Tag: hipsters

Remember When Elizabeth Warren Literally Murdered Donald Trump On The Twitter? Your Weekly Top Ten

AHOY WONKERS, HOW'S TRICKS? We are fine, thank you for asking. Welcome to Saturday, the day when we deliver unto you the weekly Top Ten List, full of all your favorites from this past week! READ THEM ALL! Or read them...

Chinese Restaurant Server In Trouble For Mocking Jerk Hipsters On Receipt. (Hint: The Hipsters Were Jerks)

In which a server at a Chinese restaurant is schooled by an insufferable hipster on the authenticity of serving rice in small bowls rather than large. STOP IT, HIPSTERS.

Obamas Going To SXSW Like Common Hipsters: Your Wednesday Wonkette Dance Party

Oh hey, Wonkers! Are you ready to have a new weekly feature crammed in your face by your loving Wonkette? Good, because it's happening. SO! Dok writes his nerd thing for all YOU NERDS, but where Evan (me) is...
Yup.

Douchebag Hipsters Named Trevor Would Like A Glass Of Your Finest Rosé Please

First off, apologies to all the Trevors, but we had to pick a name, so we went with Trevor. Or Chase. It could easily be Chase. Would Hunter like to join us? Sup bro? What shall we do this...
This joke never gets old

Who Wants Open Interwebs? Oh, Just Everyone

You'd think, from the reaction of certain especially loud dudes on the right, that President Obama's support of net neutrality was like proposing Obamacare for the internet. Or even the Holocaust. But despite what a few blowhards on the,...

Sovereign Citizen Hipster Musicians Hand-Wrote Their License Plate Before It Was Cool

Here's how dedicated Dustin Rosondich and Xylie Eshleman are to their Sovereign Citizen beliefs: They reject the label "sovereign citizen," because if you're a "citizen, then that means the government owns you, man: “What we are, is we’re Americans,” Eshleman...

Derp Roundup: Michelle Obama Loves Subway. Time For Everyone To Stop Eating Sandwiches.

Welcome to another edition of Derp Roundup, the weekly feature where we take a wire brush to our open browser tabs and bring you the stories that are too stoopid to ignore, but not quite worth a full post...

Deleted Comments Of The Day: Obama Is Bush Except Bush Was Better

We sure got an outpouring of comments on that piece Kaili wrote about George Bush, the hipster doofus artist whose secret name turned out to be Cosmo. The piece generated a surprising number of comments from new accounts --...

No, You Dumbass Hipster Dumbasses, George W. Bush Should Not Be Your New Hipster Icon

Oh hey there, hipsters, whatcha doin'? Drinking your artisanal organic kale lattes in your too-skinny jeans, cutting your hair into a mullet of irony, LOLing at some listicle of 37 People On The Internet Who Are On The Internet,...

Get Your Kewl Old-Timey Rags From the Mitt Romney Vintage Stores

What must Mitt Romney do to reach the kids? How about a filter, on the iPhone? The kids know how to game that. Then maybe... t-shirts with a photograph of a Latin American leftist revolutionary? That would be sort...

Orrin Hatch Calls Obama A Hipster With A Funny Hat And Coffee

Orrin Hatch on the Senate floor, you guys: "President Obama has traded in the hard hat and lunch bucket category of the Democratic Party for a hipster fedora and a double skim latte." Wow, he traded in an entire...

Reasons To Ride the Gentrification Line

Thursday, August 26, and Friday, August 27: Women don't like baseball and neither do kids with peanut allergies, but both breeds are being lured to Nationals Stadium this week by jewelry, handbags and EpiPens. On Thursday, the Nationals are...

Cheap Drinks: Good. $1 Drinks: Better.

There are many, many eateries in DC where you can get drinks. But there are not many eateries where you can get drinks -- good drinks -- for just $1. And, let's face it, there's nothing better than enjoying...

Party Crashing: Wonkette Makes Real-Life Appearance At Hirshhorn Hipster-Fest

Every few months, the Hirshhorn Museum charges local hipsters to look at art that is free to look at every other day of the year. After paying, the hipsters must wait in line to then wait in line some...

BREAKING: Is Chuck Schumer A Hipster? (No, No He Is Not)

No, your eyes do not deceive you: That is in fact a tiny cell phone picture of some nice lady giving Chuck Schumer a "purple nurple." Would it surprise you to find out that this lady is a...

Columbia Heights Now Completely Gentrified By Ghosts

What would happen if you joined the Marines and then were sent to Okinawa to play with radios but then got bored and pretended to have PTSD and then told little children that you ate a grenade to save...