April 17, 2014
The other night, Bill O’Reilly got mad at hippies and the “grievance industry” — America’s supposed cultural/political movement that encourages everyone who isn’t Bill O’Reilly to think they’re a victim of racism or sexism. O’Reilly also had some grievances of his own, especially after being victimized by this Stephen Colbert fellow, whose ratings are nowhere […]
This week, we’ll continue our look at the 1960s as viewed through the reality distortion goggles of rightwing Christian textbooks. If you find yourself getting dizzy, go read Rick Perlstein’s Nixonland until you can see straight again. (And if you haven’t read Nixonland, what is wrong with you?)
“Hey, Hey, LBJ! How much Taxpayer Money did you waste on social engineering today?” chanted no one ever. And yet both of our Christian-oriented textbooks for homeschoolers might leave the modern student thinking that the most controversial thing about the 36th president was all that spending he did. Today, we will learn how Lyndon Johnson […]
In excellent news for everyone who’s ever harangued you about the marvels of industrial-grade hemp (which is not pot, no it isn’t, and legalizing it has nothing to do with trying to legalize the smokable stuff, man, it’s just good ecology and good economics!*), a few pioneering Colorado farmers are bringing in their first harvests […]
Meet Roscoe Bartlett, retired 10-term Republican congressman living 4,000 feet above sea level, in Appalachia. Bartlett owns no guns. Nor does he hoard gasoline and canned goods in a bunker awaiting the collapse of society. He drives a Prius, and has kind words for Al Gore’s thoughts on climate change. He doesn’t drink or smoke. […]
Would you like to know what it looks like when police are not busy arresting 750,000 people A YEAR for getting “high” on the pot? That is so many arrests, but how else are you going to put all the black people in jail? (Sorry black people, you are three times more likely to be […]
Oh. My. God. Libruls are TEH WORST! Damn hippies always seeking to create policy that benefits ‘the poors,’ when we all know that John Calvin, Wordy Shipmates, Shining City on a Hill, America, fuck yeah. Who are the heretics today who seek to desecrate the foundational principles of Jesus’s Capitalist Emporium for Jesus? None other […]
Hey stupid Occupy hippie! Why don’t you love paying taxes, like “Joe” “the Plumber” does? Taxes are cool, they pay for parks and police! Also, it is your patriotic duty to pay your fair share and not, say, divert all your “bread” (that is “money” in hippie language) to your accounts in the Caymans! Or […]
Round about a month ago, your Wonkette informed you of the stupid state law/clusterfuck that precluded the city of Tampa from restricting guns around the site of the Republican National Convention. “Stupid idiot,” snitted some jive-ass commenters, “why do you make a big deal out of this obviously the Secret Service won’t let any guns […]
America is one step closer to being encapsulated in an enormous hippie bong cloud, thanks to the evil unions: Adam Nagourney reports that one of California’s most powerful unions, the Service Employees International Union, has come out in support of a ballot measure to make California the first state to legalize the sale and use […]
Hundreds of protesters waved signs and flags and stuff at the Port of Oakland on Sunday because an Israeli cargo ship was coming in and this was the most important way they could protest Israel for some reason. Longshoremen refused to cross the “picket line” of weirdos because apparently it had some union backing. In […]
Wonkette Sky-Chopper-One pilot and operative “Trey K.” sends us this live view of 14th and K NW, where maybe a couple of hundred of MoveOn/Anti-Capitalism protesters are demanding legislative changes to the financial reform bills. Can you feel the excitement? No? That’s because it began raining and they all fled like rats. NOT VERY HARDCORE.
South Carolina granola hippie Mark Sanford just couldn’t take the pressure, man, so he put on his Tevas and headed up to the mountains to clear his head. Nothing like some Kinhin walking meditation to get the fear of The Man — that man, the prez — out of your soul. At least out here […]
Flash mob, you guys! Cryptic playing card mementos, just like the Joker used! What’s it all add up to? A very urgent Citizen Effort to halt climate change, taking place at your local Longworth cafeteria in, hmm, 45 minutes or so.
Spring is almost here! How do we know? These goddamn hippies doing “magic” outside the White House. Stalin wouldn’t allow this if he was still president. [Daily Motion]