Tag Archives: hipsters

  Here have some news n stuff

Who Wants Open Interwebs? Oh, Just Everyone

This joke never gets old
Via Blurrent You’d think, from the reaction of certain especially loud dudes on the right, that President Obama’s support of net neutrality was like proposing Obamacare for the internet. Or even the Holocaust. But despite what a few blowhards on the, AHEM, internet say, even conservatives think net neutrality is a great idea, actually: Read more on Who Wants Open Interwebs? Oh, Just Everyone…
  with liberty and pbr for all

Sovereign Citizen Hipster Musicians Hand-Wrote Their License Plate Before It Was Cool

Here’s how dedicated Dustin Rosondich and Xylie Eshleman are to their Sovereign Citizen beliefs: They reject the label “sovereign citizen,” because if you’re a “citizen, then that means the government owns you, man: “What we are, is we’re Americans,” Eshleman said. “What we did, is we did Expatriation Act of 1868 … What we did is we took our citizenship and we got rid of it. We’re expatriated from the United States.” That’s all well and good, but it doesn’t make their handwritten license plate — which says “Non Resident 6-55-502. Privilege tax on nonresidents prohibited. Lienholder (my chattel)” — a whit more valid. Even if other loons insist it is so. Also, E Pluribus Boola Boola Alley-ga-roo. Read more on Sovereign Citizen Hipster Musicians Hand-Wrote Their License Plate Before It Was Cool…
  all the derp that's fit to herp

Derp Roundup: Michelle Obama Loves Subway. Time For Everyone To Stop Eating Sandwiches.

Welcome to another edition of Derp Roundup, the weekly feature where we take a wire brush to our open browser tabs and bring you the stories that are too stoopid to ignore, but not quite worth a full post on their own. We recommend washing it all down with a big swig of the reality-diluter of your choice. Read more on Derp Roundup: Michelle Obama Loves Subway. Time For Everyone To Stop Eating Sandwiches….
  ugly vile little snark mob with animal-ear hats

Deleted Comments Of The Day: Obama Is Bush Except Bush Was Better

We sure got an outpouring of comments on that piece Kaili wrote about George Bush, the hipster doofus artist whose secret name turned out to be Cosmo. The piece generated a surprising number of comments from new accounts — must have hit a wingnut site somewhere. The news that Dubya was a hipster icon was hailed as welcome news by “hamptonwriter,” who said, Hee hee! What a delicious turn of events! Obama and his ilk are so bad that the young uns are turning back to President Bush. Talk about unintended consequences. Yep, that’s some groundswell of demand for GWB or someone just like him from all the young folks. Only one problem with your analysis, hamptonwriter — the whole point of the “Bush as hipster icon” thing was that his naïve art might find an audience with people who know nothing about his politics. Read more on Deleted Comments Of The Day: Obama Is Bush Except Bush Was Better…
  No no no no wrong and no

No, You Dumbass Hipster Dumbasses, George W. Bush Should Not Be Your New Hipster Icon

Oh hey there, hipsters, whatcha doin’? Drinking your artisanal organic kale lattes in your too-skinny jeans, cutting your hair into a mullet of irony, LOLing at some listicle of 37 People On The Internet Who Are On The Internet, and thinking George Dubya Bush is, like, cool? Some lady writer at Vanity Fair (who, ahem, used to be a lady writer at this, Yr Wonkette, so we are especially disappointed and are holding a meeting this very moment to decide whether to revoke her Wonk credentials) thinks so. Lately, George W. Bush is a hipster icon, and the Internet, unofficial Fourth Estate of the youth of America, is totally buying it. […] In Bush’s case, this transformation has been all the easier because the arbiters of Internet cool were tween in 2007 and are far more likely to have read a Buzzfeed listicle about Bush’s dog paintings than they are to have read, say, the John Yoo torture memos. But even those old enough to remember hating Bush are wise enough to recognize that they are no longer the deciders (as it were) of what’s hip. Okay, arbiters of Internet cool, if this is what you really think — and Christ, we hope not, we hope this is just one journolady writing a thing on a slow news week — we have one word for you: CUTTHATSHITOUTRIGHTNOWGODDAMNIT! Read more on No, You Dumbass Hipster Dumbasses, George W. Bush Should Not Be Your New Hipster Icon…
  stylish mittens

Get Your Kewl Old-Timey Rags From the Mitt Romney Vintage Stores

What must Mitt Romney do to reach the kids? How about a filter, on the iPhone? The kids know how to game that. Then maybe… t-shirts with a photograph of a Latin American leftist revolutionary? That would be sort of leftist. Okay, let’s settle for totebags and stuff that look like Scooby Doo art. It’s all for sale in the official Mitt Romney Vintage collection! Read more on Get Your Kewl Old-Timey Rags From the Mitt Romney Vintage Stores…
  grampa's been reading david brooks again

Orrin Hatch Calls Obama A Hipster With A Funny Hat And Coffee

Orrin Hatch on the Senate floor, you guys: “President Obama has traded in the hard hat and lunch bucket category of the Democratic Party for a hipster fedora and a double skim latte.” Wow, he traded in an entire category of his coalition for a single hat and coffee drink! Is that a “Fair Trade” of the sort that the hipsters love so much? Ha ha ha… eh… kill us now? [Buzzfeed] Read more on Orrin Hatch Calls Obama A Hipster With A Funny Hat And Coffee…
  food/booze news!

Reasons To Ride the Gentrification Line

Thursday, August 26, and Friday, August 27: Women don’t like baseball and neither do kids with peanut allergies, but both breeds are being lured to Nationals Stadium this week by jewelry, handbags and EpiPens. On Thursday, the Nationals are hosting a Vegas themed pre-game party complete with massages and manicures for all womenfolk in DC. On Friday, they’re creating a peanut-free section so kids with this life impediment can enjoy a game without the prospect of death. [Ladies Night and Peanut Free Night with the Nationals] Read more on Reasons To Ride the Gentrification Line…
  yeeeahhh french toast

Cheap Drinks: Good. $1 Drinks: Better.

There are many, many eateries in DC where you can get drinks. But there are not many eateries where you can get drinks — good drinks — for just $1. And, let’s face it, there’s nothing better than enjoying a next-to-free-boozey-free-for-all in a semi-upscale restaurant, even if the restaurant is often filled with fanny pack-toting out-of-towners getting their drink on in preparation for a long day of intensive Segway touring. Read more on Cheap Drinks: Good. $1 Drinks: Better….
 

Party Crashing: Wonkette Makes Real-Life Appearance At Hirshhorn Hipster-Fest

Every few months, the Hirshhorn Museum charges local hipsters to look at art that is free to look at every other day of the year. After paying, the hipsters must wait in line to then wait in line some more to buy drinks and to dance with Summer Camp, DC’s favorite drag queen, at the After Hours party. Team Wonkette has become less and less agoraphobic over the years (except for Jack, who still has yet to prove he’s real) and was on assignment at the party last Friday night. How could we miss this opportunity to get busy with the hipster underbelly of DC, wear skinny jeans and not really look at the art in favor of drinking? Read more on Party Crashing: Wonkette Makes Real-Life Appearance At Hirshhorn Hipster-Fest…
  senators should not be allowed outside

BREAKING: Is Chuck Schumer A Hipster? (No, No He Is Not)

No, your eyes do not deceive you: That is in fact a tiny cell phone picture of some nice lady giving Chuck Schumer a “purple nurple.” Would it surprise you to find out that this lady is a faithful Wonkette fan? Probably not! Would it surprise you to find out that she molested New York’s senior senator at some unbearably hip outdoor concert in Williamsburg (the Brooklyn one, not the colonial one) and that Chuck Schumer single-handedly saved that show, only to be met by baffled disdain from New York’s apathetic hipsters? That may in fact be mildly surprising, so read on for the details. Read more on BREAKING: Is Chuck Schumer A Hipster? (No, No He Is Not)…
  metro section

Columbia Heights Now Completely Gentrified By Ghosts

What would happen if you joined the Marines and then were sent to Okinawa to play with radios but then got bored and pretended to have PTSD and then told little children that you ate a grenade to save Lt. Dan during a heavy firefight in Fallujah and then bought a bunch of medallions to pin on your shirt from eBay and then got all sorts of free goodies because everyone thought you were a fabulous war hero? Thanks to the efforts of a brave Marine, we now have the answer. [Washington Times] Read more on Columbia Heights Now Completely Gentrified By Ghosts… Read more on Columbia Heights Now Completely Gentrified By Ghosts…
 

Sexy Wonkette Makes Rare Appearance At Hipster Hirshhorn Party

Your Wonkette usually spends its Friday nights attending John Boehner beach parties or Sarah Palin wolverine sniper hunts, but you know what? It’s been years since Wonkette has attended Hirshhorn After Hours. So on Friday, July 24, 2009 AD, Team Wonkette partied with the hipster underbelly of DC. And everyone had fun, except Jim. [Untrue, Riley; you are fired — Ed.] Read more on Sexy Wonkette Makes Rare Appearance At Hipster Hirshhorn Party…
  the war at home

Violent Footage Of Local Pillow Biter Fight

If you have not checked out Intern Elizabeth’s terrifying images of hipster violence on the National Mall over the weekend, during the Cherry Blossom Festival, you should do that. Here is a high-resolution film of the event, in which perfectly good goose feather pillows were destroyed because the Internet told them to. [YouTube] Read more on Violent Footage Of Local Pillow Biter Fight…
  america's punditry

Jonah Goldberg: Why Is Ex-Slave Barack Obama Trying To Reinstitute Slavery?

Dumb dumb dumb, dumb dumb dumb, dumb, dumb, dumb, dumb dumb dumb dumb dumb, dumb dumb dumb dumb. That is one “dumb” for each paragraph of Jonah Goldberg’s Los Angeles Times column today. For the record, we did not expect it to be “good,” in the traditional sense — we didn’t expect to read it at all! But 18 paragraphs of unmitigated “dumb” has a strangely magnetic appeal during this lazy news season. So let’s check out Jonah’s column, in which he argues that Obama’s plan to offer educational aid as a reward for national service is somehow both (a) welfare and (b) slavery. Europe, MTV, “the JFK cult,” and Rolling Stone magazine also play bit parts in Jonah’s remarkable paean to the God of Shit. Read more on Jonah Goldberg: Why Is Ex-Slave Barack Obama Trying To Reinstitute Slavery?…
  late night shots

YOUR LATE NIGHT SHOTS PARTY WEEKEND SCHED, BRO: Pro-laxin’, bro. “LNS will once again be taking its chartered bus out to Bayhawks Stadium for this Saturday’s pro lacrosse matchup. The day starts at Rugby at 4, the luxury party bus leaves 5:45, faceoff is at 7, and all LNS ticket holders get free beer for the entire game. The nightcap post party will be held at Smith Point in Georgetown. We have spots for about 18 more washed-up ex-lacrosse players (male or female) who enjoy drinking cans of Bud Light while listening to Christopher Cross, Go West, Billy Idol and AC/DC.” But what about the hipster chicks and their “lithe vegan bodies,” dood? Who cares about those sluts, bro. Get your lax tix here, dood. [LNS Weekly] Read more on …
 

It’s Monday, we’re hungover, you’re hungover, so here are some pictures of young DCenesters in their underwear. We’ll get to the substantive stuff later. [BYT]
 

Wonkette Party Crash: Garutachi Underwear Dance Night

Why should New York get all the fun of alternatively laughing at and lusting after barely dressed coked-out hip kids? That was the question posed by the good people at Garutachi, an indie dance party frequented by people who look better but have significantly worse judgment than you. Last weekend, they threw an underwear party, offering free Sparks to anyone bold enough to strip down on their way in. Gawker’s own Nikola Tamindzic was in town, and he was kind enough to stop by the party and take a couple pictures. His own NSFW gallery is available here. Our gallery, with the usual snide remarks, is below. We would’ve gone to it ourselves, but we were busy that night sitting at home with a bottle of rye. Read more on Wonkette Party Crash: Garutachi Underwear Dance Night…
 

Bar Crash: Black Cat Smoke Out

Lighting up in a bar became illegal as the Washington, DC smoking ban went into effect midnight last night. Local music venue/watering hole the Black Cat, whose staff was almost unanimous in their denunciation of the ban, celebrated last night with an official Smoke Out, at which patrons could enjoy their last legal public cigarettes. Read more on Bar Crash: Black Cat Smoke Out…
 

Rumors On The Internets: Extra Early/Late Edition

* Have ridiculous political views? Dying for attention? Don’t waste time starting a blog — call C-SPAN and loudly hurl insults at Jimmy Carter. [Think Progress] * Brooklyn hipsters who spot Barbara Bush out drinking can’t decide between whether to “vomit on” or “hate fuck” her. [Williamsboard] * Giant pink house conspires with illegal Guatemalans to keep Mitt Romney out of giant White House. [DCeiver] * Bloggers who post their “enemies list” — including recently elected members of Congress who haven’t had a day on the job yet — need to switch to decaf. [The Blogometer] * The Corner bloggers’ had the delusional idea that Rick Santorum will replace Bolton. [The Corner] * Hank Paulson: administration coffin nailer. [Robert Reich] Read more on Rumors On The Internets: Extra Early/Late Edition…
 

Rumors On The Internets: Because Bread is Boring and Circuses Suck

* Dick Cheney’s new book, “If I Did It: Faking the Case for War,” soon to be released. [HuffPo] * Teenagers rejoice as new Democratic Congress promises drug-filled condoms in schools. [Right was Right] * Newt Gingrich forgets to take his megalomania medication, gives interview. [Political Wire] * Enterprising hipsters look to break the yellow ribbon monopoly on Iraq War-themed SUV adornment. [Ride Lugged] * Military doesn’t believe in love, tells Cher to where to stick her documentary. [NYDN] * Bust a nut for peace. [MoJo Blog] Read more on Rumors On The Internets: Because Bread is Boring and Circuses Suck…