’s sexplore! Read more on Socialist Millennials Will Be The Next Reagan Youth. Also: Confused…
  hippie vice time people

Protip For Rainbow Family Gathering: Don’t Trust Anyone Named ‘Hitler,’ Even If She Is A Hippie

There was some serious harshing of the mellow at this year’s Rainbow Family Gathering near Heber City, Utah, when a hippie lady who calls herself “Hitler” stabbed another hippie person, nonfatally, thank goodness. Leilani Novak-Garcia, who prefers the name “Hitler” (we couldn’t find any background on why she chose that moniker, exactly), was arrested and charged with attempted murder after stabbing a 45-year-old man multiple times. But we bet she had a really good reason! Read more on Protip For Rainbow Family Gathering: Don’t Trust Anyone Named ‘Hitler,’ Even If She Is A Hippie…
  Yelling At Ann Coulter

We’re Liveblogging US Vs Germany In Your AM Happy Links!

GOOOOOAAAAAAAL! This is a thing Spanish-speaking commentator gents will say on the teevee today, hopefully when the US scores a million bajillion points against Germany. We’ve got a whole lotta fun goin’ on at Happy Nice Time People! Read more on We’re Liveblogging US Vs Germany In Your AM Happy Links!…