Tag: history

Let’s Imagine: Jill Stein Treats Trump’s Physician Dr. Harold Bornstein

Dr. Jill Stein ascended the rope ladder to her secret medical tree house, where she practiced secret medicine. Hand over hand, clog over sensible clog, she climbed. Finally, after moving in some more ways that would be boring to describe, she was...
I have heard the derpmaids singing, each to each

Deleted Comments: Wonkette Doesn’t Meet Convicted Felon Dinesh D’Souza’s High Intellectual Standards

Hey, Dinesh D'Souza saw our review of his dumb movie! He didn't like it much.
Big Sister Is Watching You

Dinesh D’Souza’s ‘Hillary’s America’ Turns Your Angry Wingnut Uncle’s Emails Into A Movie

We watched Dinesh D'Souza's latest movie so you won't have to.
American Icon

Bill O’Reilly: Slaves Who Built White House Had It GREAT!

Also, they were helped by some white dudes who did get paid.

A One Hundred Percent Trumpless Appreciation Of Elie Wiesel, RIP

Because that Star of David bullshit can wait till tomorrow.

John McCain Furious Obama Shot Up Orlando, Created ISIS, Bought Last Bag Of Werther’s Originals

John McCain blamed Barack Obama for the mass shooting in Orlando, because his brain just works like that sometimes.
Surely no one who read the Bible would fight for the wrong side

Washington National Cathedral Removing Confederate Stain From Glass Windows

Washington National Cathedral will remove the Confederate battle flag from two stained glass windows donated by the United Daughters of the Confederacy. It's about time they got off their glass.

Obama Gives Thoughtful, Reflective Speech In Hiroshima, Wingnuts Be Damned

Barack Obama's speech in Hiroshima was so good we forgot to be all smartassed about it.
See? Everything's fine now.

Newt Gingrich Just Knows That Pussy Obama’s Gonna Say ‘Sorry’ To Japan For Pearl Harbor

Newt Gingrich, that brilliant historian of history who knows history real good, is seriously worried Barack Obama will weaken America's place in the world when he visits Hiroshima later this month, the first time a sitting U.S. president has...

Jim Webb Feeling Mighty Stabby About These Goldurned Injun-Lovin’ Andrew Jackson Haters

Dead-eyed failed "Democratic" presidential candidate Jim Webb, who killed a guy one time, is very upset about the way kids today are treading all over President Andrew Jackson, just because he genocided a bunch of Native Americans one time. In...
Cowboy Bebop at his computer

At Least Nevada Wingnut Sharron Angle Didn’t Say She Is Nelson Mandela

Perennial Nevada looniebird Sharron Angle, who's pursuing another hilarious run for the U.S. Senate, would like us all to think about the coming metaphorical war for the soul of these United States, and whether we are prepared to fight...
Oh, so THAT'S what that gesture means!

Deleted Comments: Obama Murdered Scalia, Just Like He Killed Joan Rivers!

Hey Kids, welcome to a special Saturday edition of your weekly Deleted Comments, seeing as our how Sunday morning is going to be consumed with giving you good people all the straight dope on the Nevada caucuses and the...

Racists And History Nerds Join Forces To Save New Orleans Confederate Treasures

We reported last week that the New Orleans City Council had voted to grind the city's confederate monuments down to a fine dust and force pig turd racists to snort them for a Festivus miracle. OK maybe it didn't vote for...

Ben Carson Remembers That Time Ben Franklin Gave God A Beej

Brilliant brain doctor Ben Carson is not only great at butchering live baby parts in half (true story!), but he is also great at historical fiction. And not just the Bible kind, though that is his specialty. In October, Carson appeared on Jesus...
The Platonic Ideal Of Cheesy Thanksgiving Photos

No, Mr. Limbaugh, Thanksgiving Is Not A Celebration Of Pilgrims’ Triumph Over Socialism

It's Thanksgiving Day, so as we gather together with (or hide from) our families, however functional or dysfunctional they may be, let us remember the true meaning of any American holiday: It's an opportunity to pound home a political...

Egypt Does Archaeological Dig On Ben Carson’s Brain, Discovers A Idiot

Brilliant neurosurgeon (OR IS HE?) Ben Carson is officially an international disgrace. Congratulations, doctor! You have now joined the elite ranks of several other Republican presidential candidates who have forced foreign nations to "Well, ACTUALLY" them, for their stupidity. Other...